Red Dwarf

Season 4 Episode 3


Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Feb 28, 1991 on BBC Two
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Episode Summary

Lister is in bed with "space mumps" when he hears the news that the gang has brought aboard a cryo-pod from a prison ship which possibly contains a guard named Barbara Bellini.
Lister inspects the pod and begins the thawing process, which Rimmer objects to, saying that there were two survivors aboard the ship: Ms Bellini and a Simulant prisoner (Simulants are droids who are noted to be murderous and insane). Since it is too late -- they cannot stop the thawing process -- they decide to travel to the prison colony that the ship was heading for.
They arrive on the space station and walk through a white light which Kryten says is a mind probe to seek out any unpunished criminal activity. Lister gets very edgy and confesses that he had committed some minor crimes as a teenager.
The justice computer passes his verdict on them: Kryten and Cat get off, Lister does so, but barely. Rimmer, however, is sentenced to 9000 years in prison for the second degree murder of the Red Dwarf's complement of 1167 personnel -- not counting himself or Lister.
Kryten believes that he can defend Rimmer and reverse the verdict and he fronts up to the justice computer, describing to it all about Rimmer's extreme inadequacy and sheer hopelessness. The computer eventually concedes that Rimmer should not have been held accountable for the deaths and releases him due to incompetence.
Meanwhile the pod has thawed and the occupant has escaped. It is, of course, the simulant who was inside and he chases them through the colony. Lister finally beats him by using the power of the justice field - whatever crime you commit against someone else, the consequences happen to you. When the simulant fires at Lister, the bullets hit him instead of Lister, when he throws a knife, it comes back and hits him and so forth.
The gang head back to Red Dwarf with Lister droning on and on about justice and freedom until he falls down a manhole.
"Thank God for that" remarks Cat.moreless

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • Rimmer says that Simulant would have no trouble surving their guns, so how come he died, from knives and vases which should be a lot weaker than guns? Presumably, it was the justice field that killed the Simulant and not the objects -- he tried to kill Lister, therefore he was killed.

    • Lister says Cat has never met a real woman before, but he has actually met quite a few of them, in 'Parallel Universe' and 'Stasis Leak' to name a couple.

  • QUOTES (12)

    • Kryten: Oh, screw down my diodes and call me Frank!

    • Lister: You want to talk, let's talk.
      Simulant: You have no weapon?
      Lister: No. You have no weapon?
      Simulant: No.
      (They approach each other)
      Simulant: Guess what? (Pulls out a large knife) I lied.
      Lister: Guess what? (A metal pipe slides out of his sleeve) So did I.
      Simulant: But I lied...twice.(Draws a gun)
      Lister: I didn't think of that.
      Simulant: I'm very glad you didn't.
      Lister: What did you want to talk about?
      Simulant: Your death. (cocking gun) Your imminent death.

    • Justice: The hologram known as Rimmer. Guilty of second-degree murder. One thousand, one hundred and sixty-seven counts.
      Rimmer: No...There must be some mistake, surely...
      Justice: Each count carries a statuary penalty of eight years penal servitude. In the light of your hologrammatic status, these sentences are to be seved consecutively, making a total sentence of nine thousand, three hundred and twenty-eight years.
      Rimmer: I've never so much as returned a library book late. Second-degree murder? A thousand people? I would have remembered.
      Justice: Your wilful negligence in failing to reseal a drive plate resulted in the deaths of the entire crew of the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel the Red Dwarf.
      Rimmer: Oh, that.
      Justice: Sentence to commence immediately.

    • Kryten: I call my first witness. (Lister takes the stand) Name?
      Lister: Dave Lister.
      Kryten: Occupation?
      Lister: Ehm... bum.
      Kryten: Mr Lister, would you describe the accused as a friend?
      Cat: Take the fifth!
      Kryten: I remind you that you are under polygraphic surveillance. Would you describe the accused as a friend?
      Lister: No, I would describe the accused as a git.

    • Rimmer: Kryten. You're going over the top. The court will never buy it.
      Kryten: Trust me, sir. My whole case hinges on proving you're a dork.
      Rimmer: Understood.

    • (Regarding the metal boots given to the crew)
      Cat: I'm supposed to wear these?!? They look like Frankenstein's hand-me-downs! You haven't got anything with a cuban heel or a crepe sole?

    • Lister: What's a mind-probe?
      Kryten: The computer was merely searching our minds -- presumably for any evidence of criminal activity.
      Lister: Whu-what d'you mean, "criminal activity?"
      Kryten: I shouldn't worry, sir. It's just a routine clearance procedure.
      Lister: So when you say "criminal activity," whu-whu-what exactly do you mean by "criminal activity?" How criminal do you mean by "criminal?"
      Rimmer: What are you bleating on about, Lister?
      Lister: Just define "criminal activity" for me.
      Kryten: Well, imagine a situation where someone had commited a crime and concealed it from the law, the mind-probe would be able to uncover that crime and sentence the person accordingly.
      Lister: Why didn't nobody tell me about this before we put the smegging boots on?
      Rimmer: Oh, Listy, Listy. Is that a small sewage plant you're carrying in your trousers, or do I detect you're a tad concerned?

    • JUSTICE: In the view of your counsel's eloquent defence, together with
      the reams of material evidence he submitted on computer card, this
      court accepts that, in your case, the mind-probe is not anadequate
      method of assessing guilt. It is not possible for you to have
      committed the crimes for which you blame yourself, and you may
      therefore go free.
      RIMMER: Objection!
      KRYTEN: Sir, what are you objecting to now sir?
      RIMMER: I want an apology.

    • Cat emerges from the cockpit covered in goo.
      Cat: Oh my god, his HEAD burst. I don't wanna live. Somebody please, shoot me in the head!

    • Cat: Do you know what you look like? It's nauseating! You could go double-dating with the elephant man, and he would be the looker!

    • Lister: Maybe I can wrap a towel round my head and pretend I'm from India.
      Cat: Maybe you can stick a spike in your head and pretend you're the Taj Mahal!

    • Cat: Have you ever heard of an animal called the Iranian Jurd. It can do 150 pelvic thrusts a second.
      Lister: So?
      Cat: That's me in slo-mo! Stick a Black and Decker drill on the end, I can make it through walls baby!

  • NOTES (1)

    • This episode contains the only entirely deleted scene from Series IV. The gang stroll through a simulated park on Justice World while Rimmer and Kryten prepare the case and Lister explains the properties of the justice field to Cat. To illustrate this, Lister throws a can into a bin and misses; and a giant litter bird flies overhead and craps on him! The scene can be viewed on the Series IV DVD.


    • Lister: Don't know what I would have done without you these last few weeks, Kryten. You're a regular Florence Nightendroid.

      This is a reference to Florence Nightingale, a pioneering British nurse from the nineteenth century, who was particularly noted for her actions during the Crimean War.

    • Cat: Take the Fifth

      This is a reference to the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution, the right against self-incrimination. Cat says this as he thinks Lister would not like to acknowledge that he doesn't consider Rimmer a friend.

    • The Cat: (to Lister) You could go double-dating with the elephant man, and he would be the looker!

      This is a reference to Joseph Merrick, a man whose facial and bodily deformities were so great, he was often referred to as "The Elephant Man".