Red Dwarf

Thursday 9:00 PM on BBC Two Premiered Feb 15, 1988 In Season




Episode Guide

    • Quarantine
      Season 5 - Episode 4
      The crew are on a snowbound planet, when they come across an abandoned research center. Rimmer objects to Kryten being in charge but is ignored by the others and goes off to sulk.
      They send a scouter which reports that there is a scientist named Dr. Lanstrom inside the facility. Unfortunately she is a hologram -- Kryten forces Rimmer to go back to Red Dwarf so that they can rescue her, and invokes another Space Corp Directive against him to force him to comply. Rimmer questions the validity of the Directives that Kryten used so Holly gives Rimmer a hologram-copy of the directives manual, whereupon Rimmer again goes off to sulk.
      Going into the research center, they find the Doctor in stasis only to discover that she has contracted a holovirus that has driven her insane, but has given her extraordinary powers like hex vision and telekinesis. They escape when her life force is drained and she disappears, but the holodisease infects Rimmer.
      When the rest of the crew get back on Red Dwarf, Rimmer forces them to stay in quarantine (to prevent his getting the disease off them) but he is already infected, and so goes insane, locking them in without oxygen. The crew escape thanks to a 'luck' virus which Kryten got from the facility.
      Rimmer chases them down the corridor with his hex vision and, thanks to the luck virus injected into Lister, Kryten manages to turn Rimmer off and restore him to his previous, uninfected and sane (if dull) self.....

      Rimmer wakes up in quarantine, only to discover that the other three have now contracted the virus and gone insane...moreless
    • Krysis
      Season 11 - Episode 5

      Kryten finds himself going through a mid-life crisis.

    • Back To Reality
      Season 5 - Episode 6
      The crew investigate an alien vessel and are exposed to a hallucinogenic substance which induces extreme dispair. They wake up to find that they have been playing a computer game, called "Red Dwarf", and that Lister is actually a rich and successful businessman, Rimmer his ne'er do-well brother, Kryten is a cop, and Cat is actually the most uncool nerd in human history. Lister finds out, to his dismay, that he also is the chief of an organization which institutes mass murders to "purify democracy". Kryten inadvertently kills a cop while trying to protect a girl, they run from it, and are chased by the police. Holly's voice, meanwhile, is heard advising them that they are hallucinating, but they ignore it. Deciding that their lives are wretched and unacceptable, they each decide to commit suicide. Holly, meanwhile, induces Kryten to open a cannister of Lithium Carbonate (a mood stabilizer) thinking it is a fire extinguisher. They come to their senses just in time, and head back for the Red Dwarf.moreless
    • Give and Take
      Season 11 - Episode 3

      An encounter with a deranged medical droid leaves Lister without any kidneys... and the Cat is the only possible donor.

    • Polymorph
      Season 3 - Episode 3
      A pod arrives aboard Red Dwarf containing a genetic mutant which can change itself into any shape whatsoever. It appears to Lister in it's true form, bringing him to the height of his terror, and then sucking his fear right out of him. While they are searching for it, Cat is chased by his own heat-seeking bazookoid balls, and eventually manages evade them and lock them in a room. The Polymorph gets the Cat and takes away his vanity by appearing as a beautiful woman and flattering him. It then appears as Rimmer and blames Kryten for the Cat being attacked, thereby taking away Kryten's guilt. Later, when the three get back it appears as Rimmer's mother, pretending to have slept with Lister, angering Rimmer so much that it feeds off him also.. .

      The gang now have very different personalities: we have Rimmer, a "wannabe" hippy, (T-shirt saying "Give quiche a chance"), Lister with nerves of steel and willing to sacrifice his life to kill it, Kryten with no sense of loyalty or guilt, and the Cat, a bum. They continue their search for the Polymorph and suddenly it comes up and attacks from behind. Luckily, an automatic door opens, releasing the bazookoid balls that were chasing the cat. The crew duck and the polymorph is destroyed. All the crew get their emotions back and they are free from the polymorph. Or so it may seem...moreless
    • Gunmen of the Apocalypse
      Season 6 - Episode 3
      The gang is attacked by a simulant ship, who upgrade Starbug with laser cannons and defensive shields and then force them to play a game of 'cat and mouse'. The crew elect instead not to flee but to stay and fight which stuns the simulants. Before their ship is crippled by Starbug's new offensive weapons, the simulants upload a killer virus into the navicomp. Kryten then transfers the virus to his CPU in an attempt to diffuse it. The gang watch on a virtual reality screen as Kryten's search for an antidote is manifested as a western setting where Kryten is a sheriff who has to fight the four horsemen of the Apocalypse - Death, War, Pestilence and Famine.moreless
    • Backwards
      Season 3 - Episode 1
      The episode opens with 'Star Wars' style text explaining how Lister gave birth to twin boys that were returned to the other dimension, Holly has endured a breakdown which has caused him to become like his female counterpart from that universe, and that Kryten has returned and become part of the crew.

      While Lister and Cat discuss the sexiness of Wilma Flintstone, Rimmer gives Kryten a space piloting exam in order for them to become more independent. They accidentally pass through a time hole and appear on Earth in modern times, but where everything is running in reverse order. While waiting for Lister and Cat to find them, they get work as a novelty act in a pub, showing off their 'forwards' acting capabilities. Lister and Cat finally track them down but by then Rimmer and Kryten don't want to leave, observing that the world makes more sense backwards, and list off several things like death and war. They are soon unfired for causing a pub brawl and then proceed to undo the results of the fight. At the ship, before leaving, Cat discovers one more unfortunate aspect of doing things backwards.moreless
    • Officer Rimmer
      Season 11 - Episode 4

      Rimmer finally sees himself promoted to officer rank, and wastes no time lording his new position over the rest of the crew.

    • Samsara
      Season 11 - Episode 2

      The Dwarfers investigate a crashed space station, which holds a surprising secret.

    • Legion
      Season 6 - Episode 2
      Chasing the vapour trail of Red Dwarf into a gas nebula, Starbug is taken over by a tractor beam which takes it to a space station. There the crew discover Legion, a highly intelligent, sophisticated and cultured lifeform conceived out of an experiment by a group of famous scientists. It is Legion who gives Rimmer a new hardlight holo-projection unit, enabling him to become a normal human, able to touch, feel, eat, and experience pain. He also becomes virtually indestructible. They learn that Legion is composed from the minds of each member of the crew, combined and magnified, and as such they are sustaining his very existence with their presence. Legion will not allow them to leave and continue the search for Red Dwarf...moreless
    • Can of Worms
      Season 11 - Episode 6

      The Cat falls head over heels in love... but the object of his affections is not what she seems.

