Thom: Don't forget, crudité is very important before a baseball game!
Ted: So Jason you flew all the way here in a helicopter to get your back waxed.
Thom: That's really gay.
Carson: Oh my gosh. Am I the Size Whisperer? Perfect fit!
Kid: They got me a size 5-1/2 and I'm a size 6.
Carson: Let me see if I can find something your size. May I show you a sensible pump as well?
Carson (surveying the damage to the concession stand): The bathroom. That's crucial! You need a place to fix your hair.
Ted (boxing up the donuts): We should really get some pink ones in there for the gay children.
Michelle: Yeah. Maybe two, 'cause there might be more than one.
Ted: Make it two, there might be two little gay kids.
Kyan: Is there huge pressure to sort of pull it off next year or is it kind of like, "Okay, we did it."?
Thom: It's like, "We've got 86 more years!"
Player: And when I hold the ball I have to hold it with my fingernails.
Carson: In my line of work they get mad when you hold the ball with your fingernails.
Ted: I bet you guys never make ball jokes, do you.
Kyan (on a strand of Johnny Damon's hair): I could sell this on eBay for like a thousand dollars, probably