Season 9 Episode 9


Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Nov 19, 1996 on ABC

Episode Fan Reviews (11)

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out of 10
87 votes
  • Worst Episode

    Worst episode in the entire series, this episode is point less and plot deprived.
  • Jumped the shark by ripping off Steven Seagal

    While the ninth season is ripped to part, you can at least partially see what Roseanne as creator, writer and actress was trying to do: continue to push the boundaries and concepts of the show. Allowing the blue collar family to win the lottery and following the effects is an interesting premise. But the effects continued to escalate in such absurd ways that led to this horrible episode.

    While on a trip from Boston to Washington DC, the family's train is taken over by a hostile gang from a made up foreign country. While the family and the hostile's target are grouped together, Roseanne escapes and takes on the villains with clichs from too many action movies to count. Utilizing weapons like hot curlers, walking the top of a speeding train, demonstrating acrobat skills neither the character or actress of Roseanne could EVER demonstrate, the entire episode is completely absurd. The closest comparison is a fan fic writer given complete control over a project, until you realize that is essentially what this episode is. An over glorified Mary Sue tale of an unstoppable hero against a pathetic batch of inept villains.

    The shows only saving grace is Glenn Quinn, who still delivers his usual lines that demonstrate Mark's lack of intelligence while trying to be the strong one for the family without Roseanne or Dan present. He also gets to help out Roseanne. Also, Laurie Metcalf is allowed to go into a completely panicked Jackie freak out which she does so well.

    This episode is the worst example of the show 'Roseanne' leaning too much on gimmick and guests, as immediately after this episode there was quick attempts to return the show to a more relatable status quo but the damage was done.
  • Lucy she ain't

    Okay, let's just accept that this episode was one of those where a series goes a bit silly, just for the fun of it. A fantasy episode that has little to do with the rest. Well, it still doesn't work. This could have been a three-minute skit on Saturday Night Live. They might have just pulled it off. But this feels like a very bad I Love Lucy imitation. The bad guys are cartoon villains from a made-up country, so the danger never feels real. You could imagine Lucille Ball trying to fight/mislead them, but she would have done it with panache and well-timed physical comedy. The physical comedy and the stunts here are embarrassingly bad, and Roseanne can be blamed for that. And if this had been a Lucy episode, Lucy would have had Ethel/Vivian work along with her. The secondary characters of Roseanne's show are all held hostage in a separate car so Roseambo could shine on her own. Sad.
  • Season 9 so unbareable to watch

    I've been having a Roseanne marathon for the past month, and Season 9 is so difficult to watch. It almost feels as if they have run out of ideas and are using guest stars, and plots that have nothing to do with the show as an escape route. Because it's a marathon and I believe a marathon isn't a marathon unless all the episodes are watched, I literally have to force my self. There are some amazing episodes such as when Dan's mother comes to stay with them, or the birth of darlene's baby. I just wonder why they wasted the last season when they could've thought up new plots.
  • Please stop saying "People didn't get season nine." We got it, and didn't like it!

    Since many of the episodes in season nine are downright boring, I always found this episode kind of entertaining. The problem, however, is that it continues the patter of season nine's "in your face, nuanced-free" writing. I am a die hard "Roseanne" fan; in fact, I think it's one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, but no matter how many times Roseanne or others say "people just didn't get it," season nine was just BAD. First off, how patronizing is it to think we "didn't get it." We got it because every episode had an agenda that was spelled out loud and clear. And I even agree with Roseanne's politics. What made this episode and many others from this season bad was how horrible the writing was. It was sitcom as a soapbox, which is the last thing "Roseanne" ever wanted to be about. I'm glad the final episode of the series saved the ridiculous lottery plot line slightly, but all the talent being wasted on some of this garbage was a bit sad, in my opinion.
  • This is one of the best episodes of the ninth season! I loved it!

    I could tell not very many people liked this episode, but i did! One of the main things i like about the ninth season is the adventures. When they went to New York, New York, when they went to that vineyard,and when they were on this train to go to Washington, D.C. when they went on this big trips it just maked it seem alot 'funner' or whatever. also thought this episode was really funny too. like when Roseanne used a kitchen utinsil to rip the man's beard, that was really funny to me! and also when she changes into 'tough clothes' that was kind of funny too! but, all in all, i really liked this episode!
  • I feel I should write a review for this episode. I can't believe I'm saying this completely, but I feel I need to defend this episode. I wanted to point out a few things for Roseanne fans.

    Okay, so I've watched this episode several times now, and additionally the 9th season, trying to understand what the show and Roseanne were trying to accomplish. There has been a lot of controversy about the 9th season. Roseanne has said that people didn't understand it. I never disliked the 9th season as most do. Of course, it's not my favorite season as what I'd like to think an avid Roseanne fan, in fact I do rank it my least favorite season, but I do like it and respect what Roseanne was trying to do. I think to understand the 9th season you need to watch it as a spin-off of the entire show. I don't think people get it. After watching it now several times as I said, this season (and especially this episode), you have to watch as a dream sequence, or book as it is in this case, as all the episodes after they win the lottery leading up to the series finale are written with that intention in mind.

