Thank god iTunes had the pilot for free or else I would have missed the glorious opportunity to see the premiere episode of Raines, Jeff Goldblum's latest attempt to remind the world that he doesn't act anymore. Let's start out with the stupidity of this concept. Jeff Goldblum is a cop, and he imagines the victims of his crimes, so for the entire episode, he talks to himself. Oooo! That's something amazing right there. Really, I mean how dumb do you have to be to think watching someone's internal debate for an hour is actually interesting? Seriously, isn't the very idea of drama that you're supposed to externalize the conflict? Otherwise, write a damn book! And it's not even like there's a debate about if these ghosts are in his head or what not. They come out and tell you, "they're in his head. It's interesting because he talks to himself." Let's look at the other shows that use this device (and they are numerous). Rescue Me actually pulls this off. Mostly because Tommy actually has something to be tormented about, and also of course because they try to avoid actually stating whether or not the ghosts are real or in Tommy's head. Six Feet Under as well manages to use this technique to their advantage. And then there's medium, where the ghosts are real. And that's more interesting... because the ghosts are real. You don't make something better by centering it more inside the characters neurosies, unless of course that character is Larry David, and then you can pull it off. But I think the big difference is that in these other shows, that's merely a feature of the show, these characters and their relationships with people who aren't around anymore. It's what makes the show something else. In Raines, that's served up as the entirety of the show.
The fact is, since these people are all just figments of his imagination, than all the show is is him. And frankly, he's not terribly interesting. And now that we're talking about him, let's mention Jeff Goldblum for a minute. Jeff Goldblum, who used to be an actor. He was fun on screen, but now, it's just the same tone of voice and speech pattern for a solid hour. He never does anything interesting, he just stays the same forever. He's dull on screen. So yeah. I say, skip this show. For once, let's show the networks that we don't have to watch every piece of shlock they put on the air. Let this show die.