Season 1 Episode 3


Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Nov 01, 1988 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
93 votes

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Episode Summary

It's Two for One Tuesday at the Landford Inn and Roseanne is planning a reservation. Dan, although not particularly happy, agrees to go with Roseanne to a nice dinner for two. While at the dinner, Roseanne & Dan discover an interesting piece of news about their old friend Patsy.moreless

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  • Roseanne & Dan on date night leads to a surprising discovery with even more surprising questions.

    This roseanne episode makes me feel comfortable, yet I don't know why. Roseanne informs Dan she has a coupon for the Landford Inn (Two-for-Tuesday to be exact). Dan, very upset, agrees to go with Roseanne but makes a point to say he wont dance. In the meantime, Jackie is late to show up for babysitting the Conner kids, so Becky must take over. As the night continues, Roseanne and Dan run into an old friend, Patsy, who happens to tell them she has divorced her husband, Bob. This conversation leads Dan and Roseanne to question what would happen if the two of them split up. Jackie, after being ridiculously late, shows up to watch Becky, Darlene, and DJ but not until she can outsmart the kids and get inside the locked house. Finally, after more discussion, Roseanne & Dan discover that their marriage will last, sealing the night off with a dance.moreless
  • While out on "Date Night," Roseanne and Dan see an old friend who, much to their surprise, has divorced her husband. They wonder what their lives would be like if they hadn't married, or if they will ever conteplate divorce.moreless

    This is a GREAT episode. Roseanne continued to cultivate that comfortable, "We might not have it all, but "There's No Place Like Home (especially, the Conners' )" feel about the show. It could have all been happening in any one of our houses. All the little details (***subtle spoilers*** haircuts in the kitchen; Roseanne declining Becky's make-up pointers because she only wears it the way Dan likes it; Dan preferring clip-on ties; Darlene rifling through her mom's jewelry and then trying out her dress shoes; happy to be going to a restaurant without a drive-thru; Roseanne repeating the Home Alone Rules like a broken record: "No stove, no matches, no flames, no fire." (If I only had a dollar for every time I heard that as a kid... LOL!); and Jiffy Pop (just like the Conner kids, my sister and I were only treated to Jiffy Pop when my mom was out for the evening) worked so perfectly together to point the Wayback Machine viewers were subconsciously riding on while they were watching the program in a direction that made them capable of relating to Roseanne and Dan and the rest, so as to be right at home with them.

    A very, VERY good episode, indeed!moreless
  • Roseanne and Dan go to the Landford Inn.

    Roseanne and Dan go to the Landford Inn and since Jackie did show up, Becky gets to babysit. Roseanne and Dan meet a old friend and learn she'd gotten divorced and they start to think what would it be like if they got divorced. Finally Jackie shows up and later Roseanne and Dan come home.
John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

Lecy Goranson

Lecy Goranson

Rebecca "Becky" Conner Healy

Todd Field

Todd Field


Guest Star

Patricia Gaul

Patricia Gaul


Guest Star

Jamie Leigh Allen

Jamie Leigh Allen


Guest Star

Natalie West

Natalie West

Crystal Anderson Conner

Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • Thanks to Patsy, in this episode, this is the first time we discover that Roseanne has always dreamed of being a writer. Pasty refers to Roseanne talking about how she wanted to be a successful author during a summer barbecue.

  • QUOTES (10)

    • Roseanne: That's right Dan, restaurants don't serve married couples on Tuesdays.

    • (While Dan and Roseanne are out, the phone rings and Darlene picks up)
      Darlene: Hello?...Uh, they can't come to phone right now...They're in the shower...Yeah, both of them...Oh, for about two more hours...Okay, bye. (Hangs up)
      Becky: Who was that?
      Darlene: I don't know.

    • (Becky wants to babysit Darlene and D.J. while Dan and Roseanne go out)
      Becky: Cindy Clark's mom lets her babysit.
      Roseanne: Well Cindy Clark's mom is a drunken slut!
      (Later, as Dan and Roseanne are leaving)
      Becky: You know, Cindy Clark's mom pays her two dollars an hour for her to babysit.
      Roseanne: Well Cindy Clark's mom is a rich drunken slut!

    • (Darlene goes into the kitchen and gets a pan of popcorn out of the cabinet)
      Becky: What are you doing?
      Darlene: Making popcorn.
      Becky: Mom said we're not allowed to use the stove, remember?
      Darlene: I'm not gonna use the stove.
      Becky: What are you gonna do, eat it out of the pan?
      Darlene: (Sarcastically) No, I'm gonna take it outside and wait for a bolt of lightning to hit it.

    • Dan: Rosie, I've been thinking.
      Roseanne: Don't do that.

    • Jackie: (while reading the newspaper) Roseanne, listen to this. Utah housewife stabs husband 37 times.
      Roseanne: I admire her restraint.

    • Roseanne: If you even thought about [divorce], I'd have you hung up by your toes and tortured with bizarre liquid household products.

    • Roseanne: It's nice going to a restaurant that don't have a drive-thru.

    • Roseanne: I got myself one heck of a hot date here.
      Dan: Is he bigger than me?

      (At the end of the evening)
      Dan: I hope I can see you again.
      Roseanne: Well you can't. Because I'm happily married and madly in love with my husband.
      Dan: Is he bigger than me? He must be a lucky guy.
      Roseanne: Yeah, and he better not ever forget it either.

    • Roseanne: Face it, this marriage is like a life sentence with no hope for parole.

  • NOTES (0)


    • Dan: (to Roseanne who offers him more coffee in the restaurant) Hit me again, Trixie.

      Dan is making an allusion to Ed Norton and his wife, Trixie, two characters from the classic Jackie Gleason sit-com, The Honeymooners.

    • Jackie: (to Darlene, Becky, and DJ who won't let her into the Conner house to babysit) I've got better things to do than babysit the Three Little Pigs!

      Jackie is like the Big Bad Wolf seeking out the Three Little Pigs, an allusion to the children's classic story, "The Three Little Pigs".

    • Dan: (after phoning home to see if Jackie had arrived to babysit) I called. Everything is fine; Dopey finally showed up.

      Dan is making an allusion to Dopey, the dimwitted dwarf in Walt Disney's animated film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    • Dan: No, but, I've been thinking about all the couples we know. Almost all of them are divorced.
      Roseanne: Maybe we should try it.
      Dan: Maybe we should.
      Roseanne: Okay-- (crossing her arms in front of herself and giving her head a nod) There, we're divorced, Master!
      Dan: Thanks, Jeannie!

      Roseanne and Dan are making an allusion to the 1960's television sit-com, I Dream of Jeannie, starring Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman.

    • "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" is also the title of a classic country song recorded by Tammy Wynette. The parents in the song have to spell out words like "divorce" or "custody" because they don't want to upset their five-year-old son.