Road Rules

Season 4 Episode 7

Bee Stung Lips and Deserted Island Tips

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Aired Wednesday 10:30 PM Aug 18, 1997 on MTV - Music Television
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Bee Stung Lips and Deserted Island Tips
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Scott the photographer hands over a map that reveals the location of the next clue. Through the dark of night, Oscar, Jake, and Kalle race to X-marks-the-spot on a stretch of beach. Oscar unearths a glass jar filled with BEES and Kalle screams! Our fearless friends pile into their trusty left-handed jeep and head over to Otto's Bee Farm where hundreds, maybe thousands, of wood crates are piled and stacked all over the front yard. These crates are the little bee condos! Otto greets our brats, and it's handshakes all around. Otto is a gentle soul with a Caymanian accent so thick, you'll think you need an interpreter. Otto, clutching a little oil-can smoke machine, leads the nervous nellies over to a skyscraper of towering bee crates. He pumps the handle on his machine and explains that smoke keeps the bees away. Smoke gets in your eyes... Oscar takes control of the smoke machine as crazy glove-free Otto removes a frame from inside the top crate, explaining that this is where the honey is kept. (Funny, I always thought it was kept in a teddy-bear shaped dispenser in a cupboard over the microwave.) Meanwhile, hundreds of angry bees are buzzing everywhere; the sound is so loud, it's like a movie! Our cast is all prickly, just waiting to get stung. Suddenly, Oscar decides the bees are getting just a little too intimate; he makes a run for it. Of course, all the bees follow. Oscar spins out some modern dance moves, trying to throw the little critters off his trail, but they're smarter than him and he gets nailed in the head. Suddenly everyone decides those protective bee suits are rather attractive! Did you know the suits are smartly accessorized with matching helmets and gloves (for evening, of course)? But guess what? Otto has only four suits! Gulp. Jake volunteers to leave his lanky limbs naked. Our pals take their turns removing the honey frames. Otto instructs everyone to stay calm, but the bees must sense the terror. Jake is stung and before he can finish yelping, Vince is stung too; the stinger went right through his protective glove! Our queen bees, Erika and Kalle, remain unscathed. What's wrong, yellow jackets? Our girls not sweet enough for you? Otto congratulates the kiddies on a job well done and explains that their next clue is waiting inside one of the bee crates. Great. They yank the clue from the bee fortress: meet me for a three hour tour, Kenny. Also included are plane tickets to St. Thomas. Ciao Otto! The kids fly to St. Thomas and meet up with up with stocky survivalist Kenny and his sexy first mate, Vanya. Kenny briefs the kids: leave you gear on the dock, we're heading for a deserted island. How cool is that? All motor to the island where Kenny demonstrates how to snooze in a hammock, how to gulp the sweet milk of coconuts, and how to dive for luscious lobster. At a makeshift table, Kenny demonstrates how to remove conch from it's shell. (Conch is this disgusting snail that you can eat - if you're starving and have absolutely nothing else to eat.) Kenny chops off the conch's penis. Ouch. Without warning, Oscar gobbles the penis!! And you thought he only went for lovely ladies... Later that night, Kenny and Vanya bail, leaving the Road Rulers to fend for themselves. Daybreak. Vince is puking his guts out. And he didn't even eat conch penis! Adding to the fun is an approaching storm. Wait, it's not approaching. It's here! Everyone huddles under a plastic tarp as the tiny island is pummeled by heavy rain and whipping winds. Paradise, huh? Don't worry, they won't starve. There's plenty of cold, half-baked rice to go 'round. Daybreak. Yes, again. Erika spots a boat on the horizon. As the vessel nears, Vince recognizes... Can it be? I thought he was dead! It's Bob Denver!!!! That's right little buddy! Halle-fricking-lujah. We're saved. BOB DENVER lands and hugs our filthy, stinky cast. He hands over the next clue: as a reward for not dropping dead, the kids will be treated to a deluxe suite at a fabulous hotel where they will receive massages, facials, and all that other pampering type stuff. Can you say sea-weed wrap? They pack up camp and head back to the mainland, and not on the S.S. Minnow, by the way. Half way home, Bob Denvers's hat flies off his little gray-haired head. Oscar dives into the soup to rescue the precious garment. Yes, it's the same hat that Gilligan wore on the show. I know, you'd think it would have disintegrated by now. The boat docks and Bob Denver hands the punks yet another clue. It's a message in a bottle. The message is: come to Puerto Rico. Oscar's brain can barely take in the information. Yes, baby, you're going home! That afternoon, Jake and Kalle take a swim in the ocean and slip-n-slide against each other like two baby dolphins. Next, it's a post-swim power walk. Jake pops the question: will you get an AIDS test. What?! Me?! Kalle is shocked at the thought. She firmly reminds Jake that she does not fit into a high risk category. Jake shoots her right down, explaining that because she sexed it up with Brian unprotected, she is in fact HIGH RISK. Kalle reminds Jake that she and Brian were monogamous. Jake SAYS WHO! Good for you, Jakey! Kalle caves and agrees to have her blood drawn. Roll up your sleeve and make a fist... from MTV.commoreless

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