Roseanne

Season 6 Episode 22

I Pray the Lord My Stove to Keep

2
Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM May 03, 1994 on ABC
8.7
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Episode Summary

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I Pray the Lord My Stove to Keep
AIRED:
Darlene discovers that D.J. has been sneaking off after to school to attend church; D.J. gives Roseanne a hard time about morals when she accepts a mistaken delivery of a second stove at the diner.

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John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

Pat Bullard

Pat Bullard

deliveryman

Guest Star

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

George

Guest Star

Mickey Robins

Mickey Robins

deliveryman

Guest Star

Johnny Galecki

Johnny Galecki

David Healy

Recurring Role

Martin Mull

Martin Mull

Leon Carp

Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (11)

    • DJ: Doesn't Leon know that you got another stove before this one?
      Roseanne: (Whispers) Of course not!
      DJ: But, you said it was only OK with God to cheat a big company who'd cheated you. But you aren't giving Leon any of his money.
      Roseanne: (Sternly) Listen to me DJ, In the Bible it states: 'Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's', OK? Doesn't say one damn thing in there about rendering nothin' unto Leon.
      DJ: But, Mom -
      Roseanne: (Exasperated) No DJ! Would you get off my back? Even God took a day off!

    • (at the dinner table)
      DJ: How come we never say grace?
      Darlene: Because DJ, grace is for those who are thankful.

    • Roseanne: Darlene, I'll let you off work if you do me a favor.
      Darlene: Oh forget it, I am not gonna spy on my brother and rat him out.
      Roseanne: What?!
      Darlene: I'm just kidding. I'd love to.

    • Roseanne: Hey, this is about twice the price you guys advertised.
      Deliveryman: Well you didn't read the fine print. We only sell the first ten at that price. You must be new at this.
      Roseanne: No, I'm not new at this. I've been screwed over before.

    • DJ: I just had some questions about God and stuff.
      Roseanne: Well why didn't you come to us if you had questions? There are no two better people to answer your questions than me and your dad.
      DJ: OK... what religion are we?
      Roseanne: I have no idea...Dan?
      Dan: Well... my mom's mom was Pantacostal and Baptist on the side of my dad. Your mom's mom was Lutheran and her dad was Jewish.
      DJ: So what do we believe?
      Roseanne: Well, we believe in ...being good. So basically we're good people.
      Dan: Yeah, but we're not practicing.

    • (DJ's been going to church)
      Roseanne: Where have you been going everyday after school? And remember God will punish you if you lie.
      Dan: Roseanne...
      Roseanne: Hey we got it, we may as well use it.

    • (David talking to DJ about the nose ring he got)
      David: You know DJ, I respect your beliefs and if you believe that a man's body is his temple and should not be disrepected by something like, I don't know, maybe a nose ring, just tell me and I'll take it out.
      DJ: No I don't believe that, but I do want you to stop having sex.

    • DJ: Well I don't think Darlene and David should be having sex without being married.
      Roseanne: David, would you like to take that?
      David: Um...well you see DJ, love is a...a holy thing.
      Darlene: Stop speaking David.

    • Roseanne: Would you get off my back, DJ? Even God took a day off!

    • D.J: Dad, do you believe in God?
      Dan: Yes I do.
      D.J: Are you sure?
      Dan: Well I'm not completly sure but I'm pretty sure.
      D.J: I'm afraid if you're not completly sure you won't go to heaven.
      Dan: That's ok, I'd prefer to stay with your mother.

    • Darlene: Do you want to know why I swear, DJ?
      DJ: Why?
      Darlene: Shut the hell up!

  • NOTES (0)

  • ALLUSIONS (2)

    • Dan mentions that his family follows Pat Robertson around like he is the greatful dead.
      Pat Robertson is a televangelist and host of TV's The 700 Club.

    • The episode title is an allusion to a popular prayer with the line "...I pray the Lord my soul to keep."

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