    • Queeg
      Season 2 - Episode 5
      Holly shows the first signs of computer senility and endangers Lister's life, which activates the back up computer. After an exposure to how much more effective the new computer, Queeg, is, the team rally around the new computer Queeg, but soon realise that he is aptly named. Like the original Queeg, he is a maniacal beast who demands order and demands that the ship's regulations be followed to the letter. After forcing Lister and Cat to work for their food and taking control of Rimmer's body for a regimen of exercises, the gang begin to appreciate Holly once more and set about devising a way to rid the ship of Queeg.moreless
    • Out Of Time
      Season 6 - Episode 6
      The crew encounter a cloud of fog from an imploded supernova and have no choice but to go through it. After passing through "unreality pockets", they decide to go into stasis until they get through the fog. In the center of the fog they find a Space Corps derelict which also has a time drive, which they hook up to Starbug's engines. They find they can travel to any time in history, but they are still in deep space, no closer to Earth than they were before. Returning to their own time, they find a future version of themselves. They find out that their future selves have gotten twisted and evil. The evil version of the crew decides to kill them all, rather than to lose, so they battle each other for survival of the good or death of them all.moreless
    • Marooned
      Season 3 - Episode 2
      The crew evacuate the ship after Holly spots five black holes in the distance. Rimmer and Lister leave together in Starbug but hit a meteor and crash on a snow planet with no way to escape. With little food and heat, Lister begins to open up to Rimmer to try and take his mind off the situation, including talking about Rimmer's fascination with war and when they both lost their virginities. Soon the fire dies down and the only thing left to burn is Lister's guitar and Rimmer's priceless camphorwood chest. Lister makes him think that he will burn the guitar but instead cuts a guitar-shaped hole in the back of the chest and burns that. However, his smugness turns to guilt when Rimmer says that the chest belonged to his father and is worth more to him than life. When Kryten and Cat finally find them, Lister grabs his guitar and hightails it before Rimmer can realise what he did.moreless
    • Blue
      Season 7 - Episode 5
      While Kochanski is still trying to get back to her dimension and Kryten is still jealous of the relationship that she could have with Lister; Lister begins to miss Rimmer and reflects on some of the fun times that he and Rimmer spent together in the early days after the accident. When he has a dream that Rimmer returns and he and Rimmer kiss, Kryten tries some psychology to get to the bottom of Lister's problem. However Kochanski has a little talk with Lister and makes him realise why he misses Rimmer, much to Kryten's disgust. Kryten, having to be one step better than Kochanski, creates "The Rimmer Experience" a virtual reality rollercoaster created from Rimmer's memories, depicting him thinking of himself as a 'Hero' and a 'Remarkable Person', giving Cat fashion tips and believing that Lister has called for Rimmer to save him before he wets himself. As the ride finishes Lister is so angry at Rimmer that Kryten sticks it to Kochanski because his method worked better than hers.moreless
    • Better Than Life
      Season 2 - Episode 2
      A mail pod arrives at the Red Dwarf and Rimmer receives the belated news that his father has passed away. Despite the fact that Rimmer hated his father, he is nonetheless completely devastated.
      To alleviate his depression regarding the news (not to mention the fact that he has a $8,500 tax bill), the crew try a distraction in the form of a new Virtual Reality game where all the players' desires and fantasies can come true, but even in a perfect place, Rimmer's mind has its own way of stabbing him in the back.moreless
    • The Beginning
      Season 10 - Episode 6

      Hiding in an Asteroid, surrounded by a Simulant Death Ship and a fleet of Annihilators, the Dwarfers begin to wonder whether this is the beginning of the end. Only one man can save them. Unfortunately that man is Arnold J. Rimmer.

    • Emohawk - Polymorph II
      Season 6 - Episode 4
      A Space Corps Law Enforcement Vessel chases Starbug and the crew make a crash landing on a GELF planet. They go in search of a vital ship part and come across a village who have the part but the price is for Lister to marry the chief's daughter. Lister reluctantly does so but, on his wedding night, sneaks back to Starbug. The chief takes this as an insult and sets his pet Emohawk, a smaller polymorph (see ep 3x3 - Polymorph) on them. The Emohawk hides on Starbug and attacks Rimmer and Cat, taking Rimmer's bitterness and the Cat's coolness, turning them into Ace Rimmer (see ep 4x5 - Dimension Jump) and Dwayne Dibbley (see ep 5x6 - Back to Reality).
      Ace decides to save the day and locks Kryten and Lister in the hold, where they will be safe, while he and Dwayne go after the Emohawk. They eventually track it down, capture it and return themselves to normal.moreless
    • Meltdown
      Season 4 - Episode 6
      Kryten uses a prototype "matter paddle" to teleport the crew to a nearby planet with an S3 (or Earth-like) atmosphere. They discover the planet has been visited by humans years previously, who populated the planet with "wax droids" - animated wax works of famous characters from Earth's history including Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Gandhi, Winnie the Pooh, Mother Teresa and Elvis Presley.moreless
    • Stoke Me A Clipper
      Season 7 - Episode 2
      After travelling through countless realities, Commander 'Ace' Rimmer returns to the Red Dwarf crew to ask a favor of his alternate self. It seems that the real Ace Rimmer died years ago and has been replaced many times over by his counterpart from each reality. This Ace Rimmer will soon die and asks our Rimmer to be his successor as an inter-galactic hero. After a little push from Lister, which seems to bring the two closer together, Rimmer decides to accept the offer and begins his training. When Ace dies, Rimmer dons his outfit and says his goodbye to the crew before leaving Starbug.moreless
    • Tikka To Ride
      Season 7 - Episode 1
      With Starbug was destroyed, the future crew no longer existed and thus were unable to go back in time and kill the crew in the present crew. Nonethless, disaster has struck. Starbug is completely devoid of curries. Lister attempts to go back in time to obtain curries from an Indian restaurant. Complications ensue as they become involved in the JFK Assassination.moreless
    • White Hole
      Season 4 - Episode 4
      Kryten attempts to use a technique called 'Intelligence Compression' on Holly -- by reducing her life span, he hopes to restore her I.Q. of 6000.
      Unfortunately he botches it and Holly gets an I.Q. of 12000 but winds up with only 3 minutes of life remaining. She powers down the ship to preserve her lifespan and the crew have to fend for themselves without heat or power. On their way back from collecting supplies, Kryten and Rimmer experience a strange time phenomena in the hallway where time slows down in one part and accelerates in another. Kryten believes that there is a White Hole out in space which has the opposite affect of a Black Hole -- it throws time back into the universe. During their conversation they switch places and repeat things they have already said.
      Rimmer consults Holly about the white hole and she suggests firing a rocket into a nearby sun a causing a solar flare to knock a planet into the hole, rather like playing billiards with the planets. Lister scoffs at her coordinates, saying that he can play better pool than Holly. Rimmer argues with Lister and suggests a vote which Lister wins 3 to 1. Lister prepares for his pool shot by getting drunk but concentrates hard enough to play a trick shot, bouncing 3 planets off each other to throw the last one into the hole.
      As the effects of the white hole wear off, and gang begin to vanish from that part of space, Kryten ends it by delivering an extremely good insult to Rimmer.moreless
    • Holoship
      Season 5 - Episode 1
      The gang watch a sappy love story aboard Starbug and Rimmer is disgusted at how the hero sacrificed his own happiness for his lover. They come across a computer-generated ship, and Rimmer is captured and taken aboard. The Holoship (named 'The Enlightenment') will not answer Starbug's communication attempts on account of them being notoriously arrogant and self-centered. Meanwhile Rimmer is having quite a good time aboard the Holoship: he can touch, feel and taste. Not only that, but it's a ship regulation to have sexual relations at least twice a day with any other crew member.
      He meets a crew member, Commander Nirvanah Crane who gives him a tour of the ship. Upon having sex with her, He falls in love with her and she, even though they have disposed of the concept of 'love' aboard the ship, feels something for him, also.
      Rimmer decides he wants to stay aboard the ship, but the rules do not allow for any new crewmembers. The only way to get on board is to challenge a randomly-selected crew-member. The crew member turns out to be Nirvanah who lets him win on purpose when he tells her of how he always fails at everything and has never really achieved anything in his life.
      Rimmer leaves Red Dwarf to join the Enlightenment's crew but when he finds out that Nirvanah gave up her place for him, he decides to give it back to her and return to Red Dwarf, thereby doing much as the hero in the movie (much to his own disgust).moreless
    • Dimension Jump
      Season 4 - Episode 5
      A young Rimmer is told by his mother that he is in danger of being held back a year in school and it could change his life forever.

