Quintuplets Season 1 Episode 20

Bob: There's nothing going on between me and Sophia. Except for the fact that when I'm with her, for one hour, I'm not Bob the Husband. I'm not Bob the Father. I'm Bob the Dancer.
Carol: Oh please. You just like to be able to press up against a sexy woman who's not your wife and get away with it.
Bob: I don't need to take dance lessons to do that. I can do that on the bus.

Carol: Okay, Bob. What the hell's going on?
Bob: What do you mean?
Carol: For one thing, you're quoting that stupid novelty toilet paper your mother gave us.

Patton: I can't stand to listen to anymore of your pseudo-intellectual crap. "I'm Penny and I quote poets and act superior to everybody to hide the fact that I really hate myself."
Penny: Yeah right. Look who's talking. "I'm Patton. If I act cocky, maybe no one will notice how insecure I am."
Patton: Wrong. I'm cocky because I gots the goods.
Penny: The goods? You mean "Yes I am. You likey?"
Patton: Don't you ever mock the likey!

Patton: If I have to go out with you one more time, I'm going to pull out my intestines and strangle myself with them.
Penny: Which one? Your small intestine or your smaller intestine?

Alayna: I didn't know you speak Korean.
Paige: Is that what that is? I just picked it up. I come here a lot.

Brady: Julie and I love hanging out. We've known each other forever.
Julie: We're like brother and sister.
Penny: So you hate each other?

Penny: I was gonna use my "Nothing Exists" t-shirt, but ironically I couldn't find it.

Parker: Wow. Sculpting the eyebrows. Who's the girl? Other than you.
Patton: Julie Herman.
Parker: Seriously. Wow, man, she's amazing. How'd you swing that?
Patton: The usual way. I asked her out ten times a day for two months until she lost the will to say no.

Patton: Look at me! The waitress gave me a kids menu!

Penny: We don't need them. We so don't need them
Patton: Your right
Penny: No we're not!
Patton: Who was I kidding??

Paige: She (Alayna) is going to get her first mani-pedi. She is going to finally feel like a woman. (Makes a face) That came out icky.

Penny: Do you really think I hate myself?
Patton: Yeah... but who could blame you?