Rescue Me

Season 5 Episode 3

Wine

0
Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Apr 21, 2009 on FX
8.7
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Episode Summary

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After learning of Colleen's relationship with Black Shawn, Tommy decides that it's time for a talk about the birds and the bees. Tommy also decides to meet with the French reporter who's writing a book about 9/11, and issues raised by her book lead to friction between Franco and Mike. Meanwhile, Mike hits on a new theme for his bar; and Sean seeks out treatment for his bad back.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Gina Gershon

    Gina Gershon

    Valerie

    Guest Star

    Karina Lombard

    Karina Lombard

    Genevieve Lazard

    Guest Star

    Anthony Perullo

    Anthony Perullo

    Derek

    Guest Star

    Larenz Tate

    Larenz Tate

    Bart

    Recurring Role

    Robert John Burke

    Robert John Burke

    Father Mickey

    Recurring Role

    Jerry Adler

    Jerry Adler

    Sidney Feinberg

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (12)

      • Mike: You know, uh, Frank, I got this Uncle out in Staten Island and he owns this company, they transport hazard waste. I was gonna work for him, but a couple days before, 9/11 happened. And uh, I watched the news, and I saw all the people postin' flyers around town lookin' for their loved one's, and I just really felt, like I'm sure everybody did, that I had to do something, y'know. ... So, I decided to become a firefighter. You know, how a lot of kids wanna be firemen when they get older, well, I wanted to be a superhero. Even after, I knew that they really didn't exist, I still wanted to be one, because I wanted to fight the bad guys, you know. Frank, what I'm tryin' to say is... that I became a firefighter because of the bad guys did on 9/11, and if you're tellin' me that there are other bad guys and that their our leaders, our people, the people who are supposed to watchin' out fo everybody, that's too scary. I can't even think about that. I mean, I understand that there's evil in this world, but I just feel a lot better if it comes from some place that I don't call home.
        Franco: Yeah. ... You say you were gonna take up transporting hazardous waste?
        Mike: Yeah, I was gonna be a driver.
        Franco: Jesus. I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for 9/11. (they laugh)

      • Mike (hearing something break, but can't see cause of the pitch black bar): What the hell was that?
        Shawn: A table, I think.
        Mike: Well, watch where you're goin', dude.
        Shawn: I can't. You painted everything black, dumbass. (he trips and breaks something else)
        Mike: I better go get the broom.
        Sean: I hope you didn't paint that shit black.

      • Shawn: Hey, Tommy? Did you tell Colleen to go down on me?
        Tommy: What?
        Shawn: She said you said somethin' about Bill Clinton. ... I just find that shit, very, very disturbing.
        Tommy: I didn't say anything like that.
        Shawn: Now, here I am a good brother, tryin' to keep it real, and here you are tellin' her to go down on me, and service me in an oral fashion.
        Tommy: Wh-what? Wh--What? See? This is the reason you can't tell anybody anything any more, it gets blow out of proportion!
        Shawn: I'm gonna stay strong, and focused, and give her that good lovin' on our weddin' night!
        Tommy: Wh-- Al-alright, but you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it!

      • Colleen: What did you wanna talk to me about?
        Tommy: Uh, I just wanted to say that, your mother and I... we're very proud of you, and we think Shawn's great.
        Colleen: He is.
        Tommy: Yes, and the being black thing, doesn't bother us at all. I mean, I think we've raised you kids with that color, creed, religion, you know... none of that stuff, you know, doesn't matter to us. And... you know, love, it's a big thing... it's... you know, it-- it, it just happens. And I think it's kinda important to... you know... What?
        Colleen: What's the problem?
        Tommy: There's no problem, honey, I just wanna... okay... If you were gonna buy a car, you'd test drive it, that's what I'm tryin' to say.
        Colleen: Oh, my God.
        Tommy: No, no, listen. If you were gonna test drive a car, you'd take it out and you'd drive it around, and you'd maybe take it on the highway...
        Sean (walks up): Hey, Col, how are 'ya? You're gonna buy a car so I hear? Y'know my friend, Mark, is gettin' rid of this old--
        Tommy: Y'know, she's all set, she's got a car. That's nice though. Thanks. (Sean walks off, Tommy continues his thought before Sean interrupted) Listen, I just think you know, it's important that the parts... fit.
        Colleen: What parts?
        Tommy: You know the parts, and don't make me say the parts, you--
        Colleen: His penis in my vagina.
        Sean (overhearing): You guys aren't talkin' about cars, are you? (Tommy makes a face, and Sean walks off)
        Colleen: Are you actually tellin' me to have sex with Shawn?
        Tommy: No... kinda... yeah. I'm just sayin' that I don't think it's such a bad idea for you to do it, okay? You don't have to do the whole thing... just y'know, do the Clinton thing, you don't have to go all the way--
        Colleen: Oh, my God!
        Tommy: Honey, what? I thought that would be easier.
        Colleen: Dad! Dad, are you tellin' me to-- Oh, my God.
        Tommy: I'm not tellin' you anything, what? What? It's a suggestion, I'm suggesting some stuff to help you with your--
        Colleen: I'm telling mom.

