Ted: There he is...
Kyan: Yay, Thom Filicia!
Ted: Thom's the only one who's actually drinking already!
Thom: Hey Ted. What do you think about these curtains?
Ted: Um, it looks like a really cheap wedding dress that exploded.
Thom (to Elaine): Well he's a real bitch. I was just going to say they weren't that cool.
Thom: What about all this stuff on top? These stuffed animals?
Elaine: They're sentimental.
Thom: They are? They're sentimental? Like enough to be in the living room, not in the bedroom or guest room or the office or a closet or a box in the garage or storage out on the deck?
Jai: Two is a dealer's ace.
Ted: What does that mean?
Jai: I don't know.
Kyan: This is very... apartment complex chic. Without the chic.
Random guy: I'm workin' on a straight.
Ted: Jai's often working on straights.
Jai: Oh, my god, there's mermaids
Carson: It's like 'Finding Nemo'
Ted: He looks like a professional dungeons and dragons player, not a professional poker player.
The $10,000 prize in the celebrity charity poker game in this episode was donated to Habitat for Humanity in New Orleans.