      30 years later, Arnold 'Ace' Rimmer, Test Pilot for the Space Corps Special Service, lands his jet safely and greets his friends: Spanners, a Lister who is a Space corps engineer; Padre, a priest who looks like Cat; Bongo, Kryten, but without his mechanoid nature; and Mellie, bearing a striking likeness to Holly.

      Bongo informs Ace of a special space craft that can cross dimensions which Ace immediately volunteers to test fly, even though it means he cannot come back to his own reality.

      Aboard the Red Dwarf Lister, Kryten and Cat try to sneak off to go fishing but accidentally wake up Rimmer and are forced to bring him along. They head off in Starbug where they crash into Ace's spaceship and crash land on the ocean planet. Ace heads down to Starbug and offers his assistance to repair the engine and Rimmer takes an instant dislike to him. Ace and Lister repair the engine and they return to Red Dwarf where Ace again shows off his superiority by operating on Cat's broken leg and then fixing his own broken arm. Rimmer continues to wail on about how much he hates Ace until Ace decides to leave saying that he too cannot stand this other side of himself. He tells Lister of the decision that was made in their childhood and reveals which one of them was left behind in school

      Ace leaves, while Rimmer plays his Hammond Organ Owners Society CD's to the skutters.moreless
    • Me ²
      Season 1 - Episode 6

      Lister gets more than he bargained for when the disk supposedly containing Kochanski's hologram is actually a copy of Rimmer's. The two Rimmers decide to move in together leaving Lister who is all too happy to be rid of them.

    • Justice
      Season 4 - Episode 3
      Lister is in bed with "space mumps" when he hears the news that the gang has brought aboard a cryo-pod from a prison ship which possibly contains a guard named Barbara Bellini.
      Lister inspects the pod and begins the thawing process, which Rimmer objects to, saying that there were two survivors aboard the ship: Ms Bellini and a Simulant prisoner (Simulants are droids who are noted to be murderous and insane). Since it is too late -- they cannot stop the thawing process -- they decide to travel to the prison colony that the ship was heading for.
      They arrive on the space station and walk through a white light which Kryten says is a mind probe to seek out any unpunished criminal activity. Lister gets very edgy and confesses that he had committed some minor crimes as a teenager.
      The justice computer passes his verdict on them: Kryten and Cat get off, Lister does so, but barely. Rimmer, however, is sentenced to 9000 years in prison for the second degree murder of the Red Dwarf's complement of 1167 personnel -- not counting himself or Lister.
      Kryten believes that he can defend Rimmer and reverse the verdict and he fronts up to the justice computer, describing to it all about Rimmer's extreme inadequacy and sheer hopelessness. The computer eventually concedes that Rimmer should not have been held accountable for the deaths and releases him due to incompetence.
      Meanwhile the pod has thawed and the occupant has escaped. It is, of course, the simulant who was inside and he chases them through the colony. Lister finally beats him by using the power of the justice field - whatever crime you commit against someone else, the consequences happen to you. When the simulant fires at Lister, the bullets hit him instead of Lister, when he throws a knife, it comes back and hits him and so forth.
      The gang head back to Red Dwarf with Lister droning on and on about justice and freedom until he falls down a manhole.
      "Thank God for that" remarks Cat.moreless
    • Parallel Universe
      Season 2 - Episode 6
      Holly claims to have invented a faster than light device called the "Holly Hop Drive" which appears to be nothing more than a red box with a stop and start button on it. The crew try and use it, but it doesn't bring them to Earth, it brings them to a strange parallel universe where women are the dominant sex and each of them has a female analogue. While Rimmer is trying to avoid his opposite's voracious sexual demands, Lister seems to be getting on very well with his. Cat's opposite (unfortunately for him) is a dog, and even Holly has an opposite, Hilly. After partying all night long while Holly and Hilly fix the Hop Drive they wake up to find Lister has accidentally slept with his opposite, who tells him that in their universe, the men give birth to the babies. After returning to their own universe, Lister uses a pregnancy test, and much to Rimmer's delight, they learn that Lister is, in fact, pregnant!moreless
    • The Inquisitor
      Season 5 - Episode 2
      The crew are flying along in Starbug when th ship suddenly fails to respond to the controls. Using Lister's body, something announces itself as 'The Inquisitor' and tells them that they will now return to Red Dwarf to face judgement. The Inquisitor as a self-repairing simulant who survived to the end of time, only to find no heaven or afterlife. Building a time machine, it now goes back and forth through time, judging everyone on whether they have lead a worthwhile life, deleting the ones who didn't and replacing them with "the sperm that never got a chance". Aboard Red Dwarf, the inquisition begins. Rimmer and Cat survive the trial because of their shallowness and low standards, but Lister and Kryten both feel they could have made much more of their lives and are removed from history. Just as they are about to be fully erased, another Kryten appears behind The Inquisitor with one of his own time gauntlets and takes him by surprise. Kryten throws them the gauntlet before getting killed by The Inquisitor. When they escape, Rimmer and Cat, due to their "erasure", don't recognise them, and a completely different Lister and Kryten exist. Suddenly The Inquisitor attacks, killing the "new" Lister and Kryten. The rest go to face him and Lister finally destroys The Inquisitor with the old "backfiring time-gauntlet trick" which erases The Inquisitor from history. With The Inquisitor's influence on the time-stream missing, everything returns to normal.moreless
    • Cassandra
      Season 8 - Episode 4
      Rimmer, Lister, Cat, Kryten and Kochanski have been sentenced to two years in 'The Tank' on secretive Floor 13, for stealing a Blue Midget and abusing confidential information during their trial in virtual reality. Lister signs up the gang for the 'Canaries', thinking it is the prison choir and enticed by the list of privileges that go with it. Lister is unaware the 'Canaries' is actually a convict army utilised for reconnaissance on uncharted planets. Their first assignment is to investigate an abandoned spaceship on an ocean planet, where they discover Cassandra, a computer that can predict the future. But it spells bad news for Rimmer, when Cassandra (Geraldine McEwan) predicts that he is going to die.moreless
    • Terrorform
      Season 5 - Episode 3
      Kryten wakes up on a moon surrounded by the remains of a crashed Starbug. He detaches his hand and tells it to return to Red Dwarf and bring back Lister and Cat. Upon his rescue, Kryten tells them that Rimmer was captured while on a psy-moon (a terraforming moon that reshapes itself to mimic a persons' psyche). The crew search for him. The crew find out that Rimmer is hanging in a dungeon about to be tortured by "The Unspeakable One". The crew find the dungeon and drive back The Unspeakable One, saving Rimmer. They try to escape in Starbug, but the ship gets caught in the swamp and begins to sink. They begin to realize that Rimmer's personality is what has created the circumstances, not The Unspeakable One, and they realize they must make Rimmer feel good about himself to weaken The Unspeakable One's power so they can escape.moreless
    • Timeslides
      Season 3 - Episode 5
      Lister declares he is sick of life on Red Dwarf and wishes that he never joined the JMC in the first place. Kryten is developing photos in the photo lab when he discovers that they can move, to which Holly suggests that the developing fluid must have mutated. Kryten shows some moving slides to the crew and Lister finds that he can walk into the projection and really be there, only he cannot move outside the frame of the picture. Lister uses this as his ticket off Red Dwarf by making himself unbelievably rich. He takes a tension sheet (just bubble-wrap packing paper painted red) and goes into a photo of himself at 17 and tells himself to patent the invention. When they return, Lister, Cat and Kryten disappear. (Kryten wasn't rescued and the Cat race never existed) Rimmer cannot bear being on his own and goes to convince Lister to come back. Upon failing that, he goes further back in time to give the invention to himself at boarding school. Lister, Cat and Kryten are returned, although he only succeeded in putting things back the way they were. As a consequence of his actions, Rimmer discovers that he is not a hologram anymore, but is alive. This doesn't last long though, as in his excitement he hits two crates of dynamite and blows himself up.moreless
    • D.N.A.
      Season 4 - Episode 2
      The crew stumble upon a deserted space ship of non-humanoid origin and Rimmer believes it is an alien ship. They go inside and search the ship where Kryten and Rimmer discover the remains of a three-headed creature. They find a wallet on him with human artifacts such as credit cards, license etc., whereupon Kryten suggests that something has changed his physical form.
      Meanwhile, Cat and Lister find a machine with a Star Trek style 'CARRS' computer panel. Cat begins playing with it and accidentally traps Lister in a pink force beam. A deep voice announces that a transmogrification is about to take place. Despite Cat's attempts to get him free, Lister turns into a chicken. Rimmer and Kryten come along and, while Cat is showing what happened to Lister, he traps Kryten in the same beam. He manages to change Lister back to a human, but when he does the same for Kryten, it actually transforms him into a human, rather than just setting him free.
      Back on Red Dwarf, Kryten is delighted with his new-found humanity. However he soon starts to tire of it after talking to his spare heads and realising that he has betrayed his kind, and wants to be changed back. They go back aboard the ship and Holly says she thinks she has the computer all figured out. Rimmer decides it would be best if she tried it on something else first.
      She tries the process on Lister's curry and turns it into a monster by mistake. After being chased all over the ship, Lister decides the only way to defeat it is to turn him into a superhuman. Holly turns him into something like Robocop, but, inadvertently, tiny -- about 1 1/2' tall! Lister eventually defeats the Curry Monster with a can of lager, which, as he knows, is the only thing that can kill a vindaloo.moreless
    • Psirens
      Season 6 - Episode 1
      Two hundred years after investigating the SSS Esperanto, the crew awake from suspended animation aboard Starbug with amnesia, and find that their mothership Red Dwarf is missing. Chasing a faint vapour trail which may lead to their mothership, the crew travel through an asteroid field containing lost and crashed spaceships. The asteroid field is inhabited by "Psirens", genetically engineered creatures that telepathically lure the ship's crew onto the asteroids so that they can suck out their brains.moreless
    • Entangled
      Season 10 - Episode 4

