Roseanne Season 3 Episode 18

Roseanne: What I said was true, you know, but I might have been a little insensitive.
Dan: How unlike you.

(Roseanne and Dan are eating chicken noodle soup)
Dan: You have more noodles than I do.
Roseanne: I do not.
Dan: Yes you do, you just gave me chicken water.
(Roseanne spoons noodles out of her bowl and gives them to Dan)
Dan: Now I have too many.
Roseanne: Stay sick, Dan. Because as soon you're well, I'm going to kill you.

Roseanne (muttering to herself): He's thirty-seven years old, he gets a little flu, and he turns into a big baby.
Dan (from the other room): What?
Roseanne: I SAID, he's thirty-seven years old, he gets a little flu, and he acts like a total baby!
Dan: Oh, okay.

D.J.: You lied!
Roseanne: Okay, so it's not exactly like Pinnochio.
Darlene: You should've caught on when she told you that the Elephant Man was just like Dumbo.