Season 5 Episode 14

War and Peace (2)

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Jan 12, 1993 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
94 votes

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Episode Summary

War and Peace (2)
Dan returns home to rampant rumors about his behavior, all of Lanford has a different story about the way Dan ended up in jail. But no one's is right. Jackie has no idea what had happened until Crystal said that Dan got in a fight with Fisher. When Roseanne goes to take Jackie to gather her belongings to move out of Fisher's apartment, Jackie is unsure that she should leave him. After a talk from Roseanne, everyone sees things a lot clearer.moreless

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  • A classic ending to a two-part episode

    This episode is probably funnier than the first part, with Darlene bailing out Dan, the reference to being "poor white trash," the stories that went around town about Dan being in jail, and how Roseanne treated all of Fisher's stuff. What was astonishing in this episode was the fact that Jackie really did not want to leave Fisher, especially after all she saw as a cop.
  • Pivotal and a great ending to a two-parter...

    Terrific ending to this swell two-part episode! Roseanne urges Jackie to leave her abusive boyfriend. Jackie's agony and confused emotions are beautifully illustrated and Jackie's trauma is real.

    It was a cute, funny, yet touching scene when Jackie finds out that Dan beat up Fisher and has mixed feelings about it...on one hand, she's grateful and touched that Dan cares that much about her, yet she also wonders how Dan could do such a "neanderthal" thing.

    I kind of laughed, yet was touched when Jackie starts weeping and hugs Dan, sobbing *You big jack---* and since Jackie is so tiny and skinny and Dan is so big and tall, she's about only half his height and is nearly lost in his middle as she hugs him.

    The truly pivotal scene is when Roseanne goes over with Jackie to pack her things and Roseanne really tells Fisher off big-time and lets him know that she is WAY more dangerous than Dan. I whooped out loud in that one! It was great!

    Jackie's saying goodbye to Fisher was touching also; Laurie illustrated the pain in Jackie's large brown eyes very well there; I could see that part of Jackie still loved Fisher, but she was then realizing that she could not continue this abusive relationship.

    The episode also was very good in illustrating the cycle of abuse and getting out the message that abuse only gets worse over time if the relationship is not ended.

    I was sooo glad that Jackie left Fisher and to see Fisher go; I liked that the plot, while very good, wasn't dragged on and on like some other TV shows make the mistake of doing esp. with heavy or intense plots. Roseanne is one show that is very good with knowing when to wrap up a plotline and bring closure and this two-parter was no exception.

    The ending was good; I liked the scene where Roseanne and Dan are getting ready for bed and Roseanne's thinking about how lucky she is to have a great guy like Dan as a husband; I like the subsequent bantering that took place also; Dan and Roseanne made a great couple.

    I also like that Roseanne's not afraid to say what's on her mind and Dan likes her as she is.moreless
John Goodman

John Goodman

Dan Conner

Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Jackie Harris

Sara Gilbert

Sara Gilbert

Darlene Conner Healy

Michael Fishman

Michael Fishman

David Jacob "D.J." Conner

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Conner

Alex Cole

Alex Cole


Guest Star

Jake McLaine

Jake McLaine

cop #2

Guest Star

Lanyard Williams

Lanyard Williams

prisoner with guitar

Guest Star

Matt Roth

Matt Roth


Recurring Role

Natalie West

Natalie West

Crystal Anderson Conner

Recurring Role

James Pickens Jr.

James Pickens Jr.

Chuck Mitchell

Recurring Role

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • In the scene where Anne Marie and Chuck come to visit Dan, a boom mike can clearly be seen being lowered and then raised. Anne Marie even looks up at it.

  • QUOTES (18)

    • Dan: What?
      Roseanne: Nothing
      Dan: No really what's the matter?
      Roseanne: Nothing I'm just looking at you.
      Dan: Why?!
      Roseanne: Because I was sitting here thinking about how lucky I am that I have you but now you're getting on my nerves so shut up!
      Dan: Really that's what you were thinking?

      Roseanne: Yeah you know I was thinking I could of done way worse than you you're pretty cool.

      Dan: Do you want me? I've just washed!

