Queer Eye

Season 2 Episode 6

Raising the Stakes: John S.

Aired Tuesday 12:00 AM Jul 06, 2004 on Bravo



  • Trivia

    • Jai really does handcuff himself in this episode; it is not a joke for the cameras. They had to call someone from the police department to come over to remove them.

  • Quotes

    • The Fab Five decide to play poker)
      Ted: I don't have any money, can I just put in my watch?
      Carson taking off one of his shoes and placing it on the table): I bet my Ferragamo loafers!
      Kyan (scooping Jai up in his arms): I bet Jai!
      Jai: I can't be bet! You can't bet humans!

    • Carson: (having AJAX spilled on his sweater) Is there bleach in that? There is! Oh my God! AAAAAA!

    • Kyan: (wearing a turban made out of a towel) I am the grooming genie, you get three wishes. No nose hair, I do it. (claps) No back hair, I do it. (claps)
      Carson: You have to rub something.

    • (Carson finds a pair of handcuffs hidden away in a box and puts them under John's pillow. Jai finds them there and immediately puts them on himself)
      John: I lost the key to those.
      Jai: Why do you have handcuffs with no key?! They were under a pillow. I thought this was a sex toy!

    • Thom: How quintessential straight guy is this? The poker game.
      Carson: This guy is USG.
      Fab Five: The ultimate straight guy!

      Thom: This could be the worst color ever!

      Ted (finding a pack of beef jerky): Look! It's like I've got a deck of meat cards. Deal me in some mad cow!

      Thom handcuffs Jai to a lamp
      Jai: What, you've never seen a guy attached to a lamp before?
      Ted: Hey, Jai, could you come over here? We could use some light over here.

      Carson (John's son goes to hug Carson, thinking he is leaving): I'm not going anywhere. You can hug me all you want, but I'm staying.

      Jai: I'm sorry. I'm depressed about this (raises hand wiuth handcuff attached) so I'm having a fluffernutter.

      Ted: So Thom, what do we get rid? This is ugly.
      Thom: Well, Ted, if we had to rid of everything that was ugly...
      Ted and Thom: You wouldn't be here!!

      Carson: So tell me about poker night. It's like all the male bonding you want without going to Riker's Island.

      Carson: This isn't beach bum, this is beach homeless.

      Ted: How much beer is in this?
      Brewery Worker: Um, let's see. That would be like 42 kegs.
      Ted: Dude!
      John: One semester!
      Brewery Worker: You didn't have a very good semester if you only got through 42 kegs.
      John: No, that was me personally.

      Rita (on a hole in the wall): He didn't know what to do, so he took a picture of the hole, framed it, and put it over the hole.

      Kyan: Yo Car!
      Carson: I'm just in the closet.
      Kyan: Oh, come out! Come out!

      Carson: Tonight we're playing poker, tonight we're upping our Ante Mame.
      Ted: Wait, did you pull a fashion bait-and-switch?
      Carson: Yes, we did!

      Ted: What do you think about dieting?
      I don't know. I've never thought of it.
      Ted: Good. Me neither.

      Kyan: Poker? I don't even know her!

      Thom: He's a booze hound! I love it!

      Ted: They're kinda like the Fab Five in a way, only without the whole "sleeping-with-guys" thing.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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