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Arnold Judas Rimmer
Kryten (season 3-)
In the Legion episode, Rimmer mentions that they have met 31 different people and one of them has tried to delete them from existance. This however is not true because when Lister deleted the Inquisitor from existance then the Dwarfers had not actually met the Inquisitor ever. So really it's 30 people they have met.
The morning after the crew wake up and are at breakfast, Lister asks Cat to pass him some Bucks Fizz. Kryten then begins to talk. If you watch Lister pouring the drink into his champagne flute, you will notice that he realises the glass is going to fill up too quickly and so pours a little back into the jug before the camera comes back to him filling up the glass.
When Legion stabs his left hand, everyone grabs and shakes their left hands, but Lister grabs and shakes his right hand.
Legion stabbing his hand shouldn't have produced a pain response in the Dwarfers anyway. It was THEIR consciousness that fed into HIM, not the other way around.
Lister mouths along with the Cat as he says the line 'The whole panel's deader than A-line flares with pockets in the knees'.
Rimmer: You can't serve space weevil, Kryten! Not even Lister, with his single remaining taste bud, will knowingly sit down and eat insectoid vermin. Let's face it, with him, it's practically cannibalism!
Cat: (To Lister) You think I'll buy anything you say, dontcha? Well wrong, buddy! Now get outta here, I gotta keep my eyes skinned for that asteroid shaped like a dancin' moose you told me about yesterday.
Kryten: Was your room the same as everybody else's, sir? Perfect in every way?
Rimmer: Impeccable! Right down to the overstarched pajamas and nocturnal boxing gloves! What about yours?
Kryten: Filthy walls, mud-streaked floors, mop and bucket...I was in hog's heaven, sir!
Kryten: Permission to "lay you out", sir?
Cat: Do what ya gotta, but don't muss up my hair.
Rimmer: Kryten, there has to be a more effective escape plan than this.
Kryten: (Hiding a vase behind his back) Come back, sir. You're just delaying the inevitable.
Rimmer: I can't help it. I'm allergic to getting hit.
Kryten: You won't feel a thing. I'll render you unconscious using the Ionian Nerve Grip. (Pinches Rimmer on the shoulder, then hits him with the vase)
Rimmer: That's not an Ionian Nerve Grip!?! That's smashing me over the head with a vase!
Kryten: There's no such thing as an Ionian Nerve Grip! Now stand still while I hit you!
Rimmer: May I remind you all of Space Core Directive 34124?
Kryten: 34124. 'No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity'.
Lister: Rimmer, you've got a longer yellow streak than a stampede of diarrhetic camels.
Rimmer: Now, this three-dimensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, its bold stark lines. Pray, what do you call it?
Legion: The light switch.
Rimmer: The light switch?
Rimmer: I couldn't buy it, then?
Legion: Not really. I need it to turn the lights on and off.
Rimmer: Legion: may I be frank? It's not often we meet an individual who we feel could improve our already pretty damn fine top-notch team. But in you, we feel we have. In all our travels, we have met precisely thirty-one individuals: three one. And we have never felt moved to invite a single one to join our crew. True, most of them wanted in some way to suck out our brains, or erase us from history altogether. Nevertheless, they still weren't what we would consider The Right Stuff. We feel that you are different. We feel that you, like us, have the courage and the dignity it takes to make it as a Dwarfer.
Legion: Mr Rimmer, I am moved by the eloquence of your invitation, but it is quite impossible for me to leave the confines of the institute.
Rimmer: It was Lister, wasn't it? He put you off.
Kryten: Is there nothing we can do to change your mind?
Kryten: Then I'm afraid we must bid you farewell. We have a long journey ahead of us.
Legion: Nonsense. You have no journey at all, my friends. I insist you stay here with me. You will be my honoured guests - from now until the day you die.
Rimmer: (sighs) Thirty-two.
Rimmer: Know this about me: like General George S. Patton, I believe in reincarnation. It is my firm conviction that in all my previous lives I've been a soldier, a bold warrior soul, who tragically in this incarnation has been given the body of an abject coward. So excuse me, gentlemen, while I have a humiliating panic attack under the scanner table.
Rimmer: Look, maybe we can reason with it. Open communication channels, Lister. Broadcast on all known frequencies, and in all known languages, including Welsh.
into the communicator
Rimmer: This is acting senior officer Arnold J Rimmer of the Jupiter Mining Corporation transport vehicle Star Bug. Now hear this, 'cos it's only coming once: We surrender, totally and without condition. Thank you for listening. Oh, additional: sorry to take up your valuable time. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Rimmer: Step up to Red Alert!
Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
The original title for this episode was "Call Me Legion."
Lister has his appendix removed by Legion in this episode, even though in Series II's 'Thanks For The Memory', we learn he already had it removed when he was younger. Doug Naylor explains this in his novel 'Last Human' where it is said that, due to a freak of nature, Lister was born with two appendixes.
Rimmer's hardlight hologram body was originally going to be used only for this episode where the dwarfers dine with Legion, but it was decided to keep the concept in place for the rest of the series as the writers were sick of having to write scenes for Rimmer where he is unable to touch or feel anything. The hardlight body provided a long term solution which enabled Rimmer to be more useful to the crew.
Lister: I have a plan! Has anyone here seen "Revenge of the Surfboarding Killer Bikini Vampire Girls"?
This movie title brings to mind the various B-grade beach movies and horror films of the 1950's and 1960's, such as "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" (1957), "The Horror of Party Beach" (1964) and the very suggestively titled, "The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini" (1966), which certainly had a ghost but the bikini was far from invisible.
Kryten: ...and tonight's movie. I'm sorry sir, it is another Doug McClure. Please, don't hit me.
Doug McClure (b. 1935) was an American actor who played the leading role in more than 20 B-grade films during the 60s and 70s, his boyish looks allowing him to portray characters much younger than his true age. His career was half of the inspiration for the Simpsons character Troy McClure. McClure died of cancer in 1995 at age 59.
Rimmer: Like General George S. Patton, I believe in reincarnation.
Patton believed that in a previous life he was a foot soldier in Alexander the Great's army during the seige of Tyre in 332 bc. As seen in Marooned, Rimmer, too, believes this, although he was Alexander's chief eunuch!
Legion: My name is Legion, for we are many.
This is a line from the Bible (Mark 5:9), the verse tells of the healing of a man possessd by demons. When Jesus asked the possessed man his name, he replied: "My name is Legion; for we are many."
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