      Lister loses Rimmer in a game of poker to a group of GELFs, and in return gets an unwanted gift: a groinal exploder programmed to detonate in 24-hours unless Lister pays his debts. Meanwhile, Kryten and Cat become quantum entangled and do everything in perfect unison.

    • Rimmerworld
      Season 6 - Episode 5
      The gang come across the simulant ship they nearly destroyed in Gunmen of the Apocalypse and decide to board the ship in order to loot it for supplies despite the fact that it's in such bad shape that a loud sneeze would cause it to fall apart. They find a time and matter transporter on board and take it with them. One of the simulants is still alive and attacks them. Rimmer, always the brave, jumps in an escape pod but when it releases the ship begins to fall apart. The rest of the crew use the transporter to get back to Starbug and track the pod which is heading down to a planet. Unfortunately, the pod goes through a worm hole on the way down, causing Rimmer to shift back in time. When he reaches the planet's surface, Rimmer uses technology from the pod to try and create a woman in his image, but no matter how many times he tries all he can do is clone himself. When Starbug reaches the planet, 600 years have passed for Rimmer, and the Rimmer clones have taken over, banishing the original Rimmer to a dungeon. The others are captured and also thrown in the dungeon because they are 'different'. They find the original Rimmer and use the teleporter to escape but end up on Starbug 2 weeks in the future where they learn that something terrible has happened to Lister.....moreless
    • Thanks For The Memory
      Season 2 - Episode 3
      After partying away to the anniversary of Rimmer's death, Lister and Cat wake up with broken legs, Lister's jigsaw has been completed, four pages have been torn from his diary, the clock is four days ahead and the ship's black box has gone missing. The crew, determined to put the pieces together to find out what happened, go after the black box and discover it in a shallow grave with a gravestone that reads 'To the memory, of the memory of Lisa Yates'. Lister comments that he once dated a girl named Lisa Yates. They view the black box recording and watch as Lister, after hearing Rimmer cry and wail because he has never been loved, pities Rimmer's plight and implants a memory of his own into Rimmer's memory -- the eight months that he dated Lisa Yates. Rimmer wakes with this new memory and believes it to be his. He ponders why he and Lisa broke up, prompting Lister to realize that he was foolish to ever let her go. Rimmer finds out that Lister also dated Lisa and the quandary created forces Lister to tell Rimmer what he did. Rimmer asks that the last four days be erased from everyone's memory and that they bury the black box so none of them will know his . Lister and Cat receive the broken legs when they drop the headstone on themselves. When they get back to the ship, Lister tears the pages from his diary and puts the last piece of the jigsaw into place, closing the cycle of events.moreless
    • Future Echoes
      Season 1 - Episode 2
      Lister and Cat prepare to go into stasis while Red Dwarf goes to light speed until they get back to Earth. Rimmer does not want to be turned off, so he demands to be left on for the journey, even though he will be by himself. Unfortunately they reach light speed 22 hours before they expected and don't get to go into stasis after all.

      While shaving, Lister watches himself accidentally cutting himself in the mirror and Rimmer rushing up behind him, then a few seconds later he does cut himself and yells for Rimmer, but dismisses what he saw in the mirror. Lister goes to the drive room and talks to Rimmer, only Rimmer is enjoying a conversation with an invisible person. Rimmer leaves through one door and immediately returns through another where he has the same conversation with Lister that he had before. Lister tries to tell him about what is happening and Rimmer is convinced when he sees Cat rush past them in the hall but then sees him in the sleeping quarters immediately after. Holly calls them Future Echoes, pieces of the future that they are catching up with as a result of light speed, backed up when Rimmer spots a picture showing Lister holding two babies in his arms.

      Rimmer sees Lister getting killed by an exploding panel in the drive room and doesn't seem to be too concerned about it in front of Lister. Lister goes to face his death, but doesn't get killed. They return to their quarters and see a very old Lister lying in the bunk. The Old Lister tells them that it was Lister's son that Rimmer saw in the drive room and tells Lister to grab his camera and run to the medical bay. Rimmer wonders how Lister fathers two children without a woman on board and Lister responds with "I dunno, but it'll be a lot of fun finding out!"

