Rescue Me

Season 4 Episode 6

Balance

0
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Jul 25, 2007 on FX
8.7
out of 10
User Rating
91 votes
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Episode Summary

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Tommy and Janet deal with revelations about the baby; Sean learns a secret that Mike has been trying to hide; the new probie holds the guys to their agreement about doing no 'probie' work; and Lou's cousin Mike visits.
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SUBMIT REVIEW

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Sheila: All women play mind games about sex.
        Tommy: S-so, when you told me that I was the best...
        Sheila: Depends on the night.
        Tommy: An-And what about that time, you told me that, I-I lasted the longest?
        Sheila: Also depends on the night.
        Tommy: And that whole thing about me being the biggest?
        Sheila: Oh, well that part was true. (Tommy's expression changes) See how easy that is?

      • Tommy (after Sheila drives up in a Porsche): Mid life crisis much?
        Sheila: Oh, shit. I don't need to reach mid-life to have a crisis. That kicked in after the time I lost my virginity.

      • Tommy (to Black Shawn): Let me fill you in on little somethin' about the bible. The bible is to the Catholic church what The Godfather is to the mafia, y'know? Yeah, the catholic church is the most corrupt organization on the face of the planet. I did 12 years in that... penal system, y'know? All these gangsters walk around, thinkin' they run the world at any moment in time. You know, like Gotti, Gambino, Gasilano, y'know, whoever. They all learn the same lesson, though. At any given time on this planet, the biggest gangster is always the pope.

      • Sean (about Mike): Except he's always home. He doesn't let me in the houes by myself.
        Kenny: That's probably 'cause he's afraid of you sticking a fork in a wall socket or play with matches, you know, somethin' like that.

      • Tommy: Where's her lunch?
        Janet: Oh, yeah, I forgot that this morning, but she can just grab something at school.
        Katy: The food at school tastes like poo.
        Janet: Well, how would you know what poo tastes like?
        Katy: I use my imagination.
        Tommy: Okay, do me a favor. Use your imagination for something a little more constructive, like, reading or writing, okay? (hands her money) Okay, have a good day. Say good bye to your brother.
        Katy: He smells like poo.
        Tommy: He's supposed to smell like poo, he's a baby.

      • Tommy (answers the phone): Yeah.
        Sheila: Oh, hello. That's a nice greeting. Where'd you go to charm school?
        Tommy: The Russel Crowe academy.

      • Franco: You gotta change your name, bro.
        Sean: Yeah, why?
        Franco: 'Cause he wants to be called Shawn.
        Kenny: Yeah, even though his real name is uh, is Bart.
        Sean: Well, why can't he just be, you know, Black Shawn, and I'll be y'know, me.
        Kenny: 'Cause, uh... he doesn't really wanna do that.
        Sean: Well, tough shit. It's my God given name.
        Franco: Yeah, but he averages 30 points and 12 rebounds a game, bro.
        Sean: Wow, really, 30 points? Damn. Alright, I'll make the coffee.

      • Tommy: Franco?
        Franco: Yeah?
        Tommy: Was that just a mop that I saw in your hands?
        Franco: No... Yeah. I uh...
        Tommy: Okay, you haven't had a mop in your hands since Bill Clinton was getting blow jobs in the white house. And you haven't been involved with cleaning the rig since Hughie Lewis last had a hit single, so what's goin' on?
        Kenny: Okay, look. We ran into some other houses who had promised certain perks during the negotation process, so in order for us to get the kid to this house. We had make some, y'know, promises so our own.
        Tommy: Such as?
        Kenny: Mmm... you know, he doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he doesn't shine, he doesn't get his balls busted.
        Tommy: What does he do?
        Kenny: He... uh, he plays hoops, is what he does.

      • Tommy (to Black Shawn): You know what? Let me tell you something. If you were working the morning of 9/11 you'd feel the same way as me, okay. I don't care who you believe in, whether it's God or Allah or Mohammed or L. Ron Hubbard, okay? Whoever was supposed to be in charge that morning, was managing the master plan, he showed his cards that morning, he doesn't give a shit, okay?

      • Tommy (drawing straws to see, who looks to see if the Chief's dick is really as big as they say): You know you pick the long straw, G, your life becomes a living hell.
        Sean: Well, 'Cept my wife's disappeared off the face of the Earth and I'm living at Mike's Moms' house, and you guys are calling me Lesley, so hell would be a vacation, okay?

    • NOTES (2)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Sheila: Where'd you go to charm school?
        Tommy: The Russel Crowe academy.

        This is a reference to actor Russel Crowe's infamous explosive temper. In fact, as soon as the call ends, Tommy throws the phone violently, much like Crowe did in one incident in a hotel.

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