Roseanne Season 6 Episode 23

Dan: Roseanne...Your mother is never going to slip and fall in the shower again, you know why? Because when she gets all better and goes home, I'm going to sew non-slip appliques on the bottom of her feet!

Roseanne: Mom, I just want you to know that if you need to speak to a doctor, I can arrange it.
Bev: Uhh..well, thank you dear!
Roseanne (telling Jackie): I just had the same sex talk with her that she had with me.

(During the whole conversation Roseanne is obviously uncomfortable)
Roseanne: You've never had any good uh....sexual expierences.
Bev: You're father was good in the sense he never took longer than the commercials.
Roseanne: That's terrible.
Bev: Lovemaking is for men they enjoy it very much but I just as soon be kniting.
Roseanne: Well it can be enjoyable for you, mom, it can be really enjoyable. All's you need is a partner that's giving and caring and I really think Jake is like that.
Bev:So....you like it?
Roseanne: (long pause, she looks away) Yeah mom I like it.

(After Bev broke her pelvis having sex)
Bev: It will never happen again I can tell you that much.
Roseanne: Oh, mom you never were a quitter.

Fred: Bev, do yourself a favor. Don't get into this.
Bev: Fred, I have every right to get involved in this. Unlike you, I am actually a member of this family.
Fred: If I ever become a member of this family, I can tell you one thing right now--the next time you break your pelvis having sex, you're not gonna stay at our house.

Jake: They called her... Craftmatic Adjustable BEV.