[Lister stands there, blowing bubbles from bubble gum]
Holly: Busy, Dave?
Lister: Well, yeah, I am, actually!
Holly: Oh. Then you won't want to know about the supralightspeed fighters that are tracking us.
Holly: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate.
Lister: No, Holly. Hol! Come on!
Holly: They're from Earth.
Lister: That's three million years away!
Holly: They're from the NorWEB Federation.
Lister: What's that?
Holly: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
Lister: Me? Why? What for?!?
Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
Lister: They what?!
Holly: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
Lister: Did I?!?
Holly: Do you know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
Lister: Yeah, they go moldy.
Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover 7/8ths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
Lister: Why NorWEB?
Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here
for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding!
Holly: [Now wearing a Groucho Marx nose, glasses, and mustache] April Fools!