Red Dwarf

Season 1 Episode 5

Confidence and Paranoia

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Mar 14, 1988 on BBC Two

Episode Recap

Drive Room: Lister is apparently a fan of low-grade romance movies, as he's watching one on one of the drive screens while munching popcorn and drinking a... Oh, Lordy!... beer milkshake. Holly interrupts the movie at a "crucial" moment, and asks him if he's bored. Lister says no, and shoos him away. A few moments later, Holly interrupts him again, complains that he's bored because he's read everything ever written. Lister isn't really all that interested, but Holly's sort of intruding, and he finally asks Holly if he wants something, which he does -- he wants Lister to erase a part of his memory, specifically, the novels of Agatha Christie so that he can reread them again. Lister does so, then Holly and Lister get to snarking about what just happened, since he now doesn't remember any of it. Lister leaves.

Bunk Room: Lister is back to watching the cheezy romance, when Rimmer marches in and summarily turns the movie off. He brags about his day's accomplishments, and taunts Lister about being useful. Lister notes that he's been to the Officer's block. Rimmer remarks, alarmed, that it hadn't been decontaminated yet. Lister says it was on Rimmer's last Thursday's "to do" list. Rimmer indicates that, unfortunately, he still hadn't gotten around to it. Lister complains about the lack of information. Rimmer then asks what he was doing there, to which Lister replies that he was looking through Kochanski's things. A snarkfest ensues in which Lister accuses Rimmer of, basically, being a dateless dweeb. Rimmer denies this, referring to Yvonne MacGruder (she'll be relevant in several episodes in season 2). Lister questions Rimmer's romantic side, Rimmer responds cynically.

Bunk Room, later: Lister wakes up, sick as a dog. He wakes up Rimmer, indicates he is headed to the Sick Bay.

Corridor: Lister stumbles, faints, falls to the floor in the corridor.

Another Corridor: Cat is dancing around with a spray bottle, shpritzing everything in sight (walls, pipes, anything) and going "This is mine", to each item as he walks down the hallway.

Lister's Corridor: Cat dances in, continuing to spray everything in site, sees Lister, dances over to him, wrapped up in his activities and not thinking about why Lister is there. Sprays Lister, dances onward. Holly's voice starts indicating there is an Emergency, and summoning Rimmer to the corridor where Lister lies unconscious.

Dining Room: Cat saunters up to a food dispenser, and demands food from it. It provides him with a chicken merengo. Cat takes the food over to a table and starts to play with it, tossing the dead piece of chicken around as though it were trying to escape him. Rimmer runs into the room, seeking Cat's help with the unconscious Lister (Rimmer's an immaterial hologram, remember?), Cat gets up as if to follow as Rimmer runs out, then sits back down. Rimmer runs back in, calls to him to come on, and the scene repeats. Rimmer runs back in again and tries to grasp why Cat is still seated. Cat is not happy with the idea of interrupting his lunch to go help Lister. Rimmer gives up, seeks help from the skutters.

Sick Bay: Lister is sitting in a wheelchair, barely conscious. Rimmer is directing one of the skutters to insert a thermometer into his mouth, with limited success. Lister says he's fine, he just had pneumonia. Rimmer says it was pneumonia 3 million years ago, but, like Cat, it has mutated. the discussion turns to Kochanski, and Rimmer once more expresses his cynicism. Lister, the optimist, says she might have said yes, that stranger things have happened. Riimer replies with: "Only two spring to mind, Lister: the spontaneous combustion of the Mayor of Warsaw in 1546 and that incident in 12th century Burgundy when it rained herring." Lister discusses a friend's theory that you have two people inside you, your confidence and your paranoia, and they are constantly fighting inside you. Lister wants to go back to bed, so off they go.