    This episode, especially, is kinda a joke. In Roseanne's infamous closing monologue of the series finale, she says she was so angry she "felt like a female Steven Seagal wanting to fight the whole world." That's all that this episode is about. It's creative. It's symbolic of Roseanne's reaction to Dan dying interwoven into an episode. I think Roseanne's intending to humorously poke fun at bad movies of past: putting on her fighter clothes (fighting terrorists with hair rollers and tampons), a bunch of male terrorists of different origins all with the same accent who are "women-haters" nonetheless (how much more Roseanne can you get), the family being taken hostage, jumping from a train, the INTENTIONALLY bad fight sequence between Roseanne and the head terrorist on top of the train. It's ALL supposed to be a joke, and is intentionally intended to be bad. This never happened to the Conners. They weren't taken hostage by terrorists. They never won the lottery. Dan never cheated on Roseanne. I agree this episode could have been better. Them traveling with Dr. Bakshi whom they just met when visiting the Wentworths seems a little soft, but it is supposed to be like that. It's not real. Parts of this episode, such as that, could've been done better. Overall, a bad television episode is just that, bad. This episode is intentionally written to be bad, and you can laugh at this episode, even though it may have been written better. Bev says to Roseanne clad in fighter clothes just as she breaks down the door to save them from the terrorists, "Roseanne that outfit is hardly slenderizing." You just need to take this episode in with a grain of salt. You can't just watch it on the surface or it won't make sense. This is NOT the Conner family. Everything is supposed to be a little off as what you're watching is a book Roseanne is writing. The 9th season, and in this case, Roseambo, is a creative symbolic joke interwoven into an episode using the characters of Roseanne you've grown to love.
  • I Liked It, wasn't the greatest, but not worth all the bashing. An episode that deserves bashing is a incredibly unfunny episode. This episode at least had a little humor to it. I have to say though it isn't my favorite storyline.

    I don't know why this episode receives so much bashing, I mean sure it's not a great episode, but it isn't completely horrible either! It is one of my most interesting episodes of season 9. Also by season 9 standards you have to give this episode at least a little credit for the one-liners. This episode is the bottom of the barrel for a show like Roseanne, but for normal television standards in isn't dreadful! My Favorite Part of the show had to have been when Roseanne was fighting the terrorists & she shot the tampon into his eye. The whole thing with the diplomat is just completely stupid & unnecessary for the show. Bottom of the Barrel!
  • Funny in all the wrong ways!

    I finally got to see this episode, I've heard so many bad things about it and I had no expectations of it being any good at all, and for the most part, that was true. The jokes are all really corny, the stunts are lame, it's painfully obvious when they use a stunt double, and everything is over-acted.

    However, despite all that, I was still entertained. It was just so cheesy and silly, I couldn't help but laugh at quite a few points in the episode. Not necessarily because what happened on the show was funny, but because I couldn't believe how cheeseball it all is!

    Roseanne saying a terrible one-liner after every punch was so lame, but that's the beauty of it. I'm still laughing thinking about how ridiculous it was.

    So I guess the trick is to not take this episode seriously, and you just may be entertained. Check it out sometime, if only to be thorough and see every episode once...
  • I wonder who's idea it was to write this episode. Its is the worst one of the whole series.

    I am an avid Roseanne fan and lover of the show, but this episode is truly horrid. What were they thinking when they filmed this episode? Everything about it is fake. I actually have to change the channel. It is a poorly written story line, with poorly performed stunts. It was almost like it was taken out of the early 1900's. If the producers were running out of ideas for the show, well they never should have shot this episode. Maybe if it would have been more realistic and believable, then it might not have been so bad to watch.
  • Worst moment of television ever.

    I finally caught this horrifically bad episode on syndication, excited to see why the ratings were so low for this particular episode. After finishing the episode, I still can't understand why it is syndication to begin. When people refer to the horrible 9th season of Roseanne, they might as well be referring to this episode. Not only are they in first class, painfully reminding us of the drastic changes in the show, but they are also happen to be hanging out with a diplomat. And why? We'll never know.
    Now to the terrorists. These guys represent all the stereotypes of the terrorist ever written; they are also the most ethnically diverse group of terrorists I\'ve ever seen, and yet they all have the same fake middle eastern accent.
    Now I give this episode a 1 instead of a 0 for ONE good joke for the entire episode. It's when the subservient middle easter women has to mumble through a choker and scarf and the subtitles don't match the mumblings. A cheap joke to be sure, but it did get a giggle out of me. But a sitcom should have more than one joke in a half hour.
    This episode makes me sad to see what this great show became in its disastrous final season.