      The two go to the medical bay and are greeted by Lister, the same age he is now, introducing them to his twin boys, Jim and Bexley......moreless
    • Bodyswap
      Season 3 - Episode 4
      A scutter has gone mad and rerouted the entire ships circuitry and Rimmer and Kryten can't find the self-destruct mechanism but Lister accidentally activates it when he orders a milkshake and chocolate bar from a vending machine. Needing one of the senior officers to deactivate it, Kryten introduces them to a mind-swap, which involves implanting another crew-members brain (via a disc on which all of their brain patterns were kept) into Lister's body. Even though the technique works it does not fool the computer into deactivating the auto-destruct. The count-down finishes, and Lister receives his milkshake and choc bar from the vending machine as there is no bomb on board the ship. Rimmer decides that the brain-switching idea is a good one and he persuades Lister to loan him his body, promising to get him fit. Lister finally agrees and they swap, but Rimmer is too busy being able to eat and drink to care about what he does to Lister's body. Lister forces him to swap back, but with Kryten's unwilling help, Rimmer steals Lister's body during the night and does a runner with Starbug. Lister, Cat and Kryten give chase in Blue Midget, but as they catch up, Rimmer crashes. Back in his own body Lister gives Kryten the third degree, whose guilt chip is in overload. Rimmer walks in with a stunned look and speaks in the Cat's voice. Cat walks in and in Rimmer's voice, promises to give his body back in a few days and starts to gorge himself on a pile of food.moreless
    • Stasis Leak
      Season 2 - Episode 4
      While going through Kochanski's personal things, Lister finds a photograph of the two of them getting married, an event which clearly never happened, Lister gets to thinking about how this picture could exist. Recalling something, he reads Rimmer's diary entries and there finds one describing a time when Rimmer thought he saw his own head pop up through the table and say that (the head) came from the future to save his (Rimmer's) life, which Rimmer himself (in the diary entry) took to be a hallucination.
      Following directions in the diary, the gang head down to deck 16 and, there, find an unnoticed stasis leak, which can be used to transport them back to the past, a short while before the crew all died.
      Because they can't bring anybody back to their time, Lister and Rimmer fight over who they should convince to go into the other stasis booth (Lister himself being sent into the other). Lister wants to save Kochanski and Rimmer obviously wants himself.
      While Rimmer goes back to convince himself, Lister and Cat find Kochanski at a hotel, but she is already married. Kochanski invites them in and Lister discovers.....Himself! A future version from 5 years in the future, who has found another way to go back in time.
      After the meeting, they all return to the past-Rimmer and past-Lister's quarters where the past-Rimmer promptly tells them all to go away.moreless
    • Lemons
      Season 10 - Episode 3

      Marooned in Britain in 23 AD, the Dwarfers need an 8-volt battery to power up their Returner Remote and get home. Remembering a lesson from school Rimmer suggests they make a battery out of lemons but the nearest lemon to Britain in 23 AD is in India 4,000 miles away. They begin their journey, a journey that will ultimately lead them to a meeting with a historical A-List Celebrity that could alter the entire history of civilisation.

    • Red Dwarf: The Movie
      Red Dwarf: The Movie
      Season 9 - Episode 9

      RED DWARF THE MOVIE is set in the distant future where Homo Sapienoids, a fearsome combination of flesh and machine, and the next stage of human evolution, have taken over the solar system and almost wiped out the human race. The only survivors are the crews of long-haul space freighters that left Earth before the conflict began. The Sapienoids send forth fleets of Death Ships to hunt them down. One by one - the human ships fall, until only one remains. Its name - Red Dwarf...

      -Official Tagline

    • Only The Good...
      Season 8 - Episode 8
      An escape pod docks with the Dwarf and is carrying the only survivor of a ship which was attacked by a genetically-engineered corrosive lifeform. Unfortunately, the corrosive material is also on board and begins to eat away at Red Dwarf. Meanwhile Lister tricks Kryten into believing that Kochanski's 'time-of-the-month' is an event to be celebrated and he embarrasses himself in front of her. Plotting revenge, Kryten steals four flagons of illegal alcohol from an inmate and leaves it in Lister and Rimmer's cell just before an inspection. Lister discovers the alcohol and he and Rimmer are forced to drink it before their inspection. They only take one mouthful out of the bottle and are immediately drunk. Meanwhile, the crew learn of the lifeform destroying Red Dwarf and plan to abandon ship, leaving the prisoners aboard to die. The gang figure out a way to combat the lifeform by creating a doorway into an opposite universe and finding the opposite to the corrosive material. Rimmer goes through the doorway first but the machine malfunctions and he is stuck there until the others can fix it. Rimmer finds the formula for the opposite substance and goes back to his reality, but he learns that the ship is rapidly breaking apart and the others are nowhere to be found. He goes to make the formula but realises that it has reverted to the corrosive substance and is useless. He is knocked out and lies on the floor awaiting the inevitable when the Grim Reaper appears and tells him that his time has come. Rimmer gets up and unceremoniously knees Death in the groin, and quips: "Remember, Only The Good Die Young!"

      THE END......

      THE SMEG IT IS!!!
    • Ouroboros
      Season 7 - Episode 3
      Over 3,000,000 years ago in the Aigbuth Arms pub, a box with a baby inside was placed under a pool table with just the word Ouroboros written on the side.... Returning to the present day, the crew come across a wormhole between dimensions. They go through the wormhole, and meet an alternate version of themselves. Rimmer isn't there, Lister is a Hologram, Kochanski is alive, and Kryten is wearing a gold suit. They decide to exchange information and Kochanski requests that Lister fills a canister up with his sperm, so that she may have a child as her Lister cannot bear children. Unfortunately, Lister's in-law's - the GELFs attack (see Emohawk), and cause a break in the wormhole and Kochanski becomes caught on this side. They eventually manage to escape the GELFs, thanks to Kochanski's navigation. Kryten is jealous because Lister likes Kochanski more then him and is glad when they return to the wormhole to get her back to her own dimension. On a box they found some supplies in, Lister notices has a label "Ouroboros", with a symbol on it: a snake biting his own tail, meaning infinity - a neverending circle. Lister recognises this as what was on his own box and realises that he is his own father and Kochanski is his mother. He rushes after Kochanski to get the in-vetro tube back before she returns to her reality. Disaster strikes, as the GELFs return and make the break in the wormhole even bigger. Kochanski tries to jump across and misses the other side, falling into a deep black void. While she's falling, Lister rushes back and gets a crossbow and a rope which Kryten happened to have handy, and harpoons Kochanski and pulls her back to his side. 18 months later, Lister takes he and Kochanski's child, and puts him in a box, writing "Ouroboros" on it, so it would remind himself of the sign when the child got to be him, and he would bring back his child, etc...moreless
    • Trojan
      Season 10 - Episode 1

      Rimmer receives an SOS Distress Call from a doomed ship commanded by his all-conquering brother, Howard. But Rimmer can't bring himself to save Howard until he's on an equal footing career-wise. He has 15 hours to pass his Astro-Nav exam and become an Officer: The same exam he's already failed nine times.

