Raising the Bar Season 2 Episode 10

Nick: (talking to Marcus about a plea proposal from Jerry) Tell Kellerman you asked and I said no. Oh, and make yourself some new friends. Go for better calibre. I mean that in the nicest way.

Bobbi: (holding the evidence) May I challenge the admissibility, Your Honor?
Judge Albert Farnsworth: Understanding that I have a limited supply of patience?
Bobbi: Noted, Judge.
Judge Albert Farnsworth: Start your engine.

Judge Albert Farnsworth: Miss Gilardi, I don't like conspiracy theories. I don't think Princess Diana was murdered by the Royal Family. I don't think they dissected aliens in Roswell. And I'm pretty damn sure that the grassy knoll in Dallas, just a grassy knoll.

(talking about Laurel Redson's case)
Roz: Does the jury want to believe her?
Bobbi: On account of her telling the truth?
Roz: There's telling and then there's selling.

Jerry: I need a better plea for my client.
Nick: You think small, Jerry. Me? I need a house in the Hamptons with a private beach and a helipad. Which is equally unrealistic, I know.

Michelle: I'm the world's worst idiot.
Nick: Don't flatter yourself. There's a lot of competition for that title.