      Roseanne: I just said you were cool I didn't say I wanna do nothing.

      Dan: Fine!
      Roseanne: Oh okay come here.
      Dan: No, no, no I'm not that easy tell me some more wonderful things about myself start with my eyes.
      Roseanne: You wanna hear all the things I like about you?... You picked me.. and you fix stuff!

      Dan: Good enough, let's get after it!

    • (in reference to Fisher slipping under her radar)
      Roseanne: (to Fisher) You know I consider myself a really good judge of people and that's why I don't like none of them.

    • Dan: Where is everyone?
      Darlene: Mom's at the supermarket, Aunt Jackie's still sleeping. The doctor gave her something to knock her out.
      Dan: What about DJ?
      Darlene: I tried but he wouldn't swallow the pill.

    • (everybody has a different story about why Dan went to jail)
      Roseanne: Well Dan, according to the people at Buy N' Bag, you went on a drunken rampage, beat up six guys, and took out a payphone.

    • Jackie:You're right
      Roseanne:God, do you know how much time we could save if you could keep that in your mind as a given?

    • Jackie:It's really humiliating; Roseanne's always handling my problems for me and now you.
      Dan:Well, it's a really big job; we had to expand the department.

    • Roseanne:Well, people have been saying it for years. But now with Dan going to jail and everything, we are officially poor white trash!
      (Dan plays the Yellow Rose of Texas on the harmonica and Roseanne and Dan dance a jig to the delight of the onlooking friends).

    • Dan has landed in jail and Roseanne is taking Jackie to the hospital; Darlene is sent to bail-out Dan.
      Roseanne:We need milk but can you do me a favor Darlene? Pick-up the milk and on the way back, could you pick up your dad from jail?

    • (After Roseanne yells at Jackie for never having a stable relationship)
      Jackie: Well we can't all be a happily married couple who love each other and who each weigh 500 pounds!

    • Darlene: Dad, the paper's on the phone. They need a picture to run with the artcle, should I send the one of you dressed as 'Baby New Year' or just have them use your mug shot?

    • Carl: Hey Jailbird! What time is visiting hours?
      Dan: What is this, Mayberry?

    • Darlene: I guess I should prepare you for all of the things that have changed since you've been in the Big House. Mom says we have a new daddy now.

    • (Dan's in Jail)
      Dan: Where's your mom?
      Darlene: Organizing the candlelight vigil.
      Dan: I don't have time for this.
      Darlene: Oh, I think you do.

    • Roseanne: (To Jackie, regarding Fisher)
      I left a message on your scum-sucking ex-boyfriend's machine that he better not bring his bony a-- over to that apartment while we're moving you out of there or I'd bash his skull in...only I said it real mean.

    • Dan: Bottom line Deej, it's not okay to hit anyone, it's NEVER okay to hit a woman, but it's less not okay if you hit someone who's hurt someone you love.
      D.J: What if a woman hurts someone you love?
      Dan: Are you at all interested in hearing where babies come from?

    • D.J.: Dad, why is it not okay for kids to keep stuff from their parents but it's okay for parents to keep stuff from their kids?
      Dan: I guess I should've been the one to tell you before you heard it from somewhere else about my being in jail last night.
      D.J.: YOU WERE IN JAIL!?
      Dan: You didn't know? What was all that stuff about parents keeping things from kids???
      D.J.: I was just asking!

    • Rosenane (to Fisher): You just make sure you never come near Jackie again, because to get to her, you'll have to get through me, and I'm a lot more dangerous than Dan. I own a loose meat restaurant, I know what to do with the body.

    • Roseanne: Jackie we can get more boxes. I will whore myself at every grocery store in town if that's what it takes.

  • NOTES (0)


    • Jailhouse Rock song sung by Dan behind bar in the local jail at the end of the episode. Dan and his musical fellow inmates perform in prison stripes complete with guitar, harmonica and choreography.

    • The episode title is an allusion to the famous novel by Leo Tolstoy of the same name.

    • Dan asks his buddy if they are in 'Mayberry', an allusion to the town in The Andy Griffith Show.