Bunk Room: Lister is lying there, dreaming (nightmaring?), muttering in his sleep as Rimmer does "Aerobics for the dead" Lister mutters "It's raining, it's raining..." Suddenly something plops from the cieling. Then another one. Rimmer looks up, and sees herring begin to drop from the ceiling. He backs out of the room into the corridor.

Corridor: Rimmer is backing out of the room. There are no fish falling in the corridor. Rimmer asks Holly what is going on. He has no clue. A fat man clad in 16th century clothes (clearly, the mayor of Warsaw) steps up next to Rimmer and there is a sudden flash as he spontaneously combusts and leaves a pile of clothes.

Bunk Room. Cat walks in, gives Lister (Lister looks and acts as though feeling much better) some presents of food . Unfortunately, he has eaten the food and it's just the inedible remnants. Rimmer walks in, insults Cat, who leaves. Rimmer tells Lister about the events when he was sick. This now includes two men in the Drive Room, who appear to be Lister's Confidence and his Paranoia.

Drive Room: Lister and Rimmer walk in, seeing two men, one a large, burly salesman type, and the other a mousy milquetoast with greasy hair. Confidence walks up and starts complimenting Lister, while Paranoia starts asking fearful little questions about him. There ensues a four-way snarkfest with Confidence bolstering Lister and Paranoia both denigrating him and complimenting Rimmer. Confidence and Lister leave the room to party over Rimmer's and Paranoia's objections.

Bunk Room: Lister sits there strumming on his guitar and singing, both poorly, as Confidence butters him up. Lister tries to be modest, but Confidence is having none of it. The subject of Kochansky comes up, and Confidence encourages Lister to go find her personality disk so she can become a hologram

Drive Room: Rimmer and Paranoia have hit it off, as Paranoia feeds him dirt on Lister's flaws. weaknesses, and errors. A skutter rolls up behind Paranoia armed with a syringe. Rimmer, clearly "in on it", tells the skutter to stab him. The skutter just sits there. Lister and Confidence enter the room. Lister expresses the notion that he thinks the ship can handle two holograms if they turn off nonessential systems, allowing him to bring Kochansky on board without turning off Rimmer. Rimmer still resists, while Confidence is helping sell the idea. Rimmer refuses to reveal where Kochanski's disk is. Confidence encourages Lister to think, to figure out where Rimmer would put them. He works it through, and actually does.

Sick Bay: Rimmer walks in, the autodoc is smashed and smoking.

Drive Room: Lister is standing there with Confidence, both in space suits, with helmet in his hand, waiting to go outside to retrieve the disks. Rimmer walks in, points out that someone smashed the autodoc. Asks why they would do it (i.e, Confidence and/or Paranoia). Rimmer suggests that Lister is still sick, the two know it, and are afraid of him getting healthy and making them disappear. Lister blows him off, and goes outside with Confidence. Rimmer asks Holly where Paranoia is. Holly says he's no longer on the ship.

Ext. Red Dwarf, on Catwalk: Lister and Confidence are moving towards where the disks are hidden. Confidence fesses up to having both smashed the autodoc and also to having eliminated Paranoia. Confidence, more and more, is becoming Hubris, and suggests that Lister can take off his helmet, "Oxygen is for losers". Lister refuses, avoids him. Confidence tries to convince him that he can take off his helmet, offers to do so first, begins, as Lister tries to stop him. Confidence explodes when exposed to vacuum.

Bunk Room. Cat is cleaning his clothes -- by licking them. Rimmer expresses disgust. Lister walks in, Rimmer lords over him about his being right. He warns Lister that the disk can only bring him misery, and he's right in this as well. Lister says he's doing it anyway.

Holo Suite: Lister is standing there, with the disk in his hand, trying to figure out what to say to Kochansky when she appears. Rimmer and Cat walk in. Rimmer wishes him good luck, as Lister inserts the disk.

Another hologram of Rimmer appears. Rimmer taunts Lister about being too smart to put Kochansky's disk in Kochansky's box, and welcomes the second Rimmer aboard....

Titles roll...