Roseanne Season 2 Episode 23

Dan: Okay, give me the ball, I'll inbound it to you.
Roseanne: What's an inbound?
Dan: It's another word for sucker! (makes a basket)

Roseanne: How does it make you feel knowing Mom calls me all the time, and she never calls you.
Jackie: Lucky, honored, off the hook, free, thrilled, elated, glad that she's still alive, but I don't have to talk to her.

(After Dan walks in on Becky full out dancing to Pump up the Jam unaware of her dad's presence)
Dan: Hi.
Becky: What?
Dan: Can I come in, or do I have to get my hand stamped?

Roseanne: It's about your daughter upstairs feeling unwanted, unloved, and alone. And she ain't even married.

Roseanne: Where you going?
Darlene: Eh, to watch the game.
Roseanne: On T.V.?
Darlene: No, the Bulls and Nicks are actually coming over play in our living room... you wanna help me move the couch?
Roseanne: Yeah! We'll put it in your mouth.

Roseanne: Darlene honey, do you want to take walk with me down to the store later on?
Darlene: Gee, I'd love to Mom but I'd rather stay home and drill some screws into my toes.

Dan: Amazing! 200 miles away your parents can still ruin a weekend.

Roseanne: Do you think I expect more out of Becky?
Darlene: I think you expect Becky things out of Becky, like good grades.
Roseanne: Well, I expect good grades out of you too, I just never get 'em.

(Dan and Becky are at the mall)
Becky: Thank for, you know, coming.
(They hug)
Becky: I love you
Dan: Yeah, I know...
(opens wallet)
Dan: But here's a 10 spot for saying so.