Season 3 Episode 16


Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Feb 05, 1991 on ABC

Episode Recap

Dan and Roseanne are going through the mail. Dan and Roseanne receive something in the mail from Darlene's school. They give her a chance to admit what she did wrong. She confesses she skipped Spanish class. She is stuck doing dishes for an extra week. It turns out Dan was invited to speak at Career Day at Darlene's school. Becky comes home and sees Darlene wearing her clothes. Roseanne is angry that the school would only invite Dan to speak at Career day and not her…just because she is a housewife. Becky urges Roseanne to make an issue of it as revenge for Darlene wearing her clothes.
Jackie comes in with DJ who is carrying a paper sack. Jackie tells Roseanne that a bully is threatening to beat up DJ unless he brings the bully two Twinkies everyday. She bought DJ a box of Twinkies. Roseanne wants to call the school or the bully's parents but Dan thinks it is a bad idea. He wants to teach DJ self defense. Roseanne thinks DJ is too little but Jackie insists that it is not about size-she could even take Dan down. She tries and can't. Dan goes out to teach DJ.
Darlene is in home economics class when Roseanne comes in to be a guest speaker. Roseanne decides that the best way to teach them would be to take a fieldtrip to the grocery store the next day. Darlene is horrified.
The boys skip the trip to the grocery store and Roseanne coaches the girls how to feed a family of five on a tight budget. They pick up the ingredients to make a meatloaf. They all head off to the Conners' home where Roseanne tells them how to make dinner.
Becky comes in and tells them that someone is there. It is the father of the bully, who complains that his son came home with a fat lip and a threat to bring in two Twinkies or DJ will beat his son up again. DJ explains that he has been giving Maxine Spencer a Twinkie a day to be his bodyguard. The bully's dad tells DJ to call it off, but Roseanne tells him not until his son leaves DJ alone. The guy gets hostile with Roseanne and Dan tells him to settle down or he will give Roseanne a donut to kick his butt. Darlene comes out and tells Roseanne that she learned how hard Roseanne works. Finally, dinner is ready.
Jackie sneaks up and tries to attack Dan, with no success. The episode ends.