Season 3 Episode 3

Like, a Virgin

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Oct 02, 1990 on ABC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Like, a Virgin
Roseanne decides it's time to give Becky "the talk" when she sees that Becky is getting more and more attention from the boys. Yet it is Darlene that is kissing, and having a boyfriend, to her mom's surprise.

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  • Very good

    So Roseanne thinks its about time to give Becky the 'talk' which leads to one of the funniest Becky moments ever 'I'm just going to go upstairs and jump up and down now' Just watch the episode and you'll get it.

    Most of the laughs come from Roseanne catching Darlene hooking up with some boy she was watching the Basket Ball with. 'Hi mummy' Darlene squeaks innocently upon being caught.

    I also love Dan's reaction. He wasn't in the room when they caught them and when the boy leaves and Darlene goes upstairs Roseanne tells him that they were making out and Dan lets out a hysterical laugh. It was just too funny. Fantastic Episode.moreless
  • Perfect. Something spectacualar, and something that you would not expect form this series. My favorite episode by far.

    Becky is going on a date with an older boy, and so Dan thinks that Roseanne should give a little talk to Becky about birth control.After her little talk, Roseanne tells Becky that it doesn't work if you jump up and down after sex. That it has nothing to do with not getting pregnant. Then Becky gets in a fight with Darlene, which is nothing new. She accuses Darlene of never having kissed a boy, and then Darlene replied back to her,"Well as if i don't have enough spit of my own." After Darlene invites a boy over to watch the game on tv after Dan and Roseanne have left to go to dinner, and Becky was on her date, she started to think about what Becky had said about her and kissing. Then she got onto the subject of cheerleaders with Brad(the boy who came over) and she kissed him for saying that he didn't think that he liked the cheerleaders, and then they started to sort of get into the mood, and started to make out. Meanwhile, about an hour later, Roseanne, Dan, and Jackie arrive at the back door that goes through to the kitchen, and then Roseanne says"look. Becky got back from her date, and she is in the living room." Then, they all walk into the living room, and flipped the light switch, only to their horror to find Darlene was there instead on Becky. Then, Brad says that he had better get going, and Dan, not knowing what they had been doing, told him goodbye and told him to come back soon. Then as soon as Darlene leaves the room, Jackie said"did yousee her shirt, like how it wasn't there all night?" and, Dan overhearing this, came into the living room from the kitchen and was storming mad. After a few minutes of Dan venting to Roseanne and Jackie, Becky walks into the room from her date, and starts to go upstairs, but then stops to say,"I think that i will just go upstairs and jump up and down now." Then Jackie thinks that it would be a good idea if Roseanne gives the same talk to Darlene that she gave to Becky earlier, But only more. The whole thing. Not just birth control, but sex and all. So she goes upstairs only to find Becky giving boy advice to Darlene, and walks into the room saying "aww look at my girls." Then she starts to deliver her speach, and the girls fill her in on a few things since she doesn't know how to say them. In all, Roseanne was sad that both of her girls were growing up so fast.moreless
  • A very entertaining episode that has Roseanne dealing with not only her oldest daughter growing up, but her younger daughter growing up a little faster then she expected.

    When Becky is going on a date with an older guy, Roseanne decides it's time to give her daughter a little talk about safe sex and birth control. The conversation is entertaining, especially with Jackie's input ("Fort-Knox security at a price you can afford!")

    After being teased by Becky, Darlene decides she wants to try kissing with her friend Brian, and ends up getting caught by her parents. After this, Roseanne decides maybe it's time for Darlene to hear the same talk.

    After some advice from Jackie, Roseanne decides to talk to her daughters about actual sex, not just birth control, and is very uncomfortable doing so. Not being sure quite what to say, her daughters are able to fill in the missing pieces of the conversation, and they all decide to call it a good conversation.

    Jackie and Dan really make the episode superb, with Jackie playing the sex ed teacher to Becky, and Dan's reaction to finding out about Darlene making out with her friend is hilarious. Another great episode in a great season.moreless
John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Lecy Goranson

Lecy Goranson

Rebecca "Becky" Conner Healy

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • In this episode Becky makes a comment saying that Darlene has never kissed anybody. But in the episode House of Grownups from season 2, Darlene said she kissed Mark Winston at her baseball game after he saved her shutout.

    • In the scene where Roseanne and Darlene are talking in the girl's bedroom, you can plainly see the sun in the window but the scene is supposed to be taking place at night.

  • QUOTES (12)

    • Dan: Darlene! Get down here!
      Roseanne: Dan, that's not going to help.
      Dan: Not in this house it won't, you know the rules no boys will touch my daughters in my house
      Roseanne: That won't do anything, the only thing that'll do is make sure she has a family of four by the time she graduates High School!
      Darlene: Yeah?
      Dan: Get back upstairs!

    • Jackie: Did you notice how her blouse was a little bit...
      Roseanne: ... like it hadn't been on her back all night?

    • Dan: I'm going to go see that Brian gets home safely.
      Roseanne: Yeah, there might be some big guy in a truck trying to run him over.

    • Brian: Well I guess the cheerleaders are kind of stupid.
      Darlene: Hey Brian (kisses him)
      Brian: Wh-what was that for?
      Darlene: For saying the cheerleaders are stupid.
      Brian: Oh, I don't think they're stupid. I think they're complete morons.

    • Dan: Geez, how come we can't ever do anything fun with Gary and Jackie?
      Roseanne: Because they're family.

    • Roseanne: Listen girls (pause) sex, is something that is not even gonna be good until you're, you know, older.
      Becky: Mother.
      Roseanne: No, no we never really talked about sex and I think we should have that discussion now.
      Darlene: Alright, go ahead.
      Roseanne: (runs her hand over her face as she talks) Well, uh...if you were to it now sure you were to have some pleasure but it would be alot better...
      Darlene: What you're tryin' to say is that we're far to young to be going all the way.
      Becky: Both you're body and mind have to reach a certain maturity.
      Roseanne: Yeah...
      Darlene: And you don't wanna regret it later.
      Becky: And hey you have to love the guy.
      Darlene: You have to respect him or it's meaningless.
      Roseanne: Yeah and you'd have to make sure that...
      Roseanne & Darlene: And he needs to respect you.
      Roseanne: Well I guess I fell real good about our little chat here you guys feel good about it?
      Darlene: Absoulty.
      Becky: Definatly.
      Roseanne: That's great, good night, I love you.
      (Roseanne leaves)
      Becky: How lame.

    • (Roseanne just caught Darlene making out with Brain on the couch)
      Roseanne: Darlene!
      Darlene: (in little girl's voice) Hi, Mommy.

    • (About birth control)
      Becky: But doesn't all that stuff like kill the mood?
      Roseanne: Not as much as a screamin' baby with a loaded diaper.

    • Becky: You haven't even been kissed!
      Darlene: Like I don't have enough spit of my own.

    • (after Becky comes home from her date and Darlene asks if they kissed)
      Darlene: Did you get felt up?
      Becky: (shocked) No!
      Darlene: (smiles) Ha. I did.

    • Roseanne: Face it, Dan. Your son's becoming a woman.

    • Dan: I used to have a friend that told girls if they jumped up and down after sex, they wouldn't get pregnant.
      (Becky gets home from her date.)
      Becky:I 'm going up to my room and jump up and down now.

  • NOTES (0)