Roseanne Season 7 Episode 23

Jackie: And Fred just sat there in the office like a deer caught in the headlights!
Roseanne: I love that look on a man.

Roseanne: (on DJ's new girlfriend Lisa) Boys pushing girls around, that's a step back, but girls pushing boys around? Now, that's the future.

Jackie: I'm just waiting for you to say 'You may be right Jackie'.
Roseanne: Yea, well I'm just waiting for chocolate air!

(to Jackie)
Roseanne: I don't boss Dan around...I'm trying to put him in touch with his submissive side!

Roseanne: Go to your room.
DJ: For how long?
Roseanne: Bring a shaver.

(Jackie & Fred are at a therapist)
Dr.: If it's o.k with you, I'd like to tape record this session. I kinda like to play it back to my friends.

(tells Lisa)
Roseanne: Now, you don't wanna take all of the bite outta your guy! You still want him to be able to bark at strangers!

Roseanne: If you start sitting around the campfire, telling scary stories, change our names!

Lisa: Hey Doufas!
DJ: We have lots of lil play names for each other.
Roseanne: What do you call her?
DJ: Lisa.

(DJ's date walks into the Conner house)
Lisa: Well, it's pretty much what I expected.

(After D.J.'s girlfriend leaves)
Jackie: What was that?
Dan: I don't know, but the Dark Prince takes many forms.

David: I thought you hang out with her because she slips you the tongue.
DJ: Yeah, but I'm not going to tell THEM that!