    • Demons & Angels
      Season 5 - Episode 5
      Lister and Kryten have invented a triplicator: a device which can make three objects from one object -- two are copies. They demonstrate it on the last strawberry in the universe and receive two apparently exact copies. Lister samples one and is astounded by the taste, saying that it is brilliant, so succulent and divine. He tries the other and scrunches his face in disgust as we see that there are maggots crawling around in it.
      Kryten realizes that the triplicator has put all the best qualities in one copy and the worst in the other. Lister attempts to reverse the process but causes an overload and Red Dwarf blows up. After the blast, they realise that they accidentally triplicated Red Dwarf and there are two copies left behind.
      The crew board the "Good" ship to find their counterparts are monks and are all focused on the better side of things: spiritual happiness etc. Kryten finds the half of the triplicator he needs to merge the ships in order to get the original back.
      They board the "Bad" ship and it is horrible, the crew are monsters and have let the ship go into abject decay. The "Good" crew are killed by various things (mostly by their own stupidity when they walk toward someone firing at them) but eventually the original crew locates the other half of the triplicator.
      The "Bad" team captures Lister and implant him with a mind-controlling device and program him to kill the others. Lister tries to kill the rest of the gang but Kryten successfully removes the implant, only to stick it into Cat, who gets revenge on Lister for trying to kill him.
      Kryten throws the implant away and they leave the "Bad" ship and regenerate the original Red Dwarf. Before they return, Lister accidentally sits on the implant but the crew cannot figure out who is controlling him until Cat shoots at a cupboard which emits a faint giggle, as Lister's "Bad" counterpart falls out.
      The Cat then decides to have a little fun with Lister and the implant...moreless
    • Fathers and Suns
      Season 10 - Episode 2

      Every year Lister sends himself a Father's Day card to celebrate the fact that he is his own father, but when Rimmer points out he's been a lousy father to himself Lister decides to do something about it. Meanwhile, Rimmer and Kryten install a new computer; the beautiful, but lethally logical, Pree.

    • Kryten
      Season 2 - Episode 1
      The second season begins with the gang coming across a crashed space shuttle where the service mechanoid, Kryten, is still attending to the officers, even though they have long since passed away. The crew takes Kryten back aboard Red Dwarf where Rimmer puts him to work cleaning, cooking, ironing etc. Lister tries to convince him that he doesn't have to do any of his service duties anymore and can do his own thing. He fails until, while Kryten is painting a portrait of Rimmer, his rebellious side opens up, and he paints Rimmer sitting on the toilet, and then insulting him before jumping on a space bike wearing a leather jacket, a-la Marlon Brando in The Wild Onemoreless
    • Back in the Red (1)
      Season 8 - Episode 1
      Season 8 begins with Lister and Rimmer (who is now alive) in their new sleeping quarters on Red Dwarf. Lister tries in vain to get Rimmer to talk to him and we then flash back to three days earlier:

      From where we finished the previous season, Cat pilots Starbug into the Dwarf's landing bay which is now huge. As they fly through an air vent the ship begins to shrink back to it's proper size. When they finally land (or crash) Starbug we learn that the nanobots have resurrected the crew along with the ship. Lister thinks this is a godsend but Captain Hollister promptly arrests him and the others for stealing and then destroying a Starbug. While confined to his old quarters Lister is met by Rimmer and, after being disgusted that Rimmer has returned to his original smeghead self, pleads with him to help him and the others escape before they are sentenced. The Captain and the other officers are trying to figure out why they are now in deep space and how the ship has changed shape to its original design. Lister offers to help Rimmer get promoted by giving him the crews confidential files which are aboard Starbug. Rimmer gets the files and also finds the Luck Virus and Sexual Magnetism Virus (from Quarantine s5/ep3). Rimmer tries the sexual magnetism and women suddenly begin noticing him. As he saunters down the corridors amidst several women giving him the eye, he declares: "The World Loves a Bastard!"

      To Be Continued.....moreless
    • The End
      Season 1 - Episode 1
      Aboard the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel Red Dwarf, Dave Lister, a lowly 3rd Technician, smuggles aboard a cat and is consequently confined to suspended animation for a severe violation of ship's regulations.
      During his time in stasis his bunkmate Arnold Rimmer, an equally, if not more lowly 2nd Technician, is forced to perform the maintenance duties alone and inefficiently repairs a drive plate, causing it to fail and subjecting the entire crew to deadly radiation that kills them all almost instantly. 3 million years pass until Holly (the ship's computer) decides the radiation levels have lowered sufficiently and releases Lister from stasis and tells him of the accident and also resurrects Rimmer as a hologram to be a companion for Lister. After the initial shock, Lister realizes that he has the run of the ship, allowing him to be, basically, himself: a lazy, easygoing slob without a care in the world. In addition, Rimmer and Lister discover that his cat was pregnant, and had been sealed in the ship's hold during the accident and her descendants have bred there for the last 3 million years and have evolved into a humanoid, only one of whom is still on the ship. When he discovers his new friend, Lister decides to complete his dream of owning a farm on Fiji and orders Holly to set a course for Earth. THE BEGINNING!moreless
    • The Last Day
      Season 3 - Episode 6
      A mail pod arrives containing a message indicating that the "out-dated" Kryten must be dismantled and his replacement will arrive within 24 hours; a new, and improved "Hudzen 10". Kryten is not upset though, because now he goes to Silicon Heaven. Lister is shocked at this idea, and explains that there's no such thing as silicon heaven, but Kryten isn't convinced. The crew throw a "going away" party for Kryten, in which we find out that Lister was an orphan and Rimmer got his first french kiss from his uncle Frank, who thought he was his mother. The next morning, the crew wake up with hangovers and Kryten decides that he wants to stay. A ship requests docking, and the crew meet the replacement in the docking bay. They try and fight off the Hudzen 10 so Kryten will not have to leave, but he is too strong. Eventually Kryten informs him of the absence of silicon heaven, which causes Hudzen 10's circuits to overload.moreless
    • Camille
      Season 4 - Episode 1
      Lister tries in vain to teach Kryten how to lie, insult, cheat and disobey orders. Lister gives up when Rimmer calls Kryten on a trip "moon-hopping". On the trip they receive a distress call and Kryten goes to investigate against Rimmer's orders (The planet is about to explode).
      Kryten rescues a "female" droid called Camille who he falls in love with, even though droids aren't supposed to have feelings like that. Kryten takes Camille back to Starbug, but when Rimmer sees her, she appears to him as a hologram who is quite taken with him. They bring her back to Red Dwarf and Lister sees a human female with lowbrow tastes and manners particularly well suited to him.
      Lister notices how everyone reacts to Camille and she confesses to Lister that she is a Pleasure GELF (Genetically Engineered Life Form) programmed to be everyone's perfect companion. The Cat goes to see how he perceives her, with amusing results. The GELF turns into her true form at Kryten's request which is a huge green gelatinous blob.
      Despite her revolting appearance, Kryten still decides to ask her to dinner, then takes her to a movie (Casablanca). A pod arrives containing Hector (Camille's "Husband") who wants to find a cure for their condition.
      Kryten (to his own disappointment) convinces her to go.moreless
    • Nanarchy
      Season 7 - Episode 8
      Lister is quite annoyed that his right arm has been cut off, but seems to enjoy Kryten nursing him 24 hours a day; and Kryten is absolutely loving it. Kochanski becomes fed up with seeing Kryten doing things for him that he could easily do with one arm and comes up with a solution - use nanobots from Kryten's self-repair system to rebuild Lister's arm. Unfortunately, Kryten hasn't last seen the nanobots since they had met the Despair Squid (see Back To Reality) They all go into the deep sleep booths and make their way back to the ocean planet. The computer brings them out of deep sleep and they discover a planet which the Navicomp says is Red Dwarf. They are able to retrieve the original Holly and he explains that the nanobots had deconstructed Red Dwarf, created their own miniscule version of the ship and turned the rest into a planet for safekeeping. They realise that it was the nano version of RD that they were chasing and the nanobots evaded them by coming aboard Starbug and travelling around their own galaxy inside Lister clothes hamper. After much persuasion, Kryten convinces the nanobots to fix Lister and Red Dwarf. The nanobots follow Kryten's orders and reconstruct Lister's body, going one step further and turning him into Mr Universe! Cat takes control and guides Starbug into Red Dwarf's landing bay. It seems awfully big and Starbug's engines make the sound of a buzzing fly as it passes under another, massive Starbug! "Uh, Guys; I think we've got a problem here!"moreless
    • Back in the Red (2)
      Season 8 - Episode 2
      Part 2 begins with Rimmer putting his plan into action. Get Rimmer Officerhood, Power and Eminence (GROPE for short) is in full swing as he sucks up to Captain Hollister using the confidential files Lister gave him. However Rimmer will not help Lister and the others escape until he is promoted. Lister secretly takes some of the Luck Virus and escapes from the holding cell and heads to find his compadres. Kryten is classified as a woman as he has no apparent genitalia and is put in with Kochanski. This won't last long as the engineers are planning to restore him to his factory settings. One thing he cannot do is say no to a superior officer and this event ultimately happens. Lister finds Kochanski and the Cat (who is being held in the medical bay while they try to figure out exactly what he is) and the three find the no-personality Kryten. To avoid detection they dress up as the Dibbley family using mop heads as wigs and big, ugly false teeth. Upon seeing the three in their ridiculous get-up, Kryten's files are corrupted almost instantly and he reverts to his usual self. While all this is going on, Rimmer is invited to dinner with the captain and some of the officers. He makes the mistake of taking some of the Sexual Magnetism virus beforehand and is led off with the female officers to have wild animal sex. Obviously Rimmer is worn out from all this and takes some anesthetic to cool down his nether regions. During dinner Hollister mentions that the Dwarfers' Trial is already happening as they are in a VR suite and their escape is part of the trial. While Lister, Kochanski, Cat and Kryten begin their escape (in their heads of course), Rimmer runs to the VR suite to stop them mentioning anything about him.

