Roseanne Season 2 Episode 13

Jackie: (to Roseanne) Well Dan's going to be here and you're always saying how tactless he is.
Dan: (Dan just getting home, walking into the kitchen) Hi Jackie. How's the herpes?

Dan: Maybe you should quit that job.
Roseanne: And do what?
All the power jobs are taken. Margaret's runnin' England. Vanna's turnin' the letters over. And Delta Burke's got her own damn tv show.

Roseanne: Where's your brother?
Darlene: He's playing Hide and Go Seek.
Roseanne: With who?
Darlene: With you!

Brian: Look, I'm gonna tell you something right now, all right? That negative attitude of yours is gonna get you nowhere.
Roseanne: This is nowhere.

Roseanne: Would you mind getting dinner tonight?
Dan: What do I gotta do?
Roseanne: Okay, first you stand up. Then you go over to this cold box. (walks to the fridge) Brrr! (walks to the microwave) You take the food, and you trot it over here and put it in this hot box.
Dan: What was that middle part again?

Roseanne (Dan signals Roseanne's arrogant, teen-age, fast food boss to leave after humiliating her in her own home. Roseanne calls out to him one last time): Brian!... Would you like fries with that???(slams the door in his face)

(Roseanne's boss is telling the employees about the complaints regarding their speed.)

Brian: Now this is supposed to be fast food, people. And we can't exactly call it fast.
Roseanne: Why not? We call it food.

Roseanne: I've got two more pancakes here!
DJ: I want French Toast!
Roseanne: Well, you better move to Europe.

Roseanne: I guess you can catch more flies with manure, than with honey.

Crystal: You can use some work on your innerpersonal relationships.
Roseanne: Stick it!

Brian: You are paid to follow my orders. It isn't always pretty, but this is the buiness we've chosen.
Roseanne: You've got a big booger hanging out of your nose!