Real Time With Bill Maher

Season 3 Episode 2

February 25, 2005

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Feb 25, 2005 on HBO
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Episode Summary

February 25, 2005
Rated: TV-MA for Adult Content (AC) and Adult Language (AL)
Tonight's episode is Live from L.A.
Guests: Former baseball slugger Jose Canseco, actor Tim Robins, Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones, talk show host Tucker Clarson, and Gov. Mike Huckabee.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (13)

      • Jose Canseco: It's done a lot of players a lot of good. And obviously, this drug is a drug where it's dose-related. Anything in overdose will destroy your liver. I mean, look at cigarettes and look at liquor. Cigarettes says on the packet, this will kill you; it will cause cancer; and you're still smoking it.

      • Tucker Carlson: I was not a supporter of the invasion of Iraq, but I mean, look, the worst, most dangerous thing you can say to a country that's arming itself with nuclear weapons is we're not going to attack you under any circumstances. That's just inviting that country to do reckless things... That's what armies are for, 90% of the time, they're not to actually deploy. They're to exist as a threat to make people do what you want them to do because you could, in fact, use it. But you don't have to.

      • Bill Maher: I didn't like that he lied to get us into this war. I certainly didn't like that it was conducted in such an incompetent way. But now that he's morphed the script from what it was in 2003 to 'I'm the Johnny Appleseed of democracy and we want to bring freedom to the world.' I like that script better, I have to say. I know it was bullshit how we got there. But this script I like better. And it sounds exactly like the script that Carter used to say: human rights, remember that? You can't love it when they said it and hate it when Bush says it. It's the same thing.

      • Tim Robbins: You can't create democracy at the point of a gun. People have got to have their own movement within their own countries to create democracy.

      • Tucker Carlson: I guess the question is, is there any kind of behavior that you can't excuse by saying, 'Oh, it's my religious belief?' No, there isn't. And at some point, we need to say, actually this is right, this is wrong; you disagree on religious grounds, tough for you.

      • Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones: I respect the Muslim religion and their choice not to shake hands with women.

      • Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones: I think that a professor ought to have the opportunity to say – express his feelings and exercise his right to free speech. Though I don't agree with what he said, I think he should have that right. And I don't believe a statement such as was made by Ward Churchill necessarily says that he's a mediocre professor. I don't know what kind of professor he is. But I don't think the state should have the ability to kick him out of office.

      • Bill Maher: Listening to these tapes really changed my opinion of George Bush. Because what I found out is that he's not a phony. The stupid stuff he says, he really believes. I'm not kidding. He says, 'I'm not going to kick gays because I'm a sinner. How can I differentiate sin?' That's what he says publicly. I think it's sub-mental, but, you know what – I do. I'm sorry if you think being gay is a sin, you know, but that's as good as you're going to get from a redneck.

      • Gov. Mike Huckabee: They commit that they will see a counselor to try to work through their problems before they see a lawyer to try to get out of their marriage. Because in states like Arkansas, Bill, it's easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a contract when you buy a used car.

      • Bill Maher: What about the American tradition of rugged individualism? Don't you think we've become too co-dependent a society? Discussions like this, they make someone like myself, who has never been married, and I think other single people, feel like we're second-class citizens, that somehow we're deficient because we never got married. And I remind you a lot of successful people never got married, like Oprah Winfrey and the Pope!

      • Tim Robbins: I think this always seems to happen regarding an issue like euthanasia or abortion... You never see anyone questioning the idea of revenge-killing as not a very good message to send out to the country. Which is in pretty much every action-adventure film.

      • Bill Maher: But when you're keeping someone alive with the artificial technology that we have today, to me, that's way more playing God than to let someone who would be dead, be dead.

      • Bill Maher: The big movie with the controversy this year that I hear is going to sweep the Oscars is 'Million Dollar Baby.' It's got a big secret, which is that it's 45 minutes too long. But I think the secret is kind of out. Clint Eastwood kills somebody in the movie – I'm not going to say who. And people – the right wing is upset about this because it's about euthanasia. It's about mercy killing. And it just makes me laugh because Clint Eastwood in his movies has killed about five million people, most of them with a knife or with his bare hands.

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    • ALLUSIONS (0)