Season 3 Episode 1

The Test

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Sep 18, 1990 on ABC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

The Test
The family is on pins and needles when Roseanne thinks that she is pregnant again, each member voicing their unwanted opinion to her one by one. As the clock ticks away, waiting five minutes for the test result seems like an eternity. Meanwhile Becky is growing impatient, waiting for Dan to give her a driving lesson.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Roseanne thinks she is pregnant and tries to hide it from her family, but her plan fails and soon her husband and 2 daughters are upset at the idea of having another sibling to take care of.moreless

    In this opener for the third season of Roseanne, despite the entire episode taking place in three different rooms, it is very entertaining and contains some great interaction between Roseanne and the rest of her family.

    When Roseanne thinks she may be pregnant, she calls Jackie and friend Crystal over to be with her while she takes a pregnancy test. Despite her best efforts to get her family out of the house, they stick around and find out about it, which leads to some arguments with Dan, and her two daughters, Becky and Darlene. Dan is shocked and upset that she may be pregnant, and he does not really want another child, although he learns to accept it and deal with it eventually. Darlene doesn\'t want to have to take care of another sibling, and Becky is worried that another baby would ruin her chances at success, both girls are very selfish but eventually feel remorse by the end of the episode.

    Roseanne has a cute scene with her young son, DJ, when after Darlene calls him an accident, he asks his mom if he is indeed an accident, and she explains that he was not an accident, but a surprise, and the difference between the two.

    All in all, this is an entertaining episode with some funny lines, (\"Well, excuse me for ovulating!\") and great interaction between the characters.moreless
John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Lecy Goranson

Lecy Goranson

Rebecca "Becky" Conner Healy

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (14)

    • Roseanne: I've only been late three times in my life! (Darlene and Becky walk in) And here come two of them now!

    • Roseanne: You just got to sit him down and tell it to him like this: "I'm pregnant, Dan."
      Dan: (amused) Gary.
      Roseanne: Dan.
      Dan: Gary.
      Roseanne: Dan.
      Dan: (shouting) GARY!

    • Dan: Ah, I remember my days as a scout. 'Specially the wilderness training. We couldn't find any wilderness so the scout master dropped us off in downtown Chicago, and we had to try and make it back here on our own.

    • (alluding to herself singing The National Anthem)
      Roseanne: Boy it's a beautiful morning today. It just makes me want to sing! (the stage audience claps)

    • Crystal: I guess I kinda regret not having that little girl I always dreamed about.
      Roseanne: Yeah, me too.

    • Roseanne: (Crystal enters the bathroom joining Roseanne and Jackie) Are they all still out there?
      Crystal: Well, yeah, but I didn't tell them anything. I just said hi and headed straight in here.
      Roseanne: I bet they think we're in here doing some weird shaving ritual.

    • (Dan and Roseanne are looking at D.J.)
      Dan: The kid's got your face, Roseanne. I'm amazed every time I look at him.
      Roseanne: Yeah.
      Dan: None of 'em look like me.
      Roseanne: That won't hold up in court, Dan.
      Dan: Damn.

    • (Roseanne and the family are about to find out the results of Roseanne's pregnancy test.)
      D.J.: I wanna read the stick! I wanna read the stick!
      Darlene: Geez, D.J., it's not like licking the spoon.

    • Dan: This shouldn't have happened, Roseanne. We took precautions.
      Roseanne: Yeah, well they didn't work.
      Dan: Well, you should have known it was your fertile time.
      Roseanne: Well, excuse me for ovulating.

    • Becky: Don't you want me to go to college?
      Roseanne: (sarcastically) No, Becky, your father and I want you to work in a bowling alley.

    • Jackie: What's the rush?
      Roseanne: You told me to hold my first morning's urine, I've been holding it for seven hours.

    • Roseanne: I'm gonna get fixed.
      Dan: You mean you're going to get your tubes tied?
      Roseanne: No, Dan. I'm gonna have my knees sewn together.

    • D.J.: Darlene says I was an accident.
      Roseanne: No, D.J., you were a surprise.
      D.J.: What's the difference?
      Roseanne: accident is something that if you had to do it over again you wouldn't. But a surprise is something that you didn't even know you wanted until you got it.
      D.J.: Was Darlene an accident?
      Dan: No, Darlene was a disaster.
      D.J.: Darlene says no one will pay any attention to me know because of the baby.
      Roseanne: Well how about if we pay lots of extra special attention to you?
      D.J.: I'd like that. I'll like it if you have this baby.
      Roseanne: That's so sweet.
      D.J.: Finally a chance to kick some butt!
      Roseanne: A family tradition being passed down.

    • Roseanne: Go to your room and live in fear!

  • NOTES (1)

    • Roseanne makes a reference to singing in her opening line. This episode was the first to air after her National Anthem debacle at a baseball game during the previous year.