Thom: (holding up the white curtains) Were these made out of someone's Communion dress?
Michael: Anne Marie chose them.
Thom: She must have been thinking wedding.
Kyan: (as Thom locks him into a closet) Aaarghh!
Thom: I can't believe how far you walked into that! I was like, "Maybe he'll walk into it. Maybe he'll walk into it. He walked into it! I can't believe it!"
Ted: (looking at Anne Marie's ceramic figures) You guys collect some strange things. (Ted holds up some ceramic frogs)
Anne Marie: I like frogs.
Ted: Oh my gosh I just go a menu idea! (Anne Marie screams with laughter) No they taste just like chicken!
Carson: (to Michael, about his shirt) This is terrible! We have to get this off of you immediately! (Carson removes Michael's shirt) Oh much better.
(A little later, after Carson has left the room)
Kyan: Michael, let me just tell you something. Look at me. I am the grooming guru. If one of these other queens asks you to take off your shirt, you don't do it. But now it's safe to take off your shirt. Let me have a look.
Thom: (to Anne Marie) We're going through your clothing. (Holds up T shirt with "Little Dicks Bay" printed on it) And I love Little Dicks Bay.
Anne Marie: Oh my God! That's where we went for our Honeymoon. Mike didn't want to go there just because the name.
Thom:He didn't want to go to Little Dicks Bay? You're like, "Sweetie, really, it's not so bad, don't worry!"
Ted: Is that near Big Cocks Cove?
Thom and Anne Marie: No.
Ted: (about Michael) He's cute, he's sweet and he's smart. I mean my husband is too, but...
Michael: (about their new house) The floors are a little creaky. It's a little old and dark ... prewar...
Thom: Yeah, but you know what, Ted's a little creaky, but we keep him around.
(The Fab Five find a huge jar with a number of coins and about three notes in it)
Thom: What are you saving up for?
Michael: That's the vacation fund.
Thom: This is your vacation money? So it looks like you guys are going to go to the Poconos for a night. (Picks up jar) "We're goin' to the Motel 6 right around the corner!"
Carson: I thought I'd found a dildo in here, but it's just a hair shaver.
Anne Marie: When we were getting married we went to a pre-marriage course.
Thom: Ted and I went to a pre-gay course once. He got not-so-straight As.
Anne Marie: The one thing he said which has always stuck in our minds was "never stop dating."
Ted: Oh my God I'm going to call my boyfriend and ask him out right now.
Thom: Wouldn't it be funny if he said no?
Ted: "Shut the hell up, get home, and take out the trash!"
(In the clothing store, Michael has put his shirt back on)
Carson: You keeping putting this shirt on! (Removes Michael's shirt. Again) You're more fun that this. Oh look (pointing Angelina Jolie! (then throws Michael's shirt away while he's looking the other way)
(A little later. Michael is now half-naked, wearing only underwear)
Carson: You know, just go to the airport like this. You'll get an upgrade (snaps fingers) like that.
Carson: (about the pants) These are an unfinished bottom. Story of my life.
(Jai and Kyan take Michael to a club and have drinks)
Jai: (about Michael carrying a drink in each hand) Thank you for double fisting for me.
Michael: Never a problem.
Michael: (telling Carson about the club) I sang "I Want You To Want Me."
Carson: That's funny because I want YOU to want me.
Carson: (showing Michael and Anne Marie their new luggage) We got you his'n'hers carrying bags. I put in a dime baggie ... just kidding. Wouldn't that be funny if we narked you at the airport and you got arrested?
Thom: She [Anne Marie] is gorgeous with short hair.
Carson: They're very Woody Allen and Mia Farrow. Minus Woody Allen.
(On the screen in the loft, Michael and Anne Marie are looking around their hotel suite and find the bed)
Kyan: Take off your clothes and get busy with it already!
(Michael and Anne Marie go onto the balcony, which overlooks the beach)
Jai: How many people have had sex on a balcony with that kind of landscape?
(Both Kyan and Jai raise their hands)
Thom: I did in Greece. It was with the person in the room below me, I fell off my balcony.
Kyan: (as Michael and Anne Marie read a note the Fab Five left them) We have handwriting like a woman, don't we?
Carson: (as Anne Marie goes to the spa and meets the female massage therapist) Maybe she's going to give her a Happy Ending.
(An underwear-clad Michael prepares for the renewal of vows, while a clueless Anne Marie gets ready at the spa)
Jai: She has no idea what's happening!
Ted: And she doesn't know that her husband's prancing around in his underwear for our personal enjoyment either!
Thom: (as Michael pours Anne Marie another glass of champagne) Wouldn't it be funny if after four glasses of champagne she was running down the beach lifting her top up and going "roargh!"?
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