Real Time With Bill Maher

Season 5 Episode 22

October 19, 2007

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Oct 19, 2007 on HBO
out of 10
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Episode Summary

October 19, 2007
Rated: TV-MA for Adult Content (AC) and Adult Language (AL)

Tonight's episode is Live from L.A.

This week, Bill welcomes:

* Chris Matthews, host of "Hardball" on MSNBC.
* Joel Stein, journalist from the LA Times and Time magazine.
* Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX)
Bill's guest via Satellite:
* John Edwards, Democratic Presidential candidate.
* Garry Kasparov, former world chess champion.moreless

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  • Any openings in the Audience department?

    Bill, you may laugh your own humor and enjoy hearing yourself speak a tad too much. But no one can accuse you of being a p_s_y. You impressed the hell out of me when you got up and walked to the retarded trouble makers to throw them out yourself. The fact that you did not hesitate to do a job that had to be done on your ship is a tribute to your character. Now, go easy on your audience department (if it's not too late!) The human mind can be very complex and deceptive to the best shrink.

    Thank you for the special moment.moreless
  • in canada . . . ?

    i agree with the previous poster from canada, but must point out that i was surprised to see that canadians obviously don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." my bad! that was a gross (and rude) generalization on my part. and actually, my point is the canadian poster's point about limitations on freedom of speech *in the united states* is correct, but his or her point could and should have been made without an apples-to-oranges comparison between canada and the united states. when canada becomes a super-power, with all the burdens and benefits of that status, then comparisons between canada and the u.s. will be appropriate. till then, canada is beside the point and gross generalizations about americans, with subsequent ad nauseum comparisons to canadians, are tiresome.

    i would add, with regard to bill maher's october 19 episode (which is what this is all really about), kudos to bill maher for his ongoing courage to say what is on everyone's mind these days but which for some reason never gets said in any public forum. curious, that.moreless
  • On this weeks show, a few hecklers decided to have a verbal brain fart and I applaud Bill's response.

    As many of you saw on Real Time this week, Bill Maher was heckled by some angry audience members. He responded by having the hecklers ejected from the room.

    Now, not only would I like to applaud Bill's actions, I would also like to applaud his restraint at not getting up and ejecting them himself. I think he carried himself well under stressful circumstances. If someone had come into my house and behaved that way, believe me, I would've been far less restrained and polite.

    First off, to all the nut jobs out there claiming 1st amendment outrage at this. This is not an issue of freedom of speech, they were not in a public place, they were guests on private property. When you are an audience member it is a perfectly reasonable limitation for the host and the staff of the show to expect you to be able to behave with at least the maturity of a 12 year old.

    A good comparison would be that in an office building you are not allowed to come to work looking disheveled or dressing like a rap singer. You are expected to be in a suit and tie. This also is not a limitation on freedom of expression, it is an understanding that in certain places, certain dress and behavior is required. And that if you cannot comply with that you are not allowed on the property. Something most learn in grade school.

    I am a Canadian, and in our Constitution, it states that no freedom is absolute, that there has to be common sense limitations, such as hate speech, or when one person's freedoms threaten to curtail another person's freedoms or those of group of people.

    Now if that logic is too much for you, let me put this another way. If your trying to get your issue out to the public and make a statement, doesn't it serve you best if you do it in a way that makes people take you seriously?

    When you heckle someone and behave like a poster child for Attention Deficit Disorder, this only detracts from you, your issue and the other people who share your beliefs. Your not making people listen to you, your making people think you should be fitted for a helmet and ride home on the special bus.

    Your humiliating yourself, your making yourself a walking mockery. Your not making people laugh with you or at you as these hecklers demonstrated, your making them look at you with disgust, as Bill's panel demonstrated by their reaction. And your actually giving more credibility to the other side of your issue and making the people who don't agree with you feel better about themselves, because they don't behave like you.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • During the show, Maher kicked out many 9/11 conspiracy hecklers, who disturbing the conversation between the guests. On numerous of occasions, he has criticized the 9/11 conspiracies.

  • QUOTES (4)

    • Bill Maher: New Rule: I don't want to fly on a bus. [slide of Airbus jet] That's why people pay more money to fly! So they don't have to take a bus. And I don't care that it's huge, because I've never once gotten on a flight and thought, boy, I wish there were more people on this plane.

