Queer Eye

Season 2 Episode 5

Queer Eye for a Not-So-Straight Guy: Wayne H.

Aired Tuesday 12:00 AM Jun 29, 2004 on Bravo



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Ted: Dress your drinks, to give them color, and looks. Lemon? Lime? BORING! Accessorize with more exotic fruits, like Starfruit, or even flowers. Drink gay! (takes a drink)

    • Carson: Raining outside? Good news for wet shoes - put a dried newspaper inside them, to keep their form.

    • Thom: Mirrors don't lie, but they can expand your space. Get a mirror, and start living large.

    • Wayne: (sings a song about bicycles) And I like the way they feel, under my ass.

    • Thom: (Wayne enters the gay bar) Striped shirts as far as the eye can see!

    • Kyan: You can tell he's not a straight girl because he's not going...
      Fab 5: Awesome!

    • Ted: There's our bitchy queen.

    • Ted: We should have given him a bong.

    • Jai: It just goes to show: bad taste does not discriminate.
      Ted: They'll let anybody by gay these days!
      Thom: Exactly. How did he get his gay card?

      Kyan: There's a disco shower curtain in here. Ted, have you seen this? This beats all the shower curtain I've ever come in contact with.

      Ted (looking at a studded bracelet): This is for his wrist, right? Because...you know.

      Thom (about a massaging shower brush): Our sisters in the other community... they love these.

      (Carson puts an entire hotdog in his mouth and then gags it back up)
      Carson: Ooh, I do have a gag reflex!

      Thom: Why are you getting undressed in the refrigerator?
      Wayne: They told me to.

      Ted (setting up a drinking bird toy): Drink you stupid bird! (bird falls over) I don't know how to work this bird. What does that say about me?

      Carson: I have some terrible news for you, okay? Lesbians have come in, taken all of your clothing, and left nothing but fleece.

      Wayne: Once I got to college I was never alone for very long.
      Ted: I guess that's fun.
      Thom: You were a slut! I love it!

      Thom: You know this leather headboard—which you can clean easily. I don't even want to get into it, but just a little FYI.

      Ted: Man does not live by croutons alone.

      Carson: The only thing that separates us from the heterosexuals is our ability to accesorize.

      Kyan: Don't you love happy endings?

      (Ted is making drinks with cherries in them)
      Wayne: (looking in his drink)Where's my cherry?
      Ted: That's really not something I can answer, Wayne.

      Wayne: How come I don't have a sponge?
      Jai: Why doesn't he have a sponge, Ted?
      Kyan: Why doesn't he have a sponge, Thom?
      Carson: Dammit, Ted. Where's the sponge?
      Ted: I'm not the sponge provider.

      Ted: He lives in a 5th floor walk up.
      Fab Five: NNNOOO!!!!!

      Wayne (going through CDs): Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna...
      Carson: Okay he's gay.

  • Notes

    • This episode aired during Gay Pride Month. Post-production and editing on this episode was completed in less than half the usual time, to meet this deadline.

  • Allusions