Roseanne

Season 5 Episode 9

Stand on Your Man

1
Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Nov 17, 1992 on ABC
8.7
out of 10
User Rating
50 votes
1

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Episode Summary

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Stand on Your Man
AIRED:
It is Grand Opening Day at the Lunch Box, the diner that Roseanne, Jackie, Nancy and Bev have started together. After a long opening day, Roseanne is closing up shop, when a crazed man scares her. Realizing that they need protection, the ladies enroll in a self defense course. Nancy fends off Arnie, who wants her back even more, now that he knows that she is a lesbian.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • After a frightening encounter with a creep at the diner, Roseanne decides to take a women's self defense course with Jackie and Nancy. Meanwhile, Arnie is back in town and is trying to get Nancy back.moreless

    9.8
    Season 5 was full of great episodes, and this is one of them. The diner scene showed Roseanne's masterful ability to mix humor and seriousness. Steve Jones, of the Sex Pistols, makes a cameo appearance as the weirdo who confronts Roseanne as the diner. I wonder how many people recognized him. :)



    Lots of laughs in this one though, I think this is the funniest that Tom Arnold was on the show, the totally dumb, oblivious Arnie. I always laugh at the poker scene, when he flips out at Ty Tilden for saying he has a "straight". Also, Roseanne's "Nancy is a lesbian, and we have a new LensCrafters." line is a classic.



    The self defense class scene was also funny, I loved the look on Roseanne's face when the teacher pokes the guy in the eye socket. And of course, the last scene with Dan, "Is that a chicken?" The tag shows Arnie in the spaceship with the aliens that kidnapped him before, and they reprimand him for not getting the woman back for breeding. Michael Fishman then makes an out of character appearance, and refuses to leave because he didn't have enough scenes that episode. I laughed pretty hard at that.



    This is a great episode, I hope everyone gets to see it at some point, and if you don't have the Season 5 DVD yet, this episode is just one among many great ones that make it one of the top seasons of the show.moreless
John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

Terri Treas

Terri Treas

Jane/female instructor

Guest Star

Doug Feiger

Doug Feiger

Nick

Guest Star

Clinton Allmon

Clinton Allmon

Alien #1

Guest Star

Tom Arnold

Tom Arnold

Arnie Thomas

Recurring Role

Wings Hauser

Wings Hauser

Ty Tilden

Recurring Role

James Pickens Jr.

James Pickens Jr.

Chuck Mitchell

Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (2)

    • In the CODA, Tom Arnold steps out of his role as Arnie to speak with Michael Fishman aboard the spaceship that has kidnapped Arnie. Tom asks Michael if he has seen his new show The Jackie Thomas Show.

    • Roseanne lifts a phone from under the counter at the "lunch box" to make a phone call. You can clearly see there is no cord plugged in.

  • QUOTES (6)

    • Roseanne: (to Dan) Get me a beer. And when I'm done I'll let you crush the can.

    • Roseanne: See that sticker over there on the door? "This premises protected by the Lantron Security Alarm Systems."
      Dan: Where'd you get that?
      Roseanne: I stoled it.

    • Roseanne: Darlene, take this and get some napkins.
      Darlene: I can't buy napkins with 50 cents.
      Roseanne: Sure you can, you go to that chicken joint and order a soda, and then steal all their napkins.
      Darlene: Anything else I can get you? Spoons, forks, a chair?

    • Roseanne: Well, Arnie, a lot of things have changed in this town since you left.
      Arnie: Oh yeah, like what?
      Roseanne: Well, Nancy is a lesbian, and we have a new lenscrafters.
      Dan: Woah, woah, ...come again?
      Roseanne: That's right Dan, contact lenses and glasses in less than an hour!

    • Dan: Have you considered getting a gun for the diner?
      Roseanne: Oh, there's a great idea. A loaded gun in the same room as my mother and my sister. What if they miss eachother and kill a customer?
      Dan: Then they'll have to reload.

    • (Watching a karate instructor break boards with his head)
      Roseanne: God, buy a saw.
      Karate Instructor: With a mouth like that, you need self defense.
      Roseanne: Normally I'd get offended at that, but I'd hate for the last thing I ever see to be his forehead coming at me.

  • NOTES (0)

  • ALLUSIONS (1)

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