Reaper Season 1 Episode 3

Sam: You stole mail?
Sock: Yeah.
Ben: Sock, that's a felony.
Sock: Well, come on now, there's a fine line between committing a felony and doing something really cool.
Ben: That's true.

Sock: The password is "Grumpy."
Sam: I don't want to know.
Sock: The cat that we had, you sicko. (pause) No, I'm kidding, it's totally a name for my junk.

Sock: No, I am grown up, Jose. I can drink, and I can vote.
Josie: When the hell have you ever voted?
Sock: Unimportant.

Sock: I'm, ummm, ummm Bert Wysocki, but everyone just calls me "Sock." I think it's because I fit like a glove, you know?

Josie: You are leaching off your mom, and you are actually defending it.
Sock: She's a mom, Josie, she likes it. It's awesome for her.

Sock: What do we do?
Sam: I don't know. I left the vessel at the Bench.
Sock: What?
Sam: We were getting food. I didn't think we'd need it.
Ben: That's not exactly management thinking, is it, Sam?

Sam: Give me the vessel.
Devil: No, no, no, no. I do not like this tone at all. What's the problem?
Sam: Ted wants to promote me to assistant manager of the plumbing department.
Devil: Promotion? Well, congratulations! Make sure you get the 401(k).
Sam: No, no, don't congratulate me. He's saying that I'm going to spend the rest of my life here at the Work Bench.
Devil: You know, I don't get you, Sammy. You don't want to work here at this place, you don't want to work for me. What exactly do you want?
Sam: Just something that doesn't suck.
Devil: Well, one of these days, maybe you'll come up with a little better plan than that, huh?

Sam: Give me a bite of that. No, no, I need you to feed it to me.
Sock: What?
Sam: I'm starving, okay? Everything I put in my mouth ends up covered in bugs.
Sock: Oh nice. So bugs, huh? You think that's the work of, uh, El Diablo?
Sam: It must be. Time to collect a soul that's escaped from Hell. I just wish the Devil would do it in a less disgusting way.

Ben: I want a salad.
Sock: Uh, no. Sorry, I'm not going to order you a salad. That's a chick order.
Ben: I want a salad.
Sock: You're not getting a salad.
Ben: We always do this.
Sock: Do what? Do what?
Ben: Do this.
Sock: What? You always order a salad? I don't know. You're getting the chicken midgets!
Ben: Fine.
Sock: And a side salad, okay? You can have a side salad.
Ben: Thank you. Appreciate it.

Sam: Sock, bees are not nesting in your crotch.

Ben: Everything seems normal. No weird bug fetishes, no Satanic magazine subscriptions.