      To Be Continued......moreless
    • Epideme
      Season 7 - Episode 7
      The crew come across another Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel. Everyone on it is dead except for one person who is preserved in a block of ice. They take her aboard Starbug but the ice doesn't melt, even in very warm temperatures. They decide to leave it till morning to decide what to do. During the night, the woman inside breaks out, covered in rotting skin and dead flesh and climbs into bed with Lister, who believes it's Kochanski. One thing leads to another, but when she kisses Lister, she falls dead, and Lister realises he's just taken about half her face with that kiss. It turns out it was a virus inside the woman, known as Epideme, who infects its victims, takes their knowledge, kills them and then preserves the body and waits for another victim. Epideme has now entered Lister. After hours of trying to reason with it, they try to get rid of it by forcing it into Lister's arm and then cutting the arm off. Unfortunately, it doesn't work and Epideme begins to regenerate itself. Lister gets up and decides to sacrifice his life, because otherwise when it finishes with him, it'll move on to Kochanski and the Cat. Seconds before detonation, Epideme reveals a clue to a possible cure and they head to a planet. Unfortunately the planet was destroyed, and the cure did not lie there. Kochanski gets an idea from Epideme and temporarily kills Lister, allowing the virus to enter her, but she uses a fake arm, thus killing Epideme. They revive Lister and all is well... except that Lister only has one arm, that is.moreless
    • Dear Dave
      Season 10 - Episode 5

      Lister has women trouble when he gets himself in a love triangle with Snack Dispensers 23 and 34, then to make matter worse gets a letter from an old girlfriend telling him she's pregnant and it might be his. Lister and Rimmer hunt through the mountain of letters from the mail pod to discover if Lister is finally a dad.

    • Waiting For God
      Season 1 - Episode 4
      Holly notices a pod floating in space and Rimmer orders that it be salvaged, convinced that it is an artifact which contains alien life forms, even though Lister immediately realises that it is, in fact, a Red Dwarf Garbage Pod, jettisoned from the waste disposal unit much earlier (The Red is retracing its steps to get back home, you may recall). Meanwhile Lister is researching the Cat's religion and discovers that their species, which evolved from his (female) pet, Frankenstein, have used his (Lister's) image as their God. He follows the Cat deep into the hold of the ship and finds that Cat is not, in fact, alone -- that there is a single remaining Cat Priest who is dying with the belief that he hasn't lived up to the expectations of the almighty Cloister (God aka "Lister"). Lister convinces him that he has lived admirably as a priest so that he can die in peace and Lister comes to the conclusion that having religion is not as good as people believe, since the Cat species all perished trying to honor theirs.moreless
    • Krytie TV
      Season 8 - Episode 5
      Kryten complains to Lister about being placed in the women's wing of the prison and makes the fatal mistake of revealing he showers with them too. The male inmates want him to sneak in a camera and film them but he refuses. Kill Crazy and some other inmates reprogram him, turning him into a ruthless entrepreneur and he creates "Krytie TV", a pay-per-view service offering "Women's Shower Night" and other events. Lister tries to get Kryten to stop, as he and Rimmer are in the middle of an appeal against their sentences, but Kryten plays a trick on them, getting them to mistakenly trash Ackerman's quarters live on Krytie TV.moreless
    • Duct Soup
      Season 7 - Episode 4
      Kryten gets fussy and jealous thinking that Lister likes Kochanski better than him. When the primary power goes off and they get stuck in a room, they have no choice but to climb into the small ventilation ducts which wind round Starbug in order to escape. Whilst inside the ducts they discover a lot about each other, including the fact Lister is claustrophobic.moreless
    • Balance of Power
      Season 1 - Episode 3
      Lister takes a break from Rimmer's supremely boring inventory checks and goes for a drink. Sitting in the empty bar, he flashes back to a disco that he attended with his past-time shipmates -- Petersen, Chen and Selby -- and finally senses how alone he is.

      After he wallows in self-pity for being alone in deep space, Lister pleads with Rimmer to allow him to create a hologram of Kristine Kochanski, an attractive crewmate he had flirted with despite her being far above him in the pecking order. When Rimmer invokes his standing as a superior crew member (2nd Technician as opposed to 3rd Technician) and flatly refuses, Lister vows to circumvent him, and threatens to take the exams to become an officer, so that he would then outrank him. Rimmer scoffs at the idea but wakes up in the morning to discover that Lister is off studying for the chef's exam, a fairly trivial officer position, but an officer position nonetheless. Rimmer tries to discourage Lister from taking the exam and even orders him not to, but Lister doesn't give in, saying that the only way he won't take the exam is if Rimmer lets him see Kochanski.

      On the day of the exam, Kochanski walks in and Lister is stunned beyond belief. However, Kochanski tells him that she isn't interested in him and wants a real man. Lister is hurt but is puzzled at her manner. He comments on the night that they slept together, and she replies in disbelief, proving to him that it is actually Rimmer who has simply reorganized his Holoprojection to look like Kochanski. Lister tells Rimmer to go away and he takes the exam.

