Season 9 Episode 9


Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Nov 19, 1996 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
87 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Roseanne battles a group of women-hating terrorists who hold her family and a foreign diplomat hostage on a train to Washington, D.C.

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  • Worst Episode

    Worst episode in the entire series, this episode is point less and plot deprived.
  • Jumped the shark by ripping off Steven Seagal

    While the ninth season is ripped to part, you can at least partially see what Roseanne as creator, writer and actress was trying to do: continue to push the boundaries and concepts of the show. Allowing the blue collar family to win the lottery and following the effects is an interesting premise. But the effects continued to escalate in such absurd ways that led to this horrible episode.

    While on a trip from Boston to Washington DC, the family's train is taken over by a hostile gang from a made up foreign country. While the family and the hostile's target are grouped together, Roseanne escapes and takes on the villains with clichs from too many action movies to count. Utilizing weapons like hot curlers, walking the top of a speeding train, demonstrating acrobat skills neither the character or actress of Roseanne could EVER demonstrate, the entire episode is completely absurd. The closest comparison is a fan fic writer given complete control over a project, until you realize that is essentially what this episode is. An over glorified Mary Sue tale of an unstoppable hero against a pathetic batch of inept villains.

    The shows only saving grace is Glenn Quinn, who still delivers his usual lines that demonstrate Mark's lack of intelligence while trying to be the strong one for the family without Roseanne or Dan present. He also gets to help out Roseanne. Also, Laurie Metcalf is allowed to go into a completely panicked Jackie freak out which she does so well.

    This episode is the worst example of the show 'Roseanne' leaning too much on gimmick and guests, as immediately after this episode there was quick attempts to return the show to a more relatable status quo but the damage was done.moreless
  • Lucy she ain't

    Okay, let's just accept that this episode was one of those where a series goes a bit silly, just for the fun of it. A fantasy episode that has little to do with the rest. Well, it still doesn't work. This could have been a three-minute skit on Saturday Night Live. They might have just pulled it off. But this feels like a very bad I Love Lucy imitation. The bad guys are cartoon villains from a made-up country, so the danger never feels real. You could imagine Lucille Ball trying to fight/mislead them, but she would have done it with panache and well-timed physical comedy. The physical comedy and the stunts here are embarrassingly bad, and Roseanne can be blamed for that. And if this had been a Lucy episode, Lucy would have had Ethel/Vivian work along with her. The secondary characters of Roseanne's show are all held hostage in a separate car so Roseambo could shine on her own. Sad.moreless
  • Season 9 so unbareable to watch

    I've been having a Roseanne marathon for the past month, and Season 9 is so difficult to watch. It almost feels as if they have run out of ideas and are using guest stars, and plots that have nothing to do with the show as an escape route. Because it's a marathon and I believe a marathon isn't a marathon unless all the episodes are watched, I literally have to force my self. There are some amazing episodes such as when Dan's mother comes to stay with them, or the birth of darlene's baby. I just wonder why they wasted the last season when they could've thought up new plots.moreless
  • Please stop saying "People didn't get season nine." We got it, and didn't like it!

    Since many of the episodes in season nine are downright boring, I always found this episode kind of entertaining. The problem, however, is that it continues the patter of season nine's "in your face, nuanced-free" writing. I am a die hard "Roseanne" fan; in fact, I think it's one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, but no matter how many times Roseanne or others say "people just didn't get it," season nine was just BAD. First off, how patronizing is it to think we "didn't get it." We got it because every episode had an agenda that was spelled out loud and clear. And I even agree with Roseanne's politics. What made this episode and many others from this season bad was how horrible the writing was. It was sitcom as a soapbox, which is the last thing "Roseanne" ever wanted to be about. I'm glad the final episode of the series saved the ridiculous lottery plot line slightly, but all the talent being wasted on some of this garbage was a bit sad, in my opinion.moreless
Ahmed Ahmed

Ahmed Ahmed


Guest Star

Gary Kasper

Gary Kasper


Guest Star

Lawrence-Hilton Jacobs

Lawrence-Hilton Jacobs


Guest Star

Glenn Quinn

Glenn Quinn

Mark Healy

Recurring Role

Estelle Parsons

Estelle Parsons


Recurring Role

Tyler Battaglia

Tyler Battaglia


Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • Near the end as each person takes a turn jumping from the train, the woman who was taken hostage by the terrorists whom took the tape off Roseanne steps up and is wearing a chicken shirt.

    • In this episode, Roseanne and the family are traveling with Dr. Bakshi, whom they met when visiting the Wentworths in the previous episode, on a trip via train. This truly makes no sense as to why they would be traveling with Dr. Bakshi on a trip, a man whom was simply a guest at the Wentworths studying in the United States on a fellowship from India who they had just met. In the episode it appears that they had accepted an invitation from Dr. Bakshi who presumably was just mentioning they could come along in passing. That explanation still seems rather soft.

  • QUOTES (4)

    • Roseanne: (facing a terrorist) You people are barbarians. In our country we don't need to spill blood to silence women. We do it with diet and fashion and psychiatrists!

    • Roseanne: (after dealing with a terrorist) That will teach you to mess with the mother of all mothers!

    • (The FBI has just rescued Roseanne from a train wreck by having her grab onto a tire swing attached to a helicopter.)
      Roseanne: (as the train explodes below her) Cleanup on aisle four!

    • DJ: I don't care what the neighbors say. You're the best mom in the world.

  • NOTES (1)