Roseanne Season 7 Episode 1

Dan: Some things are best kept between a husband, and a wife,
Roseanne: Cool, which one do you wanna be?

Fred: With the baby in here, I haven't had a decents night sleep since he was born.
Jackie: Well, we'll just give him up for adoption, Lord KNOWS you need your sleep.

Dan: Since when does a crowd bother you, we did it at a Grateful Dead Concert!
Roseanne: That was nearly two years ago, I think we've grown up a little, since then.

Roseanne: Well, I'm sorry Ralph, you can't stay here. You'll have to tell your parents that Mr. Conner is on a bender.

Mark: Man, this thing that I have, is really the worst.
Darlene: Wouldn't you be more comforatble just sitting right on top of my plate?

Roseanne: Oh, honey, it's your very first lady shaver. Pretty soon, you'll start to get monthly visits from your special friend.

Mark: I'm sorry for making you sick Mrs. Connor.
Roseanne: Oh it's not your fault Mark, Becky never should'a married you.

(discussing why she doesn't want to kick becky and Mark out)
Roseanne: Well, I just hate to see them struggle.
Dan: Fair enough - we won't visit them.

(To Mark and Becky)
Dan: We were just wondering whatever happened to that plan you guys had about finding some other place to live. (smiles)
Becky: It wasn't really a plan, more like a long range dream.
Roseanne: Well congratulations kids. Your dreams are about to come true.

DJ: You promised I could have friends sleep over.
Roseanne: Well I didn't mean it. I thought you were just bluffin' when you said you had a friend.

(Everyone is fighting about where to sleep because there are too many people in the house)
David: I'll just move down in the basement with Darlene.
Roseanne: Oh Yeah and why don't you just bang on the ceiling if you have trouble unfastening her bra.
Darlene: Cool I thought she'd say no.
Roseanne: She did.

Mark: God! Everyone's so afraid I'm gonna make 'em sick, no one will come near me. I feel like a leopard.