      Lister comes from the exam room to receive his results and Rimmer asks how he did. Lister's face is expressionless until he leaps in the air and shouts "How'd I do, Mr Lister,Sir!"moreless
    • Back in the Red (3)
      Season 8 - Episode 3
      Rimmer and Lister attempt to adjust to life in prison in the worst area. Upon discovering that they are actually in a broken VR simulation, they attempt to escape.
    • Confidence and Paranoia
      Season 1 - Episode 5
      After foolishly visiting the officer's living quarters aboard the ship before the area has been properly decontaminated, Lister wakes up with a case of pneumonia and begins to hallucinate in his sleep.
      This is no ordinary flu, however. Lister's hallucinations manifest as real events when it begins to rain fish in their bunk room, and the Mayor of Warsaw appears and then spontaneously combusts in front of Rimmer. Lister wakes feeling better but he finds that, strangely, two men have appeared on the ship -- one is a living manifestation of his inner Confidence, the other of his abject Paranoia. While Lister's Confidence gives him the strength to face Rimmer to demand Kochanski's hologram disk, he is unaware that Confidence would do anything to be with him, including inducing the destruction of the Medicomp and the murder of Paranoia. Lister belatedly discovers this -- too late to stop Confidence from foolishly trying to convince, by demonstration to Lister, that he (Confidence) can breathe in space, with the end result of Confidence exploding into a billion pieces. Lister retrieves the hologram disk and loads it, but what follows is far worse than being alone in space.moreless
    • Pete
      Season 8 - Episode 6
      Lister and Rimmer are constantly getting into trouble. After playing a practical joke on Ackerman they are forced to play in an inmates vs guards basketball game and win by putting erectile solution in the guards drinks. Punishment for that is to peel potatoes for the next three weeks and to make that go faster they steal a programmable virus to peel them but it ends up eating their clothes and hair. Punishment for that is to spend three weeks in the Hole where they meet Birdman, who has been in there for nine years and has only one friend, a sparrow named Pete. Meanwhile Kryten, Cat and Kochanski are sent aboard a derelict ship where they find a device which can change the time stream surrounding an object or person to make it move extremely slow or fast and decide to use it to make their prison sentences go by in a flash. On Red Dwarf they freeze the crew and break Lister, Rimmer and Birdman out of the hold. Unfortunately Pete dies and Kryten tries to use the device to bring him back but accidentally reverses his evolution by several million years, turning Pete into a T-Rex.....moreless
    • Beyond a Joke
      Season 7 - Episode 6
      Kryten finds a lobster scuttling around the cargo hold and cooks an elaborate feast for the crew as it is the anniversary of when he was rescued from the Nova 5. The rest of the crew however have prepared to enter a virtual reality world of Jane Austen, where Kochanski hopes to teach them a little culture. Kryten is extremely upset that they left without touching his feast and enters the VR world, blowing up the characters of the game with a tank and ordering the crew to supper. Kryten seems to calm down as they tuck into the lobster but Lister asks for a little ketchup to 'pep it up' and Kryten blows his top. Literally. They replace his head but the rage still flows through him and they eventually run out of spare heads. They go aboard a derelict ship and find some heads but they dont have their primers installed. The crew realize that it is a simulant ship and hightail it, but they cannot leave without the heads so they dress up as GELFs and make a deal with the simulant captain. They get the heads but when they return to Starbug it has been looted and Kryten is gone. The simulant brings Kryten's body aboard his ship and tells another series 4000 mechanoid, Able, to repair him. Kochanski devises a plan to make the simulants think that they planted a bomb on the ship, which works. The simulant, along with his GELF partner, Able, and Kryten, beams aboard Starbug and demands to know where the bomb is. They refuse and the simulant tells Kryten the code to a sealed file in his memory about his creator. Able helps the crew escape and they enter an asteroid belt for cover. Kryten tells Lister that his creator was supposed to be married to another scientist but he left her at the alter. She then created a mechanoid in his image, an ugly, annoying, pompous android: the 4000 series. Lister consoles him by saying that he is different now than when he was first created. The simulant ship finds them because of Able's stupidity and Kryten scolds him. Able heads out in a pod and destroys the simulant ship, sacrificing himself in the process.moreless
    • Pete II
      Season 8 - Episode 7
      Our crew desperately try to turn Pete back into a sparrow before the time freeze wears off but Pete eats a scutter who was holding the time wand. The crew put out a heap of food for Pete and he eats it but then runs amok on the ship. Meanwhile the freeze wears off and Rimmer and Lister are hauled in front of Hollister who gives them a long and detailed account of how Pete ate almost all of the ship's supplies and then was sick. The time wand is retrieved and Hollister demands that they turn Pete back to normal. Lister and Rimmer complete the task and destroy the time wand, but they notice all too late that Pete had laid an egg that begins to hatch...moreless
    • Back to Earth (2)
      Season 9 - Episode 2
      Lister, Rimmer, Kryten an Cat travel through a dimensional portal and find out that they're TV-characters.
    • Twentica
      Season 11 - Episode 1
      After a smegging unbearable wait, the Dwarfers return for this brand new series! An alternative USA where technology is banned means trouble for Rimmer and Kryten.
    • Back to Earth (3)
      Season 9 - Episode 3
      The Dwarfers enter the final length of their search. After questioning Craig Charles, they finally find their creator, who tells them that their deaths are inevitable.
    • Red Dwarf Night
      Red Dwarf Night
      Season 7 - Episode 9
      To celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Red Dwarf, the BBC held a special 2 hour Red Dwarf Night filled with fun and excitement for all Dwarfers.
      The Friday night saw the airing of 'The End: ReMastered', the digitally enhanced version of the series pilot episode.
      The real entertainment began on the Saturday with host Patrick Stewart, a self confessed Dwarfer, kicking off the festivities with ...
      Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg: An outrageous spoof of the BBC's Can't Cook, Won't Cook with host Ainsley Harriot trying to supervise the gang cooking up a storm.
      Smeg Ups: A compilation of the goofs from the Smeg Ups and Smeg Outs videos.
      Red Dwarf Universe Challenge: Presented by Bamber Gascoigne, the cast took on the fans in a question-and-answer session about the show.
      Red Dwarf A to Z: The complete alphabetical list of everything Dwarfy. Guests including Patrick Stewart and Stephen Hawking share what they love best about the show.
      Finally, the night ended with a showing of 'Gunmen of the Apocalypse', what better way to end the night than by watching the Emmy Award winning episode.moreless
    • Back to Earth (1)
      Season 9 - Episode 1
      Lister's busy day of annoying Rimmer is interrupted by a monstrous attack. It's pretty much business as usual - until a shock development throws Rimmer, Lister, Cat and Kryten back to planet Earth. Rimmer's presence among the crew is threatened by the arrival of a new hologram in the form of Katerina.moreless
    • Children In Need
      Children In Need
      Season 7 - Episode 10
      The crew of Blue Midget pick up a transmission from 1998's Children in Need, with Terry Wogan encouraging people to make donations. After some talk over what to do, Rimmer decides he will help humanity by breaking Lister's guitar!
    • Red Dwarf USA
      Red Dwarf USA
      Season 9 - Episode 1

      This was a failed attempt in 1992 to make an "Americanized" version of the hit British sci-fi comedy. Two pilots were filmed after the producers replaced the actors playing Rimmer and Cat, but the series was never picked up, even with the involvement of the original creators, Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. The story was an amalgam of several episodes but pretty much followed the original British pilot episode The End, except that Kryten is aboard the Red Dwarf from the start and the Cat is now a woman.

      The Official Red Dwarf Site ( has a complete article about the fate of Red Dwarf USA in their 'DownTime' section; and a documentary on the entire American experience is included on the Series V DVD.

    • Pete - Part 1
      Pete - Part 1
      Season 11 - Episode 7
    • Pete - Part 1
      Pete - Part 1
      Season 11 - Episode 9
    • Back in the Red - Part 3
      Back in the Red - Part 3
      Season 11 - Episode 8
    • Back in the Red - Part 2
      Back in the Red - Part 2
      Season 11 - Episode 7
    • Back in the Red - Part 1
      Back in the Red - Part 1
      Season 11 - Episode 10
    • Pete - Part 2
      Pete - Part 2
      Season 11 - Episode 8
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