Vessel: a cattle prod
Sock: All right, look, it's not a problem. We hop in the car right now, drive 90 the whole way there, we'll be there in two days tops. Unless we go to Sea World...
Sam: Wait, um, so where did we land on the whole "telling Andi I'm the Devil's son" thing?
Sock: Oh, I think we decided she was going to be shocked, then confused, then she'd probably stab you in the face.
Sam: I wrote you this letter but Sock forgot to mail it.
Andi: You gave Sock... a letter? To mail?
Sam: Well, yeah.
Andi: Okay, well let me ask you this. If there was an emergency, lets say, a life-or-death situation, would you call Sock?
Sam: Probably not.
Andi: Say you wanted somebody to make you a piece of toast. Would you call Sock?
Sam: I would not, no.
Ben: My crimper! I thought I lost it. (Sock stares) Yeah, I use a crimper sometimes, okay? It adds to my mystique.
Devil: Would you look at that? The Prodigal Son returns. I'm just kidding. I knew the real Prodigal Son, you know. The dude was an ass. Super needy.
Sock: You got to check this guy out. Look, look. "Cobrasnake." He used to gouge his enemies' eyes out and then set them on fire.
Sock: Sweet mother. I wish my nickname was "Cobrasnake."
Sock: She is so hot.
Sock: Shut your mouth. That is my sister. I've got dibs.
Devil: I just wanted to tell you that your pentagram is a Star of David. Mazel tov!
Devil: Holy crap, where did you get this book? "The Devil is attracted to radishes." What does that mean? Like sexually? That's disgusting.
Sock: We may not have gone to college, boys, but we can certainly cram like people who did. Bottoms up.
Sock: Oh, got it, got it got it got it. We drive a train through the front of the warehouse, capture all the souls in the rubble.
Sam: Yeah, umm, I don't think there's train tracks going through the warehouse, but, but, but good try.
Ben: Guys, this is wrong. It's stealing.
Sam: Sometimes in order to do something good, you have to do something bad first.
Sock: I want you to keep that in mind when I eventually make love to your mother.
Sam: Our beer mascot is a baby. Isn't that sort of dumb?
Ben: No, that's not, it's not a baby. It's a leprechaun.
Sock: Where's his hat?
Ben: Well, he took it off, it's impolite to have it on when he's drinking.
Sam: Why is he wearing a bib?
Ben: Okay, it's a baby. Sheesh. It's all I know how to draw. Are you happy now?
Sock: Very. Thank you for that.
Sam: You think this is going to hold?
Ben: I was a Cub Scout, Sam. I excelled at knot-tying.
Sock: Didn't they kick you out of Cub Scouts?
Ben: It was a very political organization.
Ben: Oh my god. This Bentō box Kristen made is so delicious. What's in it?
Sock: Hmm? Oh, that's, uh, chicken, tapioca, and pickles.
Ben: You have no idea what's in this, do you?
Sock: I didn't even know it was food, Benjy.
Devil: I think I was wrong about you, Sam. You're not a dud at all. You don't even know what you're capable of. What evil will come your way, what terrible things you will do at my bidding. I look forward to a long and fruitful relationship, Sammy. So you go ahead and enjoy your life while you can. Because one of these days, you're mine.
Sam: You have a good night too.
Devil: Ahhh. Just for that I'm going to make it rain.
Andrew Airlie is credited but doesn't appear.
Germany: April 6, 2009 on FOX
Norway: May 9, 2009 on TVNorge
Latin America: July 3, 2009 on Universal Channel
Czech Republic: November 7, 2009 on AXN
Australia: July 7, 2010 on 7TWO
As of season 2, Valarie Rae Miller is no longer credited as a regular.
Constructive Summer (The Hold Steady)
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies (Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky)
You're the Best (Joe Esposito)
This is a reference to the first movie in Star Wars saga. Release in 1977 the original name was just Star Wars but afterward was renamed to Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.