Season 1 Episode 5

(Disdainfully) The Helbergs

Aired Sunday 8:30 PM Jul 14, 2004 on FOX
out of 10
User Rating
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Episode Summary

(Disdainfully) The Helbergs
The Chases compete to be the stars of a commercial for a minivan, which they will get to keep if they win. They are up against the Helbergs, their ultimate quint family rivals.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • (The Chase family and Tyler (posing as Parker) get in a van, getting ready to film an audition tape)
        Tyler: Paige, listen. I think we should break up.
        Paige: (confused) What?
        Tyler: I like you, it's just, I think of you more as a sister.
        Paige: (saddened) You're breaking up with me?
        Carol: Now? You're doing this now?
        Tyler: Well, yeah, I wanted to wait until the audition was over.
        Carol: (angry) It hasn't started yet.
        Tyler: Then why are we driving home?

      • Pearce: Knock knock
        Bob: Who's there?
        Pearce: Orange
        Bob: Orange who?
        Pearce: Orange juice

      • (At the audition, Pearce takes off his jacket and he's wearing a seatbelt around his chest)
        Bob: Pearce, what are you wearing?
        Pearce: It's a seatbelt from the Quie-Mobile,it still feels like she's hugging me.
        Bob: Well, it looks psychotic.
        Pearce: You didn't say anything in the car ride over.
        Bob: Yeah, cause I thought you were wearing a seatbelt!
        Pearce: I am.

      • Carol: Bob, why did you stop? It was just an idle threat.
        Bob: Carol, check the side view mirror...see that thing on fire.
        Carol: Yeah, what is that?
        Bob: Our transmission...hehehehe
        Carol: What's so funny?
        Bob: hehehe...nothing, I just don't want to cry in front of the kids..hehehehe

      • (The two sets of quints face off.)
        Tyler: I'm Parker.
        Pearce: I miss Quie-Mobile.
        Penny: I can't see.
        Paige (along with Helberg quint across from her): I love your hair!
        Patton (facing off with the biggest Helberg quint): It's like looking in a mirror.

      • Bob: (to Parker) You can all be easily replaced. (points to Tyler) You! You're Parker now!

      • Jill: Aren't you adorable.
        Patton: Yes I am. You likey?

      • (The family and Tyler are rehearsing for the commercial.)
        Patton: Shouldn't I sit in the front seat? So all the lady viewers can dream about getting me in the backseat?
        Bob: Keep it up Thumbelina and you'll be sitting in the glove compartment.

      • (after finding out he was once in therapy)
        Pearce: That was a therapist? I thought it was just a friend with very limited time.

      • Bob: (about Tyler) He said "I'm Parker" fifteen times in a ten minute meeting. Like it or not, he made an impression

    • NOTES (4)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)