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Holly (season 3-5)
Arnold Judas Rimmer
Kryten (season 3-)
Apparently Kryten got it wrong when he said none of the events of this episode would happen or be remembered, since Lister recalled playing pool with planets in "Demons and Angels". (Of course, there may be a good explanation for remembering).
(The Time Dilation hits)
Kryten: (Slowed down) What on earth was that?
Rimmer: (Sped up) I think it came from outside the ship. Is there anyway we can get a damage report? What's going on?
Kryten: Why are you speaking so quickly, sir?
Rimmer: I'm not speaking quickly. I'm speaking perfectly normally. It's you, you're speaking too slowly. It's like having a conversation with Paul Robeson on dope.
Talkie Toaster: Howdy doodly do! How's it going? I'm Talkie -- Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?
Lister: I don't want any toast. He (points to Kryten) doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.
Talkie Toaster: How about a muffin?
Lister: Or muffins! We don't like muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smeggin' flapjacks!
Talkie Toaster: Ah, so you're a waffle man!
Kryten: ...But the entire ship is running on emergency battery power only. With the oxygen recycler and minimal heating and lighting, I estimate that Lister and the Cat have approximately two months left. Without your drain on the power, they might last six. I'm sorry, Sir.
Rimmer: Sorry? Why are you sorry?
Kryten: Well, Space Corps Directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive.
Rimmer: Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly, "No chance you metal bastard."
Cat: Come on, man, you gotta sacrifice your life! I'm not asking you to do anything *I* wouldn't do!
Rimmer: YOU? You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?
Cat: No, I'd sacrifice YOUR life for the good of the crew.
Lister: Computer senility. Such a weird condition.
Kryten: I know. I had a mechanoid friend once who suffered from the same affliction. His name was Gilbert, but he preferred it if people called him "Rameses Niblick the Third, Kerplunk Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble." A sad case.
Rimmer: (speaking quickly) White hole spewing time engines dead air supply low advice please.
Holly: Excuse me?
Rimmer: (speaking quickly) White hole spewing time engines dead...
Holly: I can't understand a word you're saying.
Holly: With you.
Rimmer: Engines dead...
Rimmer: Air supply low...
Rimmer: Advice please.
(After using Kryten as a battering ram to get through 53 doors)
Lister: You OK, Kryten?
Kryten: I'm fine, thank you Susan.
Lister: Doesn't mean she can play pool. I can. Trust me. I know whereof I speak. Aigburth Arms on a Friday night, they used to call me Dave "Cinzano Bianco" Lister, 'cause once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me. This pool arm is as sound as a dollarpound, and I promise you that shot will not come off. She's topped it, that's what she's done, she's topped it! It's a felt-ripper! That planet is off the table and into somebody's pint of beer.
Kryten: We will cease to be HERE, because none of this will have occurred. But we will exist back on Red Dwarf, before all this began. With, of course, no memory of these events, which, of course, never happened. And as these events never happened, we will have no memory of them. In which case, Mister Rimmer, Sir, I should like to take this opportunity of saying that you are the most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ever been my misfortune to encounter!
Rimmer: Yes, but the thing is, about Captain Oates; the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates; Captain Oates ... Captain Oates was a prat. If that'd been me, I'd've stayed in the tent, whacked Scott over the head with a frozen husky, and then eaten him.
Incidentally, Craig Charles is a terrific pool player.
This was the last episode to be written for this season. Originally the final episode was to be based on the "Garbage World" sequence from the novel Better Than Life, but was deemed too expensive to create so the writers took Holly's intelligence compression sequence and the black hole scenes (slightly tweaked of course: the black hole became a white hole, and everything goes back to normal at the end) and merged them into one story, complete with Talkie Toaster. White Hole would remain the only episode to have been based on events originally written for the novels.
Director Ed Bye was unavailable during the filming of this episode when he was stricken with a bout of food poisoning, so Paul Jackson stepped in to direct the studio session. The normally punctual Danny John-Jules picked absolutely the worst day to show up late to the set!
Lister: Aigburth Arms on a Friday night.....
The Aigburth Arms is a real pub, on Victoria Road in Aigburth, an area of Liverpool. While it's pool table made Lister a legend one Friday night, Ouroboros shows that he was also left under the same pool table in a box when he was a baby.
Rimmer: Captain Oates was a prat.
Captain Laurence Oates and Robert Scott were two members of a expedition to reach the south pole. After reaching the Pole in January 1912, the party was trapped by extreme blizzards on their return journey. Oates, suffering from severe frostbite, sacrificed himself so the remaining members would have a chance of surviving and went out into the storms for his "legendary walk". His last words "I am just going outside and may be some time" were recorded in Scott's diary.
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