Roseanne

Season 1 Episode 3

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

4
Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Nov 01, 1988 on ABC
8.8
out of 10
User Rating
97 votes

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Episode Summary

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D-I-V-O-R-C-E
AIRED:
It's Two for One Tuesday at the Landford Inn and Roseanne is planning a reservation. Dan, although not particularly happy, agrees to go with Roseanne to a nice dinner for two. While at the dinner, Roseanne & Dan discover an interesting piece of news about their old friend Patsy.moreless

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John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

Lecy Goranson

Lecy Goranson

Rebecca "Becky" Conner Healy

Todd Field

Todd Field

Charles

Guest Star

Patricia Gaul

Patricia Gaul

Patsy

Guest Star

Jamie Leigh Allen

Jamie Leigh Allen

Hostess

Guest Star

Natalie West

Natalie West

Crystal Anderson Conner

Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

FILTER BY TYPE

  • TRIVIA (1)

    • Thanks to Patsy, in this episode, this is the first time we discover that Roseanne has always dreamed of being a writer. Patsy refers to Roseanne talking about how she wanted to be a successful author during a summer barbecue.

  • QUOTES (10)

    • Roseanne: That's right Dan, restaurants don't serve married couples on Tuesdays.

    • (While Dan and Roseanne are out, the phone rings and Darlene picks up)
      Darlene: Hello?...Uh, they can't come to phone right now...They're in the shower...Yeah, both of them...Oh, for about two more hours...Okay, bye. (Hangs up)
      Becky: Who was that?
      Darlene: I don't know.

    • (Becky wants to babysit Darlene and D.J. while Dan and Roseanne go out)
      Becky: Cindy Clark's mom lets her babysit.
      Roseanne: Well Cindy Clark's mom is a drunken slut!
      (Later, as Dan and Roseanne are leaving)
      Becky: You know, Cindy Clark's mom pays her two dollars an hour for her to babysit.
      Roseanne: Well Cindy Clark's mom is a rich drunken slut!

    • (Darlene goes into the kitchen and gets a pan of popcorn out of the cabinet)
      Becky: What are you doing?
      Darlene: Making popcorn.
      Becky: Mom said we're not allowed to use the stove, remember?
      Darlene: I'm not gonna use the stove.
      Becky: What are you gonna do, eat it out of the pan?
      Darlene: (Sarcastically) No, I'm gonna take it outside and wait for a bolt of lightning to hit it.

    • Dan: Rosie, I've been thinking.
      Roseanne: Don't do that.

    • Jackie: (while reading the newspaper) Roseanne, listen to this. Utah housewife stabs husband 37 times.
      Roseanne: I admire her restraint.

    • Roseanne: If you even thought about [divorce], I'd have you hung up by your toes and tortured with bizarre liquid household products.

    • Roseanne: It's nice going to a restaurant that don't have a drive-thru.

    • Roseanne: I got myself one heck of a hot date here.
      Dan: Is he bigger than me?

      (At the end of the evening)
      Dan: I hope I can see you again.
      Roseanne: Well you can't. Because I'm happily married and madly in love with my husband.
      Dan: Is he bigger than me? He must be a lucky guy.
      Roseanne: Yeah, and he better not ever forget it either.

    • Roseanne: Face it, this marriage is like a life sentence with no hope for parole.

  • NOTES (0)

  • ALLUSIONS (5)

    • Dan: (to Roseanne who offers him more coffee in the restaurant) Hit me again, Trixie.

      Dan is making an allusion to Ed Norton and his wife, Trixie, two characters from the classic Jackie Gleason sit-com, The Honeymooners.

    • Jackie: (to Darlene, Becky, and DJ who won't let her into the Conner house to babysit) I've got better things to do than babysit the Three Little Pigs!

      Jackie is like the Big Bad Wolf seeking out the Three Little Pigs, an allusion to the children's classic story, "The Three Little Pigs".

    • Dan: (after phoning home to see if Jackie had arrived to babysit) I called. Everything is fine; Dopey finally showed up.

      Dan is making an allusion to Dopey, the dimwitted dwarf in Walt Disney's animated film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    • Dan: No, but, I've been thinking about all the couples we know. Almost all of them are divorced.
      Roseanne: Maybe we should try it.
      Dan: Maybe we should.
      Roseanne: Okay-- (crossing her arms in front of herself and giving her head a nod) There, we're divorced, Master!
      Dan: Thanks, Jeannie!

      Roseanne and Dan are making an allusion to the 1960's television sit-com, I Dream of Jeannie, starring Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman.

    • "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" is also the title of a classic country song recorded by Tammy Wynette. The parents in the song have to spell out words like "divorce" or "custody" because they don't want to upset their five-year-old son.

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