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favourite lister line

  • Avatar of inked-out-miss

    inked-out-miss

    [21]Jan 29, 2008
    • member since: 01/30/08
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    Another Cat classic...Epp: Confidence and Parinoia

    When he comes across Lister passed out in the hallway...

    #S-E-X, You know I want it! Aow! #S-E-X, Im gonna get it! Yeah! #S-E-X, I think I found it...Aow!
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  • Avatar of peas_and_corn

    peas_and_corn

    [22]Feb 10, 2008
    • member since: 11/22/07
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    I thought Lister was unconscious and thus couldn't speak?
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  • Avatar of Killo999

    Killo999

    [23]Apr 11, 2008
    • member since: 02/10/08
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    you think wilma's sexy?

    Lister of smeg

    Rimmer you really are one glorious hole

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  • Avatar of paradoxmachine

    paradoxmachine

    [24]May 5, 2008
    • member since: 04/30/08
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    'I know why dogs lick their testicles...it's to get rid of the taste of the food.' (after he ate dog food in some S3 episode)

    There's another one in my sig

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  • Avatar of Elekazam

    Elekazam

    [25]May 27, 2008
    • member since: 12/05/07
    • level: 6
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    My fav lister lines hav to be

    Lister: We've got about as much choice as a welsh fish n chip shop!

    Lister: We're on a mining ship 3,000,000 years away from earth, can someone tell me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?

    And, if it counts, the Aum song

    (As Rimmer would say, it's just so catchy-Auuuuuuum!)

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  • Avatar of E-Hero-Neos

    E-Hero-Neos

    [26]Jul 2, 2008
    • member since: 03/02/06
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    Oh how did that line go in Better Then Life where he was talking about his dads' death, the lego collection, and the goldfish?

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  • Avatar of Naylte

    Naylte

    [27]Feb 18, 2009
    • member since: 08/27/05
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    E-Hero-Neos wrote:

    Oh how did that line go in Better Then Life where he was talking about his dads' death, the lego collection, and the goldfish?

    That'll be:

    'I remember when my dad died y'know. I was only 6; got loadsa presents from ev'ryone like it was Christmas. I remember wish... I remember wishin' a cuppla more people would die so I could complete my lego set. Me grandma tried to explain, like, y'know; she said he'd gone away and he wasn't coming back. So I wanted to know where, like, y'know. She said he was very happy he'd gone to the same place as me goldfish; so I thought they flushed him down the bog. I thought he was just round the U-bend, y'know. I used to throw down food and magazines and that for him to read. They took me to a child's psychologist in the end, 'cause they found me with my 'ead down the bowl reading him the football results.'

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  • Avatar of over8ted

    over8ted

    [28]Feb 18, 2009
    • member since: 02/03/09
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    Naylte wrote:
    E-Hero-Neos wrote:

    Oh how did that line go in Better Then Life where he was talking about his dads' death, the lego collection, and the goldfish?

    That'll be:

    'I remember when my dad died y'know. I was only 6; got loadsa presents from ev'ryone like it was Christmas. I remember wish... I remember wishin' a cuppla more people would die so I could complete my lego set. Me grandma tried to explain, like, y'know; she said he'd gone away and he wasn't coming back. So I wanted to know where, like, y'know. She said he was very happy he'd gone to the same place as me goldfish; so I thought they flushed him down the bog. I thought he was just round the U-bend, y'know. I used to throw down food and magazines and that for him to read. They took me to a child's psychologist in the end, 'cause they found me with my 'ead down the bowl reading him the football results.'



    I remember that, it was funny
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  • Avatar of cvjrbdjkasfi

    cvjrbdjkasfi

    [29]Feb 19, 2009
    • member since: 08/28/08
    • level: 7
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    Elekazam wrote:

    My fav lister lines hav to be

    Lister: We've got about as much choice as a welsh fish n chip shop!

    Lister: We're on a mining ship 3,000,000 years away from earth, can someone tell me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?

    And, if it counts, the Aum song

    (As Rimmer would say, it's just so catchy-Auuuuuuum!)



    So catchy you got the word wrong? It's 'Om'.
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  • Avatar of BadWolf_35

    BadWolf_35

    [30]Feb 20, 2009
    • member since: 04/12/08
    • level: 14
    • rank: Autobot
    • posts: 163

    My fave Lister line has already been said.. but my 2nd fave line comes from the episode Queeg, where lister gets a pea on toast for dinner.

    Lister: Look what he's given me for dinner, a pea on toast. One Pea! I tell ya I'm that far from crackin'. (Lister accidentally ficks the pea away with a knife) I've lost me pea. That's it I've cracked!
    Rimmer: He's just doing this to destroy your moral.
    Lister: Is he? Well I want me pea back. It's my pea, I earned that pea. Where is it? I don't care if its on the floor, if its covered fluff. If its under the bed with my toenail clippings. I don't care where it is, its my pea, I earned it, I'm gonna eat it no matter what!
    Rimmer: It flew off into your dirty sock basket.
    Lister: I'll just have the toast.

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  • Avatar of over8ted

    over8ted

    [31]Feb 24, 2009
    • member since: 02/03/09
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
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    BadWolf_35 wrote:

    My fave Lister line has already been said.. but my 2nd fave line comes from the episode Queeg, where lister gets a pea on toast for dinner.

    Lister: Look what he's given me for dinner, a pea on toast. One Pea! I tell ya I'm that far from crackin'. (Lister accidentally ficks the pea away with a knife) I've lost me pea. That's it I've cracked!
    Rimmer: He's just doing this to destroy your moral.
    Lister: Is he? Well I want me pea back. It's my pea, I earned that pea. Where is it? I don't care if its on the floor, if its covered fluff. If its under the bed with my toenail clippings. I don't care where it is, its my pea, I earned it, I'm gonna eat it no matter what!
    Rimmer: It flew off into your dirty sock basket.
    Lister: I'll just have the toast.



    I didn't remember this but it's funny.
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  • Avatar of cvjrbdjkasfi

    cvjrbdjkasfi

    [32]Feb 25, 2009
    • member since: 08/28/08
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
    • posts: 514
    montyman3 wrote:

    guys whats ya favourite rimmer line? mine is...

    smeg what the smegging smegs he smegging done? hes smegging killed me!

    The OP makes me LOL because he got the character wrong in the text.

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  • Avatar of over8ted

    over8ted

    [33]Feb 26, 2009
    • member since: 02/03/09
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 70
    Lister to Red Dwarf: Show's evidence of spoiling for a rumble. With careful pumbling could possibly be sucking tomorrow's lunch through a straw.
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  • Avatar of ChipsTheButler

    ChipsTheButler

    [34]Jan 27, 2011
    • member since: 11/24/10
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 866

    peas_and_corn wrote:
    AlexKrycec wrote:
    "And I never sucked... a cock."



    wut

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