Reno 911!

Dangle: I don't think Jones would go with you, anyway. Raineesha: He would. Dangle: He likes white chocolate, I think. Raineesha: I know for a personal fact that Jones eats the dark piece off the chicken. Dangle: And I've seen him very close to some white breast meat.

Trudy: Anyone who wants to die should be allowed to die. For instance, if Clemmie wanted me to kill her I would, I would do that for her. Because it takes a village. Clementine: Yeah, and it's that sunny attitude that keeps the men away.

(talking to a hooker about her fake hair) Raineesha: See, you can't have that...when the edges is in Africa and the back is in China. Them continents don't meet. Huh? Huh? You go on and get you some hair that blend in.

Driver: Okay...so, I'm...wait, I'm under arrest AND I have to drive?

Big Mike: I'm gonna kill you, Brenda! Junior and Dangle: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Dangle: That's illegal, that's illegal. That's illegal, buddy. Junior: You're not allowed to say that. Dangle: You can't say that. Big Mike: I not gonna kill her. I'm just gunna fuck her up.

Big Mike (on his tatoo): That's a panther. Junior: No Mike, that's a dragon. Big Mike: Oh shit!