Real Time With Bill Maher

Season 3 Episode 9

April 22, 2005

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Aired Friday 10:00 PM Apr 22, 2005 on HBO
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April 22, 2005
AIRED:
Rated: TV-MA for Adult Content (AC) and Adult Language (AL)
Tonight's episode is Live from L.A.
Guests: Actress Jane Fonda, talk show host Joe Scarborough, columnist Maureen Dowd, former Sen. Alan Simpson, environmentalist Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

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    • QUOTES (10)

      • Bill Maher: Let's get real about Pope John Paul, who - Bush, you know, came back from his funeral, said, 'He's the greatest guy.' They love John Paul. John Paul said this country was a 'bunch of soulless cash whores, too much into materialism, living on the backs of the poor.' He was against the death penalty. He was against the war in Iraq. Let's face it, if he wasn't the Pope, Bush and his team would have savaged this guy the way they do Michael Moore.

      • Jane Fonda: I don't believe in the Christianity that says one thing and then goes and kills innocent people and tries to rob women of their fundamental human right to control their reproductive lives, or deny people of the same sex their right to be married and have relationships and is judgmental and narrow-minded, and angry and vengeful. That is not the Jesus Christ that I believe in.

      • Maureen Dowd: He wrote a letter about the role of men and women, and what is the proper role of men and women in the Church, and toward each other. And started with Adam and Eve, and then didn't get much farther than that. But he said that women should not have adversarial positions to men. Which means, a), there goes my whole career. And also if I want to come on this show again, I have to choose between you and eternal damnation.

      • Joe Scarborough: Environmentalists going on TV, Hollywood stars talking about how much they love the environment and wasting more fuel on one private jet flight from L.A. to Las Vegas than most middle-class Americans waste in an entire year and they see hypocrisy.

      • Joe Scarborough: There are some people out there who are Christians - who are Christians, who believe that homosexuality is a sin. You know what? I'm a Christian. I do believe that it's a sin. You know what else? I believe divorce is a sin. Guess what? I've been divorced. Guess what? Jesus talks about divorce a lot more than he talks about homosexuality. I don't know why people obsess over it so much, but they do. Wait a second. I do know why they obsess over it. Because they get votes bashing gays.

      • Sen. Alan Simpson: I tell you, without fuel oil, New England would drift off into the sea... we passed the Alaska Wilderness Bill in '80, and we set aside 20,000 acres in an area which is - and it said right in the bill that in the event of Congress wishing to drill this area, it would be drilled. And that passed by a huge bipartisan vote. That's in the bill. And that's the only part they're going into. It's about the size of a sparrow fart in the midst of a typhoon.

      • Robert Kennedy Jr.: The Cato Institute has said that President Bush's claim that drilling in the Arctic is going to reduce our dependence on foreign oil is - quote - "not just nonsense, but nonsense on stilts." There's no way that the Arctic is going to help us. The reason is there's less than 0.02% of global reserves in the Arctic, and most of that oil is going to end up going to Asia, not the United States, because those are the nearest ports.

      • Robert Kennedy Jr.: All the things that we need to do to solve global warming are things that we ought to be doing for our economy and to assure our prosperity anyway. If we raise fuel-efficiency standards by one mile per gallon, we can yield more oil - twice the amount of oil that's in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. If we raise fuel-economy standards by 5.6 - or 7.6 - miles per gallon, we can end our Persian Gulf imports into this country. We would be able to end our dependence on foreign dictators who hate democracy, who are despised by their own people. To relieve ourselves of the kind of expensive adventures that we're now involved with in Iraq.

      • Bill Maher: Why doesn't Bush get the opprobrium that he deserves from the right wing, from everybody, for this? Why does it have to be "he's on my team, we have to pretend and twist ourselves into some sort of a pretzel to defend this?" Shouldn't he be getting a bashing for not improving airport security even though he's on your team?

      • Bill Maher: I don't understand why they are defending this guy. He is a raging diplomat. That just seems like a contradiction. I think this guy would be perfect as head of Homeland Security. If you need a "rip off your head and shit down your neck" kind of guy, why don't we put him head of making the airports better? But as far as our top diplomat, it seems insane that this is the guy they want for this job.

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