Ted: You know, the Greeks invented gay sex.
Kyan: They certainly did. Let's hear it for the Greeks!
Kyan: I feel so bad for him - he has two brothers who are identical twins, and he's the fraternal twin, so he's the odd man out.
Ted: I feel bad for the brothers, 'cause they're named Aristotle and Socrates.
Carson: Who does the laundry?
Carine: Not me.
Carson: Good answer.
Kyan: You're an actor, wanna have a play?
Ted (standing next to some giant paper roses): Wow, you've gotta stop and smell the roses... even when they're huge.
Kyan (Kneeling over Jai who is acting dead): Pedro!
Jai: Now look up at the sky and scream 'no.'
Kyan: Noooo!!!! Pedro!
Jai: That was really good!
Kyan: Wasn't that good?
Jai: Do you have headshots?
Kyan: Okay, scene!
Carson: Jai, did you tell him to wear something else for the audition?
Jai: I said I liked the suit.
Carson: You told him to wear something else? You bitch!
Thom: Jai, is there anything else you told him to do, like maybe put the sofa on the other wall?
Jai: I told him...
Ted: "Maybe have him make the truffles better?
Jai: I told him to shave against the grain.
Kyan: Good, Jai, thank you.