Rules of Engagement

Season 2, Episode 2, Aired

Episode Summary

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Jerry and Michelle go before an overly strict new judge and the case only gets worse when Michelle realizes that she may have feelings for a witness. Meanwhile, a case revolves around two older twins accused of falsifying a welfare check.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

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    • QUOTES (10)

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      • Judge Farnsworth: I understand how very much you want me to dismiss these charges, Mr. Diaz, but wishful thinking lacks legal merit. Motion denied.

      • Judge Farnsworth: Understand that I'm gonna put the speed back in the 'speedy trial' concept.

      • Richard: You need separate counsel, because if one of you says something that hurts the other... Danny Rose: That happens all day long. Davey Rose: Aah, you're over-sensitive, Danny.

      • Davey Rose: So, an old guy goes to his doctor... Danny Rose: Oh, I already told that. Davey Rose: No, this is the other one. And the doctor says, 'I wanna run some tests. I'm gonna need a blood sample, a urine sample, and a stool sample.' And the old guy says, 'Okay! Take my underwear.' (laughs, then to Richard) It'll be funnier when you're old. Danny Rose: It'll be funnier if you would've said underpants.

      • Bobbi: Better view's from the high road.

      • Richard: Sleep is the brother of death... Homer. Judge Kessler: You're trying to impress me, Mr. Woolsley? 'Cause it'll take a lot more than poetry. Way more.

      • Judge Kessler: I should've had kids. Charlie: Trudy, you don't like kids. Judge Kessler: It's an unpleasant stage, but they usually turn into people. Charlie: When's the last time you called your mother? Judge Kessler: Point taken.

      • Charlie: Compassion is not a legal principle. Jerry: (arrives and joins Richard and Charlie) See, and right there you defined the moral failure of jurisprudence as we know it. Charlie: Just when I was starting to relax.

      • Charlie: Coincidence is more plausible than conspiracy.

      • Nick: (to Michelle) That's all Kellerman's got? Screw him. Michelle: Okay. Nick: I don't mean litterally, of course. Michelle: Don't worry.

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    • ALLUSIONS (1)

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      • Richard: Sleep is the brother of Death... Homer. In The Iliad by ancient Greek poet Homer, he wrote: "to swift conveyors to bear with them, / even to the twin brethren, Sleep and Death."

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