Season 1 Episode 12

The Monday Thru Friday Show

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Jan 24, 1989 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Darlene: (after eventually being fired from the paper route, Darlene is asked by Roseanne to discuss with her parents what happened) I figured a paper route was an easy way to make some money.
      Dan: Haha Darlene, there's no easy way to make money. If there was, your mother would've found it by now.

    • Dan: (taking a brochure out of his pocket) What's this in my pocket? It could be, it might be, it is. Holy cow, it's a honeymoon! (opening the brochure for Roseanne to look at) Why yes. It's paradise.
      Jackie: Ohh, another guy that thinks he's got paradise in his jeans.
      Roseanne: Yeah, paradise lost.

    • Jackie: You know what'd be my idea of a perfect honeymoon?
      Roseanne: Uh, Mel Gibson and a stick of butter.

    • Roseanne: Two customers have already started calling for their papers.
      Darlene: Damn!
      Roseanne: Well there's no need to cuss for hell's sake.

    • Becky: I still can't believe I got a C.
      Roseanne: Well Becky, if all you cared about was getting an A, you would've gone in there and chopped up that frog, but instead you did the right thing.
      Becky: If I did the right thing, how come I feel so lousy?
      Roseanne: Well...maybe it's your body rejecting the C.

    • Roseanne: Those frogs are already dead when you cut them up.
      Becky: But if I didn't have to cut it up, mine wouldn't have to die.
      Jackie: Sounds like you got it figured out.
      Becky: Yeah but if I don't do it, it'll bring my A average down to a C.
      Roseanne: Well if you feel that strongly about something, don't do it (the dissection).
      Becky: Won't you be mad at me?
      Roseanne: The only way I'd be mad at you would be if you did something that you absolutely knew was wrong.

    • Mr. Attleroy: Maybe you can tell me why Mr. Palmer only gets his paper every other day.
      Darlene: Well, his house is kind of hard to see from the road. Sometimes I forget.
      Mr. Attleroy: Did you forget about Mr. Johnson's altogether? Because he's never gotten a paper.
      Darlene: Mr. who?

    • (At breakfast)
      Becky: Hodges is going to make me rip the guts out of some frog.
      Roseanne: Yum, more cereal anyone?

    • Roseanne: Go wash up for dinner now.
      Becky: What are we having?
      Roseanne: Frog legs.
      Beck: You're demented.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • When Dan says: It could be, it might be, it is. Holy cow, it's a honeymoon!, he's making an allusion to Chicago Cubs late great broadcaster, Harry Caray. Harry Caray was known for his broadcasting antics, and used to use similar lines when a player came close to or hit a home run, especially "Holy Cow." The Conners lived in Lanford, Illinois.