Real Time With Bill Maher

Season 6 Episode 11

March 28, 2008

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Mar 28, 2008 on HBO
out of 10
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Episode Summary

March 28, 2008
Rated: TV-MA for Adult Content (AC) and Adult Language (AL)
Tonight's episode is Live from L.A.

Bill's panel tonight are:

* Robert Klein, comedian who has done HBO specials since 1975.
* Robin Wright, author and journalist whose new book is "Dreams and Shadows."
* Tavis Smiley, NPR and PBS talk show host.

Bill's other guests are:
* John Cusack, actor/writer/producer.
* Dan Savage, Real Time Reporter.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

No results found.
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    Robert Klein

    Robert Klein


    Guest Star

    Tavis Smiley

    Tavis Smiley


    Guest Star

    John Cusack

    John Cusack


    Guest Star

    Dan Savage

    Dan Savage

    Real Time Real Reporter

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (5)

      • Bill Maher: New Rule: If I'm paying four bucks a gallon for gas, that TV in the pump has to show porn. This way, I'm not the only one at the pump taking it in the ass.

        New Rule: Democrats have to stop overestimating the intelligence of the American people. Hillary and Obama's backdrops have five words on them. Easy, Einstein! Bush only has three words on his. And McCain's has none, because his supporters can't see that far. Sorry, Hilla-Barack, this is America. Anything that wouldn't make sense to the Hulk or Frankenstein is too much. So, here are some suggestions: "Economy Bad." "War Boom." "Black Guy Friend."

        New Rule: Jessica Alba doesn't have to speak Spanish. Or at all if she doesn't want to. Some Latino groups are complaining that Jessica Alba is neglecting her heritage by not speaking Spanish. Sorry, but when I fantasize about Jessica Alba being bi, I don't mean bilingual. Plus, it's unfair to expect starlets to always reflect their heritage. Lindsay Lohan is Irish. No one expects her to get drunk and crash a car into a tree. Bad example.

        New Rule: If you're in college and not drinking beer, you're doing it wrong. Students at Utah State have taken to playing the drinking game, Beer Pong. With root beer! Instead of beer, root beer! And instead of laughing and partying and trying to get laid, everybody wishes they were dead. Hey, Mormons, if you're going to ask kids to believe in magic underpants and posthumous baptism, don't you kind of want to get 'em half in the bag first?

        New Rule: Yoko Ono has to stop saying, "It's what John would have wanted." Really? He would have wanted his songs interpreted by Russian gymnasts at the Mirage Casino? He would have wanted a John Lennon action figure? You know what? I think I know what John Lennon would have wanted: A divorce and Lucy Liu.

        New Rule: Being a Democrat and realizing you're never going to be president doesn't mean you have to grow a beard. [photos of Al Gore and Bill Richardson sporting beards] Is it a suicide watch thing? They take away your razor? All I know is, this tradition must stop now, because no one needs to see this. [photo of Hillary Clinton with beard]

        New Rule: Scientists must tell us what's in Tampa's drinking water that makes teachers want to fu*k their students. Remember Debra LaFave of Tampa? Well, in the past two weeks, three more Tampa school marms have been arrested for having sex with kids in their class. Authorities are warning parents to look for telltale signs of an affair like a sudden change in your child's behavior, of a note on his report card that says, "Tommy is a pleasure to have in my vagina." That killed me, too.

        And, finally, New Rule: Candidates must stop posing on farm equipment. Here's Barack Obama on a tractor, just like the one he used in Afghanistan to harvest poppies. You know, these kind of photos only hurt a campaign. Like this one of Hillary posing with a seed spreader. [photo of Hillary Clinton with Bill Clinton].

      • Robin Wright: If you thought Iraq was complicated before, look at it today. The president talks about a defining moment. This is really a redefining moment. And you find not only as we saw in the past, Shiites and Sunnis and Kurds fighting each other, now it's intra-Shiite.

      • Tavis Smiley: I like Frederick Douglass' definition, that a true patriot - I think you'll agree with this - a true patriot is a lover of his country who rebukes and does not excuse its sins. If you love your country, you rebuke it when it's got to be rebuked. You don't excuse its sins. John McCain's definition, and the Fox News Channel's definition, is very different. It's about "God Bless America."

      • Dan Savage: If you're interested in not having two more Alitos on the Supreme Court, because Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stevens are holding on by the skin of their teeth. And if you're interested in not having another Republican president naming Supreme Court nominees, you don't want the Democratic nomination process to go on into August, because they're both going to be so bloodied and damaged that McCain is going to win.

      • John Cusack: (On war opportunists) After a while, you have to just expose and shame and indict and hopefully convict the participants in this illegal, immoral ideology. So, yeah, maybe - are Americans complacent? Yeah. But, I'm not ready to give up or cede the Constitution of the United States to this bunch of hoodlums.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • Bill Maher: (To John Cusack) What about standing in front of the White House with a boom-box, like this? (Holds hands over his head)

        This is a reference to the Cusack film Say Anything, a seminal moment in his career.

      • Bill Maher: "Hillary: Get Elected or Lie Tryin'"

        This is a reference to the 50 Cent movie Get Rich or Die Tryin' from 2005.

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