The Emperor: (On phone to Darth Vader) Vader! How's my favorite Sith? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just slow down. Huh? What do you mean, "They blew up the Death Star"? (Bleep)! Oh, (Bleep), (Bleep), (Bleep)! Who's "they"? What the hell is an "Aluminum Falcon"? (Sighs) Okay. Okay, so--so who's left? Are you sh(bleep)ng me? Well where are you? Wait a sec, you've been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal? Ugh, you must smell like...feet wrapped in leathery...burnt...bacon. Oh, oh, oh. I'm-I'm sorry I thought my "Dark Lord of the Sith" could protect a small thermal exhaust port that's only two meters wide. The thing wasn't even fully paid off yet! Do you have--Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my credit?
(Another line on the phone rings.)
The Emperor: Uhh! Hang on, I got another call. (switches phone line) WHAT?! I'm very busy right now!...Oh. Oh, well...well where are they going? Huh, all right, um...get me a turkey club. Uh...coleslaw, I guess. I'm-I'm not even gonna eat it. Well wha-wha-what are you getting? Yeah, see? I-I always order the wrong thing. No, no, no, I'll just stick with that. Okay, bye--wait, what? Oh, uh, Cherry Coke. Thanks.
(The Emperor switches back to Darth Vader's phone line.)
The Emperor: Sorry about that. (Sighs) What? Oh, oh, "Just rebuild it"? Oh, uh huh, how real (Bleep)ing original! And who's gonna give me a loan, jackhole? You? You got an ATM on that torso LiteBrite? Now, get your seven-foot-two asthmatic ass back here, or I'm gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about "Pound-a-mommy" or "Panda Bear" or whatever the hell her name is!