Raising the Bar Season 2 Episode 2

Judge Farnsworth: Understand that I'm gonna put the speed back in the 'speedy trial' concept.

Richard: You need separate counsel, because if one of you says something that hurts the other...
Danny Rose: That happens all day long.
Davey Rose: Aah, you're over-sensitive, Danny.

Davey Rose: So, an old guy goes to his doctor...
Danny Rose: Oh, I already told that.
Davey Rose: No, this is the other one. And the doctor says, 'I wanna run some tests. I'm gonna need a blood sample, a urine sample, and a stool sample.' And the old guy says, 'Okay! Take my underwear.' (laughs, then to Richard) It'll be funnier when you're old.
Danny Rose: It'll be funnier if you would've said underpants.

Bobbi: Better view's from the high road.

Richard: Sleep is the brother of death... Homer.
Judge Kessler: You're trying to impress me, Mr. Woolsley? 'Cause it'll take a lot more than poetry. Way more.

Judge Kessler: I should've had kids.
Charlie: Trudy, you don't like kids.
Judge Kessler: It's an unpleasant stage, but they usually turn into people.
Charlie: When's the last time you called your mother?
Judge Kessler: Point taken.

Charlie: Compassion is not a legal principle.
Jerry: (arrives and joins Richard and Charlie) See, and right there you defined the moral failure of jurisprudence as we know it.
Charlie: Just when I was starting to relax.

Charlie: Coincidence is more plausible than conspiracy.