Reba Season 5 Episode 8

Reba (to Van & Cheyenne): All right. Listen to me, both of you. I'm going to tell you the secret to a long marriage.
Van: You? Well forgive me, Mrs. H. I find that slightly ironic.
Reba: I thought you might say that. I am the person to learn this from. See, Brock & I had to learn this the hard way, people change, they grow. But if the people grow and the marriage doesn't that's when you sprout a Barbra Jean.
Cheyenne: Mom, it's so cool that the tragedy that is your life can help others.
Reba: Right back at ya.

Van (sarcastically): Oh look Mrs. H. It's Mother Theresa, with lip gloss.
Cheyenne (just as sarcastic): Clever, Van. Just for your information, Mother Theresa knew nothing about make-up.
Van: Oh really? What a loser!

Barbra Jean: I thought justice was blind?
Judge: Yeah, it's not deaf.

Director (talking about the elderly ladies): Cheyenne has been giving them makeovers, from top to saggy bottom.

Reba (to Brock): Where's Barbra Jean? Oh don't tell me, the Circus came back and recaptured her.

Jake (enters the room in his p.j.s and hands a thermometer to Reba): Mom, I can't go to school, I'm sick.
Reba (reads thermometer): Oh, honey. Wow! 120, yeah that's high.
Van: It sounds serious. We better double check. Okay Jake, bend over, come on bend over.
Jake: I'm going to school!