      • Tommy: So you met this guy at your cooking class?
        Sheila: Yeah, I only talk about my cooking class like a zillion times a week.
        Tommy: You do? I've never heard about it before.
        Sheila: Uh, maybe you don't listen to me.

      • Kenny: Tommy, you know what, I gotta tell 'ya, I'm proud of you, man. About Colleen, and Shawn, the way you've handled it, I'm proud of 'ya.
        Tommy: In the plus decades that you've known me, have I ever given you an inkling of an idea that I would be against one of my daughters dating a black guy.
        Kenny: No, I just like hear you say inkling. Say it again.
        Tommy: Inkling.
        Kenny: Say it again.
        Tommy: Inkling.
        Kenny: One more time.
        Tommy: No.

      • Tommy (about Colleen and Shawn): But the kid's great, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink, I got nothin' bad to say about the kid. Is he my first choice to date Colleen? No.
        Kenny: Yeah, and I think you're real lucky too about the deciding to not have sex thing.
        Tommy: Yeah. ... What?
        Kenny: What you didn't know that?
        Tommy: What? They're not havin' sex? Why would they not be havin' sex?
        Kenny: Oh, I dunno, I dunno.
        Tommy: Why are they not havin' sex?
        Kenny: I don't know. (looks away)
        Tommy: Lou.
        Kenny: No reason. (Tommy makes a face at him) They're waiting.
        Tommy: Waiting for what?
        Kenny: Why don't we get this chair outta here?
        Tommy: Lou.
        Kenny: Until they get married... (Tommy bites down on his glove as Black Shawn passes by)
        Tommy: Oh, that sneaky little black son of a bitch! (groans)
        Kenny: Say inkling, say inkling.

      • Tommy (about Colleen and Shawn waiting to have sex): She's not gettin' married, I'm tellin' you that. How did we go wrong? We purposfully raised her the wrong way, as a lasped Catholic so now she enjoying herself on birth control, bangin' her brains out, but now she wants to reclaim her viriginity and wait to have sex 'til she gets married. My daughter turned Amish on me, how's that possible? She's not gettin' married, she's not gonna end up like her mom, I'm tellin' 'ya.
        Kenny: Wh- What do you mean? Gorgeous, 40, and angry? She's Irish, she's gonna end up angry no matter what.
        Tommy: She's not gettin' married, I'm tellin' 'ya. Too young!
        Kenny: Tommy, you keep that act up, she's gonna get married even sooner.
        Tommy: I'm gonna tell 'ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna talk to her, have a conversation with her, and she's gonna end up having sex with him, okay? She's gonna have lots of sex with him, she's gonna have so much sex, that it's gonna turn into what sex is supposed to be: Boring, menotinius, chore, just like it is for everyone else who's in a long-term relationship, and then he's gonna get bored, and then he's gonna leave, and then we're all set, and the marriage is off.
        Kenny: Right. So lemme get this start, you're gonna have a conversation with your teenage daughter, telling her to have sex with her boyfriend?
        Tommy: Yes, I am.
        Kenny: Can I sit in on that conversation? Because it's gonna be so creepy, it's gonna reset the high end of my creep-meter for the rest of my life.

      • Franco: I don't know, Mike, you name the bar White, and you run the risk of sending the message that it's for whites only, or somethin' like that.
        Mike: I didn't think of that. Well, I mean, you'll be hangin' out there the whole time, right? So maybe you could like, kinda like hang out in front of the window so that people with color know that it's cool to come in.
        Franco: You're tellin' me that my new job is to be a goddamn cigar store Indian?
        Mike: Uh, no, I don't think you can smoke in bars anymore, Frank.

      • Mike (about the theme for his bar): The whole entire place and everything in it, is black. The floor, the bar, the walls, the ceiling, the tables, the chairs, the glasses, everything. And like that's not brillant enough, right, the name of the place is--
        Franco: White.
        Mike: Hey, who told you?
        Franco: Lucky guess.

      • Mike: So, I admit, I messed up with the whole lumberjack theme for the bar.
        Franco: Yeah, well, let's put it this way: you're a dipshit.

      • Mickey (on the phone): Hey, what's goin' on?
        Tommy: Just talkin' to my sponsee for the millionith time this week. This guy's unbelievable, I'm gonna have to change my plan on my goddamn phone. Do they have like an unlimited number of minutes for self-absorption and whining?
        Mickey: You don't have that one already?
        Tommy: Oh, you're so funny.

    • NOTES (1)

      • Original International Air Dates:
        Czech Republic: October 1, 2009 on AXN
        Finland: December 22, 2010 on Nelonen
        Slovakia: April 19, 2011 on JOJ

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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