Robson Arms

Season 1 Episode 4


Aired Friday 10:30 PM Jun 25, 2005 on CTV

Episode Recap

The camera pans over the city and hones in on Robson Arms. We see Grandma Tan doing a tea-leaf reading for a man (Eric McCormack), who is telling her, "I'm not gay; I'm married!"; then moves on to Geoff and Stanley's apartment where Geoff is making drinks, Stanley is asleep; then moves on to Fred's apartment where Fred is sitting in front of his computer screen, setting up to receive a video. There is a girl in the video, and she tells Fred that he's cute. He's surprised by this, and asks, "Really?" He then remembers himself and tells her that she's cute too. They talk a bit, but then she tells him that it's almost midnight where she is and she has to go. After she signs off, Fred saves the video clip of their conversation.

Fred is in bed with his lap-top propped up beside him. On the screen is the girl that he was talking to earlier, and the clip that keeps repeating is her saying, "I can't wait to see you again." Fred is masturbating.

The next morning, Fred eats his breakfast and gets ready for work. His computer screen still shows the girl's face. Fred prints out a copy of her picture to take to work with him.

At work, Fred has the picture hanging on the wall of his cubicle. A co-worker stops by and asks who the girl is. Fred tells him that it's Kelly, his girlfriend, but the co-worker doesn't believe him. Fred says that she's in Newfoundland, and his co-worker asks how the two of them met. Fred finally admits that they met on the internet, and the co-worker is incredulous. He tells Fred that this girl might not even be a girl; she could be anyone or anything.

Fred is at home, talking to Kelly with a video link-up. She tells him her good news - she's been accepted to a cooking school in Vancouver! Fred asks where she'll be staying, she tells him that she was hoping she could stay with him. Fred seems a little reluctant, but agrees. They agree to email each other the details and sign off.

At work, Fred's co-worker suggests that this "girl" might actually be a 300 pound deviant, telling Fred that the internet is nothing but a huge witness relocation program. He then asks what the girl knows about Fred, and Fred says that he's been honest with her. His co-worker asks if she knows that Fred is bilingual -- that he speaks English and Klingon; if she knows about his wonderful I.T. job as a data-entry clerk; and most of all, if she knows about his brain in a jar?

Fred is in his apartment, talking to the brain in a jar. He's telling it, "You just can't stay's only for a little while." He puts the brain in the closet. A few seconds later, he wheels it out again, then stands in front of the mirror, practicing introducing himself and the brain to Kelly.

Fred is at Yuri's apartment, asking Yuri to just tell Kelly that he's out of town. Yuri refuses to lie for Fred, telling him that his mother gave him values, and that they had nothing to do with liars. Fred gives up on his idea to have Yuri lie for him, and as he walks away, Yuri yells after him not to even think about slipping out.

Kelly is at the main door to Robson Arms, buzzing Fred's apartment. Fred is inside, looking frantic. Outside, Stanley and Geoff are entering the building, and when they open the door, Kelly follows them in, walking by a sign on the bulletin board warning tenants not to let strangers in.

In Fred's apartment, he hears the locks on his door start to turn. He grabs a bottle of water, and pours it over his head. When Kelly walks in, she sees him standing there, fully clothed, dripping with water. He claims that he didn't hear her buzzing because he was in the shower, then asks how she got in. Yuri appears in the hallway, holding up his master key.

Kelly and Fred are eating dinner. She compliments him on the pizza pockets that he made. He tells her that he thinks in the future, all food will be in pocket form. Kelly thinks this is funny and laughs -- she has a braying laugh, which shocks Fred. She then notices that he has an X-Box, and a Dead Or Alive 3 game. They start playing, and she beats him. As Fred makes them a snack, she puts her bags in the closet to get them out of the way and sees the brain in a jar.

Fred is at work, eating lunch with his co-worker and telling him about Kelly finding the brain. Fred says she was freaked out, and the co-worker says that women just don't get the "brain-in-a-jar" thing. Fred says that he's proud of it, and that it cost him $800.00 because it's from "Alien Mind Probe." Then he starts telling his co-worker about Kelly's faults - that the whole apartment shakes when she blows her nose, and that she's clumsy. The co-worker has possible explanations for these faults, but is left without anything to say when Fred tells him that "She laughs like Francis The Talking Mule."

Fred comes home from work, only to find his apartment filled with smoke. Kelly has tried to cook dinner, and burnt it beyond recognition. Fred pokes at it and asks how something can be burnt and frozen at the same time? Kelly is nervous and drops a pot on the floor. She suggests that there's something wrong with the stove.

Fred and Kelly eat dinner -- pizza pockets again. Kelly tells Fred that she's not very good in the kitchen. He asks her about the brain in a jar, and her reaction to it, and she says it's ok, she was just a little surprised. Fred says that women just don't get it, and she demonstrates that she does get it, but tells him that she disagrees, and thinks that the purpose of things is not to disconnect but to connect. She drops some more things, then the two leave the table to play more video games.

This time, Fred wins the game, and jumps around the living room victoriously. Kelly challenges him to a "real-time" fight, and the two play-wrestle, ending up rolling around on the floor, then lying on the sofa. Kelly starts laughing, which causes Fred to pull back. She gets up and runs across the room to stand beside the brain in a jar, which makes Fred extremely nervous. Knowing how clumsy she is, he asks her to move away from the brain, but she doesn't. He asks her again, and when she still doesn't but continues laughing, he tells her to stop laughing because she sounds like a mule. Kelly, very hurt by this, goes into the next room and slams the door.

At work, Fred discusses the situation with his co-worker. His co-worker tells him that he blew it, but that it's ok, because it's not like Fred really liked her or anything. Fred insists that he did, but his co-worker tells him that he sabotaged the relationship; if he'd really liked the girl, he wouldn't have done that. He tells Fred that he can't afford to be picky. This causes Fred to blow up, telling his co-worker, "if there's anyone who knows less about women than me, it's you!" As the co-worker leaves Fred's cubicle, he tells Fred that he'd take the live woman over the picture, every time.

Fred returns to his apartment and finds Kelly packing her suitcase. She thanks him for letting her stay; he asks her not to leave. He grabs the suitcase from her in an attempt to stop her from going, but she tells him that it's ok, not everyone like everyone else; Fred likes her at a distance, but that's not the real her. Fred kisses her, she takes her suitcase and leaves. Fred throws his jacket in frustration; it hits the brain in a jar, knocking it over and breaking the jar. The brain goes skidding across the floor as Fred stands there and stares at it in shock.

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