Queer Eye

Season 2 Episode 9

Never too Late to Celebrate: Chris L

Aired Tuesday 12:00 AM Jul 27, 2004 on Bravo



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Thom: Can't sleep at night? Stop counting sheep and start counting threads. The higher the thread count, the better you sleep - 200, if you're on a budget; 400 - Better; 600 - Now we're talking. I'm floating on air.

    • Ted: Ice can be cool, in more ways than one - freeze fresh herbs in your ice cubes, and put them in drinks, for flavor, and for cool. Cheers!

    • Carson: When it comes to ties, size matters. Why not try a different size?

    • Jai: Wedding gifts are a must, but you don't have to bring them at the wedding. Cards and packages can easily get misplaced, and no honeymooner wants to juggle boxes on the plane to Antigua.

    • Thom: (about Chris, to Jai) Look at that smoking butt.

    • Kyan: Ready to party?
      Carson: Yeah, open up the gay bar.

    • Jai: (about the diamond necklace) "Bling" leads me to tears.

    • Thom: This just proves that if you are given lemons, you make lemonade.
      Carson: Or you can add vodka.

    • Carson (Jai starts crying) Come here sweetie.

    • Kyan: Why am I sitting next to Thom?
      Thom: Because you have a bad personality and I balance you out.

    • Carson: What more could a gal like me ask for?

    • Chris takes a shower while the Fab Five watch from their loft.
      Carson: Did you recommend that shower?
      Kyan: Yeah, I did.
      Carson: I love you!

    • Ted: Jai-Lo! Straight guy for you!

    • Ted (abou Michelle's conservative parents): Yep Carson, you can live in Jersey, but not in sin.

    • Carson: Let's groom the Groom.

    • Thom: (to Chris) Come here sugar. Let's snuggle in your new bed.

    • Jai When I grow up, I wanna have an ass just like that.

    • Thom: Is this your thong Michelle?
      Michelle: It's either mine or yours.
      Thom: OK, I'll take it.

    • Carson: We'll get you naked. (Chris immediately starts undressing) Good, good. Very good!

    • Thom: What do you think is romantic?
      Carson: Maybe everyone can be naked at their wedding? I'd like that.

    • Carson: (while wearing a black garbage can on his face) I am your father.

    • Carson: You're under arrest for living like this.

    • Carson (Carson and Chris walk out both inside the same huge sweatshirt): Do you think your parents will be stunned to find out you had a siamese brother undiscovered until now?

    • Ted (about Chris and Michell's wedding photos): Which picture is your dad and where's the shotgun?

    • Jai: Hey where is the porn?
      Thom: There is no porn?
      Jai: Yeah, there isn't any.
      Thom: Damn it!

    • Carson: You can live in New Jersey but you can't live in sin?

      Thom: You guys, I found the Lindbergh baby!

      Ted: It's like self-help refrigerator magnets. That's just creeping me out.

      Carson: It's like the Amish version of Sex in the City.

      Thom: You're asthetically-challenged.

      Ted: Will it make her cry? I wanna make her cry!

      Thom: We are about to go through Tabletop 101. For gay people this is like Monday Night football.

      Carson: Sometimes it's so hard to find the hole.

      Ted (about the marquee): Come on in, guys. We pitched a tent!

    • Ted: Here's your new bride!
      (Carson runs up wearing a veil)
      Carson: There's still time!
      Ted: Wait wait wait! Carson, wearing white?

      Ted(on making cards): Guys just don't get to play with ribbon and hole punchers do they?

      Kyan: All I have to say to you is, Pour me a glass of champagne, bitch!

      Kyan: Do you want what's in the trash can or behind curtain #1?

      Carson: It's every girl's best friend, it's rock hard and shiny. Diamonds!

      Chris: You really showed me how to be a man.
      Thom: Isn't that ironic?

      Jai: I wanna get married now!

      Carson: did you recommend a bath?
      Kyan: I did.
      Carson: I love you!
      Kyan: No bubbles guys, no bubbles!
      (Chris draws the shower curtain across the bath)
      Fab Five: AAAAAAWWWWWWW!-Fab 5

      Carson: He's got a slammin' body!

      (Talking about the importance of a good seating plan)
      Kyan: Why am I sitting next to Thom?
      Thom: Because I've got a good personality and you don't.
      Kyan: Oh.That makes me feel so much better.

      Kyan: The men are all crying, I love it!

      Carson (on the dancing guests) they are so Caucasian!

      Thom: This proves you can take lemons and make lemonade!
      Carson: Or add vodka!

  • Notes

    • The Fab 5 all gave Chris and Michelle a wedding present:

      Jai gave Chris a speech and hired a photographer for the wedding.
      Carson gave Chris a diamond necklace to give to Michelle.
      Thom designed them a bedroom, and the party.
      Kyan gave them a spa gift basket.
      Ted gave them china.

  • Allusions

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