Reaper Season 2 Episode 12

Ben: Sock and I usually give each other haircuts.
Sock: Usually? Did you say usually, Ben? Usually? Lest you forget that we have been cutting each other's hair for six years, Ben. Six long, wonderful, funky-fresh years of bowl cuts and corn rows and fades and high tights and many, many, many more. You name it. And then I come home to this, so yeah, yeah, something's wrong.
Ben: Man, you need a girlfriend.

Sam: Is he dead?
Devil: Well, that poor bastard just dropped 59 floors. Nah, he's probably fine.

Devil: My tailor died.
Sam: Oh, well, I'm sorry.
Devil: Eighty-one years I was with Lou. He knew how to make a suit drip off a man. Sweet Louie. I'm going to need some new blood, pronto.
Sam: Don't you always wear the same suit?
Devil: I change three times a day, kiddo. This is my afternoon suit.

Sam: What the hell was that?!?
Devil: Oh, that is a portal to the home office.
Sam: That's a portal to Hell?
Devil: No, it's a portal to Secaucus.

Nina: Okay, look. I was really wild when I lived there, okay? And I don't want to slip back into some old , negative habits, like maiming and torturing and impaling. Oh, my God, you guys, it's like spring break! If you're a demon.
Ben: But you're different now, right?
Nina: Absolutely. In theory. The thing is, I've done a lot of personal development and detoxing in order to stop craving the sounds of people in agony.
Ben: She's more of a Stevie Wonder fan now.

Ben: Now my first idea combines a hotel and a retail mall, all underwater. I give you Bentopia.
Sam: Why is it underwater?
Ben: Ah, 360 degree ocean views, man.
Sam: It's... right. Okay. Do you have anything that isn't underwater.
Ben: I'm sorry, I think they all are.

Randall: I'm impressed.
Sam: I would never... what?
Randall: I have seen some ruthless stunts in my days. Not many capital offenses, though. Even the best business schools don't breed that kind of bloodlust.
Sam: Thank you?
Randall: Sam Oliver, you are the total package. guts, determination, sociopathic tendencies. Welcome to the executive ranks, my friend.

Ben: As soon as you get back, I'm going to draw you a nice bath and give you a long-ass foot massage.
Nina: You will? That sounds amazing. Maybe you could get in the bath with me!
Ben: Honey, I would, but it's a one-person tub, and I don't want to cramp you in there.
Nina: I wouldn't mind.
Ben: I know, but then there's the issue of dirty bathwater, and if we're both in there then we're only semi-clean and nobody wants that..
Nina: Yeah, you're right. Oh, maybe we could take a shower together. That eliminates the dirty water scenario.
Ben: Yeah, that's a great idea, shower. Well, there's just one caveat, baby? I don't like to stand when I'm naked.
Nina: You sit in the shower, babe?
Ben: Well, I sit or squat, yeah.
Nina: Okay. Then when I get back, we'll squat in the shower together.
Ben: Okay. What, you've never said goodbye to your girlfriend before?