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THE FUN IS IN THE CHASTE NEWS

... MTV has ordered four new reality series, and if you like eating virgins with your ex, you'll love them! The most exciting one follows young adults who remain unsexed and live their lives as virgins, whether they want to or not. It's currently untitled, but may I suggest On the VirginGet me Laid!, or Genitals for Hire? Also coming to MTV are MTV's House of Food, where aspiring chefs compete against each other in cooking challenges and live in the same house; Snackdown, an afternoon series in which amateur chefs cook up regular snacks with panache; and The Ex and the Why, a talk show allowing former lovers to air out their grievances over their past relationships in front of the world. [Deadline Hollywood]


BUSINESS TIME

... Shark Week is still swimming strong, and last night's kick-off drew the event's largest audience ever. Except it was for a fake show about a shark that no longer exists. Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives drew 4.8 million viewers (or roughly three Sharknados) to put itself atop the list of the most-watched Shark Week programming in history. However, the whole thing—which was presented as a real documentary with only a confusing disclaimer—was a sham starring actors lying about a monster shark biting whales in half and eating fishing boats. Discovery Networks is loving fake science lately; another bogus "doc," about mermaids, also earned huge ratings. This pisses me off. Now pardon me while I write my script for Megalodonado. [Discovery via press release]

... Disney's Teen Beach Movie isn't doing too shabby either. The made-for-cable movie is now the second most-watched cable movie of all time (right behind High School Musical 2) after raking in 13.5 million viewers once delayed viewing numbers were factored in. Though to be fair, when High School Musical came out, there weren't as many DVRs to bloat the numbers. Anyway, that won't stop Disney from ordering Teen Beach Movie 9 soon. You know what Teen Beach Movie 2 needs? A Megalodon. [The Wrap]

... The guys behind Last Resort are working on a new project at ABC. Karl Gajdusek and Shawn Ryan are teaming up for Freedom, a drama about a group of Ivy Leaguers who start the next activist movement against the government and corporate entities. Think Anonymous, but with fewer Guy Fawkes masks and hentai. It's always worth your time to keep an eye on anything Gajdusek writes, and this sounds a little more manageable than Last Resort was. [Deadline Hollywood]

... E! is working on a new reality series following super rich 20-somethings from Beverly Hills found on the Tumblr blog Rich Kids of Instagram and everything in this sentence makes me want to barf out of my butt. [Deadline Hollywood]

... ABC has announced the premiere dates for a couple of midseason series. Resurrection, an emotional drama about the dead coming back to life (but not wanting to eat you), will debut March 9 at 10pm, taking over for fellow new drama Betrayal after it finishes its run. I've seen the Betrayal pilot, and let me tell you, that piece of stinky garbage will not make it through its first season or I will eat my dirty underwear. Also getting a premiere date: the reality competition The Quest, which will feature contestants running around in a fake Middle Earth-type land, fighting fake monsters and saving fake princesses and yeah, I'm unreasonably excited for this nerd-fest. It starts January 2 at 8pm. [ABC via press release]


CASTING NEWS

... Ryan Seacrest needs to be working every minute of his life, so he has accepted the job as host of NBC's game-show experiment The Million Second Quiz. The series features contestants competing on a trivia show for 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds while they answer questions live from an hourglass-shaped structure in midtown Manhattan. A contestant who sits in the "money chair" will accrue 10 dollars for each second he occupies the seat, while another contestant sits opposite him. Viewers at home can also answer questions and face off against the person in the money chair by approaching the hourglass-shaped structure in person or answering questions online. None of that makes sense, sorry, I just copied the details from NBC. Anyway, Seacrest is hosting this ball of ridiculousness, which starts September 9. [NBC via press release]

... Jaime Pressly of My Name is Earl fame and I Hate My Teenage Daughter infamy is headed to *gulp* TV Land. Pressly will star in the multi-camera TV Land pilot Jennifer Falls, playing a mother who moves in with her own mother after getting laid off from a cushy job. Jennifer Falls is not to be confused with all the other new upcoming comedies about older people moving back in with their parents, but it should be. [TV Land via press release]

... All American Rejects frontman Tyson Ritter has landed a recurring role on NBC's Parenthood. He'll play a rocker with an attitude problem who records at The Luncheonette. [TV Line]

... Showtime's upcoming adult drama pilot The Affair has booked Maura Tierney as a nice lady who gets cheated on. She'll play the wife of Dominic West's character in the pilot about an affair that ruins a pair of marriages. How could anyone even pretend to cheat on Maura Tierney? She's adorable! Like two puppies made love and had a super puppy. [TV Line]

... FX's Anger Management found a replacement for the fired Selma Blair (don't you mess with, Charlie!) in Laura Bell Bundy. The blonde won a Tony for playing the lead in Legally Blonde: The Musical and has been featured in Hart of Dixie and How I Met Your Mother. [THR]

Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 1/25/2015

Season 2 : Episode 13

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