      New Rule: If your brain is as little as Donald Trump's, and your ass is as wide--you shouldn't call your book, Think Big and Kick Ass. It's like Rush Limbaugh writing a book called Be Polite and Don't Make Shit Up.

      New Rule: Don't pretend we have a defense against aliens. When a child asked Rudy Giuliani what would happen if aliens attacked, he said, "We'll be prepared for that." And then he announced the latest member of his foreign policy team: ALF. You know, Rudy, I know you want to be the big protector, but we have enough trouble with the Sunnis, let alone the Klingons. Unless we get really lucky, and the one substance that can kill them is high-fructose corn syrup.

      Oh, and by the way, we've already been invaded by aliens. Surely, you've seen them with their large heads, giant eyes and skinny bodies. I mean, they're everywhere. [slide of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and two other female celebrities all wearing oversized sunglasses]

      New Rule: Stop pretending that air fresheners actually freshen the air. Americans are a paradox. We're the nation most obsessed with smelling pleasant, while at the same time, we eat crap that makes our bodies emit clouds of toxic gas. Here's a hint. When you fart and your canary dies, you have a problem that's beyond the capabilities of the Airwick Corporation.

      And finally, New Rule: If the choice in '08 is between Rudy and Hillary, "values voters" must do the Christian thing and choose Hillary. Of course, I think all religion is nuts, but at least she practices it the way Jesus suggested: privately. Like a Dick Cheney energy meeting.

      Plus, she's raised an admirable daughter, while Rudy's kids couldn't hate him more if they were New York City firefighters.

      And let's not forget, Hillary didn't commit adultery. Her husband did. And afterwards, she did the Christian thing and forgave him. And then she had a GPS unit implanted in his penis. But the important thing is, she forgave him!

      Now, I bring all this up because this weekend in Washington is the "Values Voters Convention." Three days of peace, love and hypocrisy. Where the Republican frontrunners will spend the week kissing the asses of 2,000 social conservatives who despise liberals, homosexuals, Muslims, Mexicans and Nobel Prize winners. And who believe the sound of a condom wrapper being opened makes angels die.

      It's kind of like a "Star Trek" convention, only the virgins are angry--and they think outer space is just a theory. So, Ann Coulter, if you've got any more "f@ggot" jokes, this is the room for you.

      But - but, here's something I learned while indulging one of my traditional values, reading. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the states with the most conservative Christians have the highest rates of divorce, the highest teen pregnancy rates and the highest obesity levels. Yes, they're fat, knocked up and not talking to each other--but, at least they put homosexuality back where it belongs: in the airport men's room.

      Now, I know what you "values voters" are saying right now: "Why would we listen to you, Bill Maher? You're a bachelor from heathen California. What do you know about family values?" Well, I know enough not to get married and live in Kansas.

      And I know that if you can look at the war in Iraq, the melting environments and the descent of America into "idiocracy," and still think our biggest problems are boobies during the Super Bowl and the "war on Christmas," then you don't have values, you have issues.

      If you had "values," you'd draw the line at torture. But a startling number of people who call themselves Christians don't. And I'm pretty sure if you asked, "What would Jesus veto," it wouldn't be health care for sick kids.

      Why, it's almost like "values voters" don't really believe Jesus was right about anything. [in mock attack ad voice] "Jesus Christ: wrong on gays, wrong on taxes, wrong on torture, and wrong for America."

    • Sheila Jackson Lee: I want to call a military success. I want to thank the soldiers for the job they've done. They completed their mission, and I want them to come home with ribbons and banners and I want to celebrate. We're not cutting and running. We're acknowledging that the soldiers did their job, the military job. You know, the basic job. They went into Iraq. They got rid of Saddam Hussein, and he went off in the sunset. But, the point is, is that they did their jobs and the political folk have got to find a resolution. The Iraqis got to find a solution. The leadership of Iraq has to find a solution. But the soldiers need to come home.

    • Bill Maher: It's fighting the last war. You know, for the Republican side who are so fond of their candidates because they're the ones who are going to protect us, the idea that you use an army against an enemy that doesn't have an army is not liberal or conservative. It's just stupid.

    • John Edwards: It's very troublesome. I mean, you've got Bush and Cheney rattling their saber about Iran. It sounds very similar to what we heard on Iraq. And they want to declare the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization. Some good people who are running for president: Senator Biden, Senator Dodd, voted no. Senator Clinton voted yes. I strongly disagree with it. I think we can't give this president an inch when it comes to something like war